Dark Walker

Horror? NO! Funny? OH YES!

This movie is horrible. Bad actors (especially the main guy - he was so unbelievably sweet that it made you throw up) and actresses (the only believable actress was killed in the beginning of the movie). Acting was horrible. So horrible that it made you laugh. If you watch this movie, you'll feel like you're Anthony Hopkins! And I thought that I was untalented!!

The movie itself - it feels like the movie was made as a home video! The crew should really start learning how to make movies!!! Well, I don't even want to think about the special effects.... There was no blood - only red water.

The plot - there was none!!! Kids come to work in a place where Halloween party takes place.... And this stupid, unreal monster starts killing them. Yeah, but why?? Good question, because you'll never find out the answer.

Think the title is "Darkwalker" (one word), and was "Hobbs Grove: the Movie." It's not worth seeing under any title. Non-acting actors (but the male romantic lead and the woman who plays one of the owners aren't bad); silly demon suit (you can see the head of the guy inside through his mask); boring, nitwit script (including a training speech for the employees at the park); no sense to it anywhere (why is the demon killing people, and why only people who work at the park?); funny commentary by the producer and the director, as if they had made "The Godfather" ("we were so lucky to get this cast"; "this is a beautiful-looking film").

Only reason for this review is to plug Hobbs Grove, the setting of the movie, which has the best haunted house (and the best haunted wood) I've ever been to, and I've been to a few. It looks tacky in the film, as those things always do, but seen in person it's scary and imaginative and atmospheric. Skip "HG: the Movie," but if you're in California around Halloween, check out "HG: the Cool Spook House."

I read your other reviews and bought this film with a little trepidation. The film concerns 8 teens being stalked and killed by a creature because the have opened a horror house on some sacred ground (Ithink the plot really does not make that clear). The killing are a little lack lustre and could have used a little bit more atmosphere but all in all it gets the job done. For those who care there is no nudity in this film at all (Male or Female)and the gore is very minimal so if either of these is your thing Avoid. If like me you are just looking for a fun/creepy way to pass 90 mins then you could do a lot worse. The ending is a little strange though and I felt it let the film down a little.

I purchased the DVD from the $1.99 bin at my local video store. I certainly wasn't expecting much, but for $1.99 who cares... I was surprised by the cinematography quality of the film right off the bat, as I've seen much worse from bigger budgets. Director Danny Draven seems to have an eye for details, although the story lacks any real originality. I found the DVD packaged well, with plenty of bonus options and behind the scenes footage. The acting was harsh, but given the script that they had to work with, they did the best they could. I watched it with my daughter, we both had fun and laughed a lot. I'd like to see what Draven could do with a real screenplay, until then, just relax and have fun with it.

DARK WALKER begins in Hobbs Grove (1878), where a man steals a pumpkin from the wrong patch, resulting in demonic doom. We're whisked away to the present, and Hobbs Grove is now a Halloween haunted house attraction.

When it comes to unoriginality, this movie hits the jackpot! There's a "creepy old caretaker" who scowls at everyone, as well as the obligatory group of annoying young people, including: The "goth chick", the "stoner dude", the "snobby rich girl", and the "psychic". As soon as any of them open their mouths we start wondering what's taking the killer so long to do his job!

When the moon rises, so does the title creature.

Meanwhile, a tour of the haunted house is nearly as interesting as a trip through a local thrift store, and takes far longer.

Finally, the deaths occur, bringing out the canned-ham-with-hair sheriff, and his idiot deputy. All while the caretaker lumbers around like bigfoot in bib overalls. When the haunted house opens to the public, the true non-terror ensues.

PROS: No low-budget CGI! Therefore, the monster isn't a total embarrassment.

CONS: Everything else.

THE BURNING QUESTION: Is the goth chick's lipstick black, or very, very, very, very dark blue?...