The Janitor

Blood, breasts, and cleaning products rain supreme in this soon to be classic film. Filmed with entertainment in mind, this gore flick has lots of sick humor! There isn't much justice my words can do. Just see it. This is is total B-Movie. B= best, breast, blood, bludgeoning, and bucket of cleaning solution. See it! The characters are unique and fun, the girls are hot or at least highly killable as some of the dudes scream like girls and get the plunger! Warning contains some of the best video ever seen of girls "having fun." Was seen when they first played this online. Is a must see film for parties and other large gatherings where feeding off one another's reactions makes it over the top.

Poor Lionel is tried of taking crap from the workers in the building that employs his Custodial services, so he goes on a rampage mutilating anyone who looks at him the wrong way. Mr. Growboi s a fellow janitor who looks to Lional as a son and helps him cover his bloody tracks. However Mr. Growbo isn't someone you should spurn. With horror comedies, they either work or they suck. No middle ground here. Fortunately this one works, coming off as a moderately well acted version of a Troma film (Lloyd Kaufman even has a cameo). It's gory, has gratuitous toplessness, and is frequently quite fun. The character of Lional kinda reminded me of a cross between Peter Jackson circa "Bad Taste" and Orville Ketchum from "Hard to Die" and "Sorority House Massacre 2". My hats off to Andy Signore, TJ Nordaker, and everyone else involved in the production. You guys know how to bring a tear to the eye of a drunken jaded exploitative horror fan.

Eye Candy: Rachael Ann Bennett, Crystal LeBard, Stephanie Medina, and Tusdi Rodriguez get topless

My Grade: B

DVD Extras: Commentary by Andy Signore, John Carreon, and TJ Nordaker; a 58 minute Making of; "th Office is Closed" short film; Lackadaisical Music video; Photo gallery; Deleted scenes; and the trailer

2 Easter Egg: Bruce Cronander improvising & missing his cue; more nudity set to music

It is not often that I give a movie 10/10. This one, for sure, is not for everyone at all times, but for the intended mood and audience, it is perfect.

Every scene has high production values, when you consider that the intent is to produce confusion. Some call this a "B-grade movie", but no, they did not lack the budget to do a good movie. They intentionally, by careful purpose, made something which never suspends disbelief because the world is intrinsically unbelievable.

The result involves everything from audio re-dubbing to key plot points, all used to make you see the mistakes, not as errors, but as intentional. They aren't mistakes at all, they are just... unreal.

This movie should not exist, but it does. A whole crew sat down and made sure that in no moment can you get complacent, thinking that you finally understand the "world rules" can just sit and "be entertained". No, every single moment has obvious wrong things, less obvious wrong elements, and is all constructed upon a premise which is wrong both morally and in consistency with any fantasy or real world laws or order.

This is not total chaos, however. It is a straightforwards story offset, twisted, and then twisted again. At every scene, for every character, in every way.

The acting team is competent, the writing makes for a time-line with no plot holes, and the directing and editing are spot on to keep a great pacing. On purpose, all of the characters are not only odd in some way, but are also exaggerated to the point where their lack of self-awareness is the only consistent plot point.

The audio mix is well done, but on purpose some things are out of sync (e.g. intentional off-sync audio dubbing), as if making reference to other films that do it due to constraints, rather than due to the purposeful effect of parody of an entire genre.

This is not to say that, on a deeper level, this is worth watching - - no, this movie is shallow, gross at times, sets bad examples, and cannot be shown to anyone who takes their time seriously.

However, if you do find yourself taking life too seriously, and struggling with any problem which seems impossible, then this movie will take your mind totally off of those things, and help you to feel emotions that are directed, ultimately, at a well constructed respite from the folly of human society.

I would not suggest that this movie was made by aliens from outer space, but rather, from the comedian from inner space. It is a reflection of those thoughts that we normally ignore and dismiss as way out of possibility and utility, and thus discard.

This movie is trash, on purpose, made to draw attention and then waste it... and it say so in the synopsis. Thus, if that is what you want, a distraction, and an absurdity, then it does it well.

It does not lack in any technical point, either, and greatly appreciate that. The scenes, story, and characters, may all repulse, but never will you be straining to hear a line, complaining about the acting, or thinking that they should have edited the script or timing more.

Rather, you may want to know... what was it that I just watched, how could they possibly get funding for this, and why can't I have as much fun?

I hope that this inspires a new generation of film-makers to make more films with high objective qualities, no matter their budgets, and to spend the extra time and money to polish it in editing.

It may sound like a contradiction, but this is well presented garbage, and that makes it a great movie. If that is what you are looking for, if you have a bunch of friends or some alone time to get distracted and challenged to see life through less serious lenses, then this will definitely help you there.

Please enjoy this as much as I did... just don't judge it as anything than what it plans to be.

Not details about story, plot, or character because every scene is its own "what the ---" moment, and all I want to do is hope that others also can enjoy it. It might even be a new genre: the super never serious consistently inconsistent unpredictable details chaos based horrible emotion invoking movie, or BI SCC DUNS WHIM for short (anagram). Why did I make that anagram?

If you watch this movie, arbitrary things like that will be filling your mind. It is curiously contradictory.

Hi, All Gore fans,

No, I didn't say Al Gore. All gore. Good gore. More gore.

This is a film that I believe was a remake of The Sound of Music but slightly different. This time Julie Andrews is a janitor who is played by a bearded guy. His partner is a Dick Van Dyke look-a-like but who sounds more like Howard Stern after gargling Pennzoil.

The movie begins with a clever title sequence, well edited, and has correct spelling. There is a killing before the title and then it becomes violent with nice music here and there. Good comedy seminal fluid inserts.

Costuming is very well done. Acting is superb, but does not detract from the occasional bloodspurt. Death scenes are funny.

Lionel the Janitor is sort of a combination plate of Jonathan Winters, Charles Bronson, Hulk Hogan, Leo Gorcey, Steven Segal and a touch of Shirley Temple.

His partner is more of a cross between Dolph Lundgren and Tex Ritter with a voice somewhat reminiscent of Mr. Ed.

This is a very funny slasher movie that is well made. I hope the team works on some more stuff soon. Perhaps a western.

Tom Willett

I had "The Janitor" recommended to me by two friends, and when a time came where the opportunity presented itself, I jumped on it like a loaded hand grenade. Best decision I could possibly make. There is a fine line between "good bad horror films" and "bad bad horror films" (see also my review for "Andre the Butcher") and this one stays safely on the "good" side.

The plot is this: a janitor is sick of being looked down on and kills as many people in his office building and at a sorority that he can in the time given him.

This film is not going to be something called a masterpiece. The acting is campy, the characters are caricatures, and if it cost more than twenty dollars to film this I would be surprised. But they make it work. Those with a sick sense of humor will love the non-stop jokes about STDs and semen. And the violence and gore is about the best you will find in a horror film, mainstream or otherwise. Star / writer / director Andy Signore seems to have learned a lot from Troma's Lloyd Kaufman (who appears in this film as a bum).

There's also a difference between good horror nudity and bad horror nudity. Some films throw topless women in the mix simply because they can, and others will do so in a way that is completely unattractive (see again "Andre the Butcher"). The Janitor has some excessive nudity, but it seems necessary and very "hot" which complements the gore aspects well. (I say "necessary" because the characters who get nude are written to build up to these things, unlike other films that have nude women show up without explanation.) Oh, and if you like the nude scenes, check out the Easter Eggs on the DVD. Well worth it.

Okay; campiness, humor, nudity, gore. What am I missing? Ah, yes, the music video on the DVD. This is also a must-see. The star not only wrote and directed, he also sings on the soundtrack and has made a great music video called "You're Gonna Die" which fits the theme of the film well and teaches you to respect your cleaning staff.

Rent this film. Buy this film. If you do not like it, I cannot offer you a refund -- but you will never have to trust another horror movie review from me again.