Riarizumu no yado

Some films are slow, others a just a big non--event.

Ramblers, is the latter, as two twenty-something men who don't know one another, end up bumming about some village in the Japanese countryside after their common friend couldn't be bothered to show up.

And with these two to keep him company, who can blame the man?

To be honest, the 20 minutes I lasted had already stretched my patience to the point of holding down the FF button between all those long, dull, nothing happens aside from the two leads' faces staring off on-screen shots, and I can only recommend that whoever reads this checks out something else instead.

When the friend they have in common craps out on them, two young filmmakers who hardly know each other struggle to enjoy themselves without money in a wintry, deserted resort area. Ultra-quiet comedy of microscopic humiliations.

Crap.

I seriously think the producers of this movie watched Lost in Translation and said "Yeah.. That movies all well and good.. But I don't think it focused on the REALLY BORING parts of Japan enough."

This is what old people watch when they're ready to die. There were some funny parts, but they were all vastly buried underneath long stretches of the main characters staring into space. I wish I were kidding, or exaggerating, but I'd say a good 30 minutes of this movie was just the two main characters looking at the camera with a vacant gaze.

There's a romance side-story.. Kinda... No, not really. It's really one of the characters acting stupid in front of a woman for 20 minutes or so because the director needed something to say to the production people other than "Ok, there are two filmmakers bussing around Japan waiting for someone who we don't know anything about to show up."

Plot? Uh. Nah. There is seriously one scene of any kind of tension between the characters, and if I remember correctly it's over the wimpier one not getting laid. (imagine that.) Well, come to think about it, they DO whine about that friend of theirs who doesn't show up. However, there's a triumphant conclusion to that riveting conflict when he DOES show up at the end of the movie. Great storytelling, guys.

The cinematography was pretty, but boring. Like lesbian porn, only not as shameful to get caught watching.

The acting might've been good, but I couldn't tell over the movie sucking so hard.

Final Word: DON'T SEE RAMBLERS. EVER.