Hellraiser VIII

Now, don't get me wrong: the movie by itself wasn't *that* bad, it was just horrible (no, not in *that* way) in the Hellraiser context. The problem, you see, is the following: the first half of the series (yes, even the 4th installment which most people dislike) were monster-movies - a mysterious box, a couple of evil looking beings that came with it, and a lot of unlucky people who came in contact with them - while "Inferno" and the rest have been turned into mind game movies, where people see things which may, or may not, be related to the box...

What we have in "Hellworld" is a genuine mediocre teen slasher: 5 young people, who were once dedicated players of the Internet based game "Hellworld" but are taking it cooler since the suicide of their fellow player, get invited to a big party. From the beginning things seem weird and soon our heroes start to die one by one... And that's it. Pinhead, once a scary creature from Hell, has basically been turned into a serial killer with minimum imagination. The whole "you dared to open the box, we came, now you'll be tortured for all eternity" is gone. It's quite obvious that this script wasn't written with Hellraiser in mind. It's actually a mystery why it was even made part of the series, when it'd worked quite nicely independently... It could have used more deaths though.

I have to mention two positive things about the movie: Lace (hey, it doesn't matter if it's a brilliant masterpiece or Z-class production when Lance is in it!) and the fact that everybody was familiar with the Hellraiser mythology (the main character Chelsea even mentions that cenobites could never attack her because she would never open the box... beside the fact that it's all just fiction).

But all in all I'd give it a 4 out of 10 - not enough deaths, lame story, has virtually nothing to do with the Hellraiser franchise, but the deaths were OK and Lace played along.

A group of college kids who have messed around with the Lament Configuration in an online Hellraiser game, resulting in the death of one of the group before the movie has begun, are invited to a party at the mansion once owned by the man who created the puzzle box in the first place. There they are met by Lance Henrickson (!), who is hosting a big party for Hellraiser game fans. From this point, confusion reigns until the last five minutes when all is neatly explained away. The ending definitely contains a neat and unexpected twist, but one cannot forgive what has gone before and which takes well over an hour to get to the point. Decent gore, although true Hellraiser fans will be puzzled (no pun intended) by some of the goings-on,which bear no resemblance to the Hellraiser canon -- that is, until Lance explains all at the end. Pinhead is strictly a fleeting guest in this one, which has happened before, God knows. The film is new enough to have been influenced by the SAW series and the basic plot as such (discounting the explanation at the end) is straight out of the HALLOWEEN flick where the crowd gathers for a night of live televised fun and terror in Michael's family home. Shot back to back with HELLRAISER: DEADERS by the same director in Romania, this one is a notch above that incredibly dreary effort. Ah well, we can only await the cinematic remake of the original HELLRAISER.

This movie was terrible. I can't believe all the good reviews it got. This is easily the worst movie ever to bear the name Hellraiser, and if it weren't for Lance Henriksen, it wouldn't have even been a 2 in my book.

The acting ranged from mediocre (Chelsea) to downright abysmal (Jake), with the lone exception being Henriksen in his usual calm and menacing demeanor. The dialogue was clichéd, and Pinhead was turned into a crude mixture of Freddy Krueger and Jason Vorhees. He is supposed to be an arbiter, a ferryman to the other-worldly pleasures of the Hellraiser world, not some mindless killer of teenie-boppers. I couldn't care about any of the characters, which is what so painfully divides this movie from the 1st, which was built upon its characters. This is like Scream, except without any meaningful attempt at suspense or scares. The whole movie was so damn predictable that I was able to call every surprise.

I could tell though, before any of drivel that passed as "horror" in a franchise that isn't even supposed to be horror, that this movie would suck based on the Pinhead shirt one of the characters was wearing. That and a guy in a cenobite mask removed all attempts at a dignified motion picture before it even really began.

What disappoints me so much though is not the crappy acting, the swiss-cheese plot, or the sheer failure to achieve even mediocrity. Its how far this movie has fallen form the 1st or the 5th. Hell, Deader was worlds better than this, and even 3 and 4 had at least good quotes. This movie is an embarrassment, and Clive Barker should be infuriated at how his once-noble franchise has been mutilated.

What is this, what has this to do with Hellraiser, nothing at all, sure the lament configuration is there and there's an online game but let that be all. And pinhead do appears but he isn't what he is used to be. No punishment at all, okay, here we do have back some cenobites but that's it.

Pinhead is really forced into the story to make a Hellraiser flick but it didn't work at all. He do uses his one-liners but it's so forced and I really got pity with Bradley that he was involved in this little stinker.

Also, it's the first Hellraiser with that amount of nudity. Sadly, it doesn't add a thing to Hell. It's also the franchise that we see Bradley performing for the last time as pinhead, Revealtions (2011) was the follow-up and we all knew what that was, a flop.

Gore 0,5/5 Nudity 1,5/5 Effects 2/5 Story 2/5 Comedy 0/5

Another one in a series of scenarios that are obviously not originally written for the franchise, but subsequently adapted to fit into it. Not particularly successful this time. Frankly, I was bored. I can not specifically point a finger and say, "This is bad." Nothing in this movie is particularly bad, but nothing is particularly good either, so it's all together forgettable and leaves no impression. The premise is interesting, but it is developed to the unconvincing and unexciting story. The music is not annoying, but it's not catchy either, and by no means contributes to the atmosphere. But there's really no atmosphere, or tension, or fear... Not even decent jump-scares. The acting varies from bad to mediocre, and even famous names such as Lance Henriksen, Katheryn Winnick (Lagertha from the "Vikings") and Henry Cavill (the last Superman) are totally unimpressive. I did not even recognize Lagertha until the end credits. In short, to answer the question from the headline: No, it isn't LIKE a bad horror movie - it IS a bad horror movie. However, the premise brings refreshment in the franchise, there are beautiful and naked girls and some nicely done gore, and I liked the final twist, so I can not completely bury it (pun intended).

5/10