The 75th Annual Academy Awards

Like a great number of other people I had mixed feelings whether the Oscars should be going ahead or not , it`s almost impossible to justify an extravaganza like the academy awards while there`s a war going on , but to their credit the producers kept it fairly low key with no massive self congratulation that we often see . And credit where it`s deserved to Chris Cooper and Adrien Brody for their dignified speeches . Brody especially won my respect as he mentioned his friend out in the Gulf . But of course there`s always someone who doesn`t know when to keep their mouth shut . Whatever the rights and wrongs of the Gulf war Michael Moore shouldn`t have been allowed to go on a political rant and should have been cut off long before he was , Jane Fonda didn`t bring heartfelt opinions to the Oscars so someone who`s not fit to lace Miss Fonda`s boots shouldn`t either . I did enjoy Steve Martin`s wisecrack about teamsters helping Michael Moore into the boot of his limo

And speaking of Martin I thought he was the best host the event has ever had. Barbed comments about red carpets , and France and Germany had me grinning , but I laughed out loud as he said that it doesn`t matter if you`re straight ( Camera cuts to Harrison Ford ) or Gay ( Camera cuts to Jack Nicholson ) . Martin then said he wasn`t going to mention the people he slept with ( Camera cuts to Nicole Kidman , Julie Andrews etc ) but the best line was about the gay mafia: " I don`t want to mention them in case I wake up with a poodle`s head in my bed " Here`s hoping Martin is the host for many years to come

As for the awards themselves THE TWO TOWERS was the only picture I saw last year that was nominated for Best Film so I can`t really comment if the awards were justified or not but I thought there was something fundementally wrong with the choice for best director . Obviously having sex with a minor and jumping bail isn`t a bad career move and it was nice to see some members sat in their seats shaking their heads when the winner was announced . You`ve also got to feel sorry for Martin Scorsese since the rumour mill has been whispering that GANGS OF NEW YORK was his last chance to pick up the award for best director . I was also shocked that the film didn`t pick up any awards on the night as Daniel Day Lewis was the hot tip for best actor . CHICAGO won best film which surprised me as it picked up a row of Oscars for technical achivements but then lost out to THE PIANIST for all the major awards

So a night of surprises and controversy . Let`s hope next year we`ll see Steve Martin hosting Oscar night where RETURN OF THE KING sweeps the board

Steve Martin's insults made this presentation! In light of the recent war in Iraq, many celebrities dressed down and even did not show up. But Steve Martin made us all forget when he started randomly insulting actors and actresses in the audience.

Some of his lines made the actors in the audience literally gasp in astonishment. Here are some of quotes from his hosting performance:

"Movie stars can be straight (camera on Harrison Ford), or gay (camera on Jack Nicholson)." "He got to go in a hot tub with Kathy Bates - but who hasn't?" "And Queen Latifah - or as I like to call her, 'sequel money'!"

Martin was the best thing about this otherwise out-of-place Oscars that just seemed too watered down. I think it's important to respect those fighting for America and England, but as they say, "The show must go on," and this show BARELY went on.

This year's Academy Awards showed how politics are always in the mix, and I don't mean with America's current situation with Iraq. What I mean is that there seems to be an (unintentional?) fix with two particular movies of the evening- Chicago and Gangs of New York. Chicago went away with six, SIX Oscars, for being merely an over-rated re-tread of dumb, glitzy, Hollywood (Hollwood the key word) musicals, where there are occasionally catchy scenes- terribly brought down by the need for Richard Gere and John C. Reilly to try for big performances and can barely manage mediocre. Gangs of New York, on the other hand (a personal favorite from last year), which was the film with the second most amount of nominations (Chicago had 13, Gangs with 10), walked away with none, NONE. This isn't the first time this sort of syndrome has happened to a great movie (The Insider in 99, Psycho in 60, Clockwork Orange in 71), but this was a tad ridiculous.

Does the Academy feel a certain dis-affection towards the man, Martin Scorsese, and his little gem of a history lesson? I can respect that Roman Polanski got the Oscar for The Pianist, as it did deserve it in many respects (certainly the best European direction, and as the Palme D'Or at Cannes last year it was a clear choice over the numb flamboyancy of Rob Marshall's Chicago); however in all honesty, why give the Oscar to someone who isn't allowed in the country to receive it personally, when the guy who deserved it for best AMERICAN direction, anyway, looses? Is there a curse upon Scorsese that any year he makes a picture worthy of at least ONE Oscar, even outside of direction (i.e. Dante Ferreti's production design is some of the finest and most original ever, loosing to Chicago, which won basically for an adaptation of a design from the musical!). Only time will tell...

Having said that, I did enjoy some parts of the show when it wasn't filled with the usual fodder of montage-adulation, and the song in the background as the winner walking up being "all that jazz". Steve Martin did a respectable, pretty funny job, not to the absolute caliber of the first job, but with some fresh jabs at the industry (the two best being with Nicholson and Borgnine). Michael Moore getting a definitely deserved Oscar, said things in his speech that made some "boo", but really, it made a sense in its audacity. Claps go to Almodovar, Kidman, Cooper, Eminem (what was with the guy who presented, gold chains and all?), the late Conrad L. Hall, Brody (Nicholson and Day-Lewis were equally worthy), and for ol' Peter O'Toole...

And yet, outside of that, I felt a little uneasy watching the awards ceremony, as I probably do watching past ones. With this one though, I just got the feeling that there was a very slight rig in the works throughout. Of course I realize this is the name of the game on such a night, but the fact that most of the films that won for the headline factor of the film instead of the films themselves is eerie...then I remember that in the overall scheme of things in th e industry the Oscars count for very little. For example, years from now, or even now, how many people remember specific images and emotions and scenes in Ordinary People? Not too many, I can guess. But Raging Bull, "that's entertainment"!

Is it that time of year already? Despite the fact that the Iraqi war is in full swing, the ceremony still went ahead with, as Steve Martin wryly observed with his opening line, toned down glitz! The impact of the war made for a tighter, more controlled show. Personally I thought the `normal' dress style made the ceremony more relatable without the usual extremes of fashion and talk of how much so and so's shoes cost.

The subdued air also must have contributed to the show actually finishing on time for the first time that I can ever remember. Sadly it also meant that this ceremony had the lowest live TV audience ever. The subdued air had a big effect on the tone of the night. Steve Martin's jokes were OK but the audience were difficult. Some of his opening monologue was weak, slow and forced – the joke about celebs who slept with him was too full of pauses to work well. It also didn't flow very well – with sudden changes of subject not letting Martin pace himself. And where did that mobile phone come from?! His best line of the night? `Nobody is a loser here – but we're about to change all that'.

The actual awards themselves were surprisingly surprising. We all knew Chicago would take best picture and a hatfull of other awards but Jones for best supporting?! Also this was supposed to be Martin Scorsese's year? Yeah, GONY may not be anywhere near his best but it's the Academy's chance to make up for his missed chances – but no! Polanksi is a brave choice and it was funny to see Harrison Ford, without a hint of irony, say `Roman couldn't be here tonight!'

Best actor was a real shock and it clearly was to Brody who swore twice on stage! Personally if neither of the two favourites won I wanted to see Caine win for The Quiet American – his best work for years, but I guess no one wants a film that openly criticises American foreign policy at the moment! Michael Moore took the biggest talking point by calling President Bush a `fictional president leading us into a fictional war'. His film deserved to win and I was surprised that the very liberal Hollywood booed him as they did – I guess no-one wants their stock to go down as the public gets behind `the boys'.

Biggest surprise for me was Eminem winning best song. Again another brave selection – shame he refused to perform or attend due to being asked to tone his act down. However even with all these talking points the ceremony still felt very muted and Steve Martin wasn't funny enough during the proceedings to lift it as needed. He wasn't bad but I'd always admired Billy Crystal's ability to really lift it by his own presence.

Overall a good year for surprising winners and talking points. I like it when the odds on favourites don't sweep the board. The show is amusing with Martin pretty good in his monologue and not afraid to go near the bone on one or two lines, but mostly the ceremony was pretty drab. It always amazes me that the presenters of the awards are all great actors etc but can't convincingly read off an autocue!

Despite the muted tone of the 75th Academy Awards, there were some outstanding moments and here are a few of the observations I care to make on the whole affair:

1) Adding not a bit of class to the televised event was CAMERON DIAZ, busily chewing gum and staring vacantly at some of the old-time presenters, as though she either didn't recognize them or didn't appreciate that they were a part of film history;

2) ADRIEN BRODY giving a genuinely heart-felt acceptance speech, including the surprisingly passionate kiss for Halle Berry! Talk about taking advantage of a situation, but at least he was honest about it;

3) MICHAEL MOORE making a complete jackass of himself by taking the stage to receive an award (for a non-documentary, by the way), and then erupting into a tirade against President Bush and the war that was greeted at first with abashed silence and then a round of well-deserved boos from the overwhelmingly liberal Hollywood crowd;

4) OLIVIA DE HAVILLAND receiving a standing ovation and still radiating good health and classic loveliness even with silver-white hair as she presented 59 of the past winners. Among the missing: ELIZABETH TAYLOR, which was just as well considering her diamonds would have weighed her down, even if she was sitting in a wheelchair, and would have called for even more of a bodyguard atmosphere than usual;

5) Among those who didn't look so well (some even shockingly bad), were KARL MALDEN, JENNIFER JONES (who looked like a wax figure), TERESA WRIGHT, GEORGE CHAKIRIS (another wax figure), KIRK DOUGLAS, DUSTIN Hoffman, PATRICIA NEAL and CLIFF ROBERTSON.

Although it was good to see a stage full of former winners, one couldn't help noticing how few of them resembled their former selves on screen.

STEVE MARTIN did an okay job as presenter, easily rebuffing Michael Moore with a clever comeback line about the Mafia, but unfortunately veering into tasteless territory with his jokes about MICKEY ROONEY's age or the sexual ambiguities of stars like JACK NICHOLSON and others.

I was especially impresssed with one of de Havilland's comments after observing that much had changed since the earlier times. "What hasn't changed," she said, in her gentle tone, "is our love of the movies. They inspire us and help us through troubled times." She's done so many Oscar shows as presenter (not to mention winner) and is always a reminder of how classy Hollywood performers used to be.