Sasquatch Hunters

"Sasquatch Hunters" is a very bad Bigfoot flick… Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever encountered a good or even half-decent Bigfoot flick. Them seventies flicks like "Legend of Boggy Creek", "Creature from Black Lake" and "Sasqua" are undoubtedly charming to look at, but you honestly can't refer to them as good movies. But the newest generation of Sasquatch/Snowman/Bigfoot movies, like "Devil on the Mountain", "Abominable" and also including this "Sasquatch Hunters" are beyond awful and downright pathetic. Recurring defaults in all of them are the miserable computer generated special effects (whatever happened to putting a large fat bloke into a hairy costume), the budgetary restraints and the cast full of untalented nobodies. Somewhere in a remote and forestry region – I forgot which one – a bunch of park rangers team up with a trio of paleontologists in search of … old monkey bones! But why settle for dead monsters' skeletons when you can have an actual encounter with a real (and very hungry) Sasquatch? The killing sequences are laughably inept and insultingly fake, most notably the one where our giant stupid monkey smashes someone against a tree. The cast is mostly unmemorable, except maybe for the girl with her enormous hooters in a tight blue top. Otherwise there isn't anything else to say about "Sasquatch Hunters" apart from skip it

That's right. A movie written, directed and produced by Fred Tepper and family. (Fred should have known better, having worked the sets of 'Titantic' and 'Dogma'.)

So, the plot. There are some scientists, and some forest rangers, and a hot chick with huge fake breasts. They are all really bad at their jobs, including the hot chick(who I think is supposed to be a photographer, but who cares because she wears a bikini). One of the forest rangers comments that the scientists are "professional people," which is good, because it would be horrible if they were professional grubs or jellybeans or Ewoks.

They are hiking through the woods in search of some strange ape-like bones, and no one even once mentions that the bones just might be those of the infamous Bigfoot. They just wander around and one of the rangers unabashedly hits on the hottie. We all hope he dies real soon (along with his sister who's meant to be the cute naive one, but is really just annoying). Then they, *gasp*, find a Sasqu... I mean, Ape-like Animal Burial Ground. Of course, no mentions that it might just be Bigfoot bones they're messing with... I guess scientists and forest rangers just don't think about those types of things.

Then Sasquatch and his tribe get really angry and kill all the people we dislike, chases the other losers away and buries his Great Aunt Muriel and Cousin Josh (who died in an unfortunate trout accident) all over again.

Insipid, boring dialogue (I zoned out several times), inane plot, unlikable characters, bad CGI (a man in a monkey suit would look better), and acting that just wasn't very good all add up to make a movie I won't be watching again.

You check it out though; it's good for some unintentional laughs.

foywonder's review of this cheap STV hits the nail squarely on the head. Make sure you read it. In case you don't, a group of scientists heads off into the deep woods of the Pacific Northwest, to fumble around with a bunch of bones in an animal graveyard. The Big Foot family doesn't take kindly to this, and proceeds to pick off the team one by one, largely offscreen. Big Foot himself has a distinctly ape-like face, but is less scary overall than Harry from HARRY AND THE HENDERSONS. Most of the movie has the wooden, generic actors pretending to be scientists tromping around in the woods and yakking away. This is a no-budget movie in which very little happens, at least on screen. We do get to watch the sexiest of the females take a shower while one of her male companions watches, but nothing comes of this.

*SPOILER ALERT* *SPOILER ALERT*

A bunch of scientists and rangers head out into the woods to look for fossils. They stumble upon a Bigfoot graveyard. Those bones are huge! Could gorillas be living out here in the woods? What creature could have chowed down on a bear and thrown him up a tree? It must be a Sasquatch. The scientists will have to toughen up if they want to survive the night as the Sasquatch doesn't like anyone messing with his buried friends and relatives.

"Sasquatch Hunters" is a decent B-movie. I knew it was going to be a straight down the middle flick when two idiots were killed in the first ten minutes. The Sasquatch is an angry monster who likes to hunt humans. My kind of beast. The effects were laughable and the girl with the biggest breasts didn't get topless but overall I was satisfied. It's worth a look if you like monster flicks.

A group of forest rangers and scientists go into the woods to find fossils.They stumble on a Bigfoot burial ground eventually (the didn't notice it in the dark), The scenes of the CGI Bigfoot are horrid, but better than the endless scenes of talking that they rarely punctuate. I used to think that there just might be a good Bigfoot movie to be made. But now after so many sad sad movies about the legend, I'm having serious doubts. To pour salt in the wound of watching this film, the ONE good-looking girl just doesn't get naked once. And while this one MAY be better than "Boggy Creek 2" (no mean feat there), it's still sad that the best non-documentary film on Bigfoot remains "Harry and the Henriksons"

My Grade: D