Beauty and the Beast

This movie is not great, by any stretch. It is the story of Beauty and the Beast retold from a vaguely new perspective.

Having said that, its not as bad as it first appears. Sure, the costumes suck...it is obvious that this is a film with a very low budget.

But the acting is decent, and there were even a few that stood out. The writing is decent. And the directing was obviously quite good. He/she did quite a bit with very little money spent. Even the production was decent. Not spectacular, by any means. But certainly could have been worse.

So, does it top my A list? Not a chance. But if you are looking for a movie that is a pleasant diversion, this may be the ticket.

A Viking-era retelling of the Beauty and the Beast storyline, with the pretty Jane March (STALKER) playing a character about 20 years younger than the actress is. This was retitled BLOOD OF THE VIKINGS in a bid to draw in a new audience, and I'm glad I wasn't misled by that new title.

In any case, this is rubbish. It's pantomime-level stuff with production values weaker than an average episode of XENA: WARRIOR PRINCESS. The story sees a group of loyal Vikings taking a voyage abroad, where the king is killed and a woman's lover lost. Later they travel again, where they find a brutal monster capable of killing the most seasoned warriors. Could it be the woman's lover, trapped in a sinister curse?

Needless to say this is all complete nonsense, loaded with anachronisms and an almost entire lack of understanding of the era in which the story is set. It works best as a fantasy, but even then it's poor stuff indeed, with some of the most horrid action choreography you'll see. The hair extensions have to be seen to be believed. March, the most experienced actress in it, gives a poor performance equalled by the miscast Justin Whalin, who once starred in THE NEW ADVENTURES OF SUPERMAN but now has no career.

The ambition was there but not carried out well. Wigs, modern dresses, and bad acting keep this from being an endearing tale though it doesn't prevent it from being watchable. What really weighs it down is the highly overdone trope of spirited princess being more courageous and brave than warriors, even calling them cowardly in righteous indignation. Many comments are made about not being a son, not being able to do what men do, but even in her dying breath, she will obey the laws of their people when Agnar challenges Sven for her hand. Historically, such gender expectancy was rare when seemingly pushed by men, as patriarchal systems put structure and roles on men, not women, and women of royalty pushed feminine culture with such expectancies for the women of their societies, more than men did, even having girls yearning to be able to marry up and be honored above others. This actually hasn't changed. The choice of Jane March as Freya, to world a sword and battle a beast, also made this less believable because she can barely lift a sword in real life with her frailty.

I happened upon this rare piece of cinematic art whilst looking for Batman Begins at Blockbuster. Batman was out and this was there. Which was unfortunate. From the opening scene where viking teenagers are swimming and we see that apparently the producers forgot ITS COLD in Norse lands. Also every one is young and pretty. It felt very much like watching an episode of Xena. I mean lets be honest this is a straight to video release for a reason. The acting is very bad. Of course the material wasn't any help at all. I will say that the production design team did a very good job. I am sure this was a very low budget film but they did a good job. The story line works to a certain degree. I mean it is beauty and the Beast retold. If your looking for Vicking movies I would stick with the 13th Warrior.

We rented this movie for fun, and what a blast it was! The cover looks like Lord of the Rings, which is why it was rented. The acting was alright, some were worse than others. But that's to be expected in a movie like this. The sets were good, for the budget they were on. Costumes were not completely historically accurate, but they were alright. Sven's fringe braid thing was fugly, and I wanted to cut it off. The wigs though...the best damn thing in this movie. Who designed them I don't know, but damn, they were hideous. Fugly, fugly, fugly! Overall it's an okay movie, um maybe play a drinking game while you're watching so that it seems better than it really is? Though if you have a rule where you take a drink every time a bad wig is on the screen, you may die.