The Mother

The Mother is a very intelligent drama, one that would guarantee to have you talking, a taboo topic that isn't often visited. The question, how should someone when they're in advanced years, retired and had families behave? Should they put their slippers on and await the inevitable Nursing Home, or should they go wild, grabbing opportunities as they arise.

The story is a complex one, but intelligent and thought provoking. The main thing i'm sure many will ask is, is May a good person or not? Do her feelings for Darren come from a good place, come from grief, or has a hidden passion burned away her entire life? I felt bad for Paula, a daughter slightly messed up, who's set to find out the worst possible news about the love of her life.

Superb performances, Anne Reid is phenomenal as May, she totally steals the show with a powerhouse performance, where she displays passion and total apathy. Daniel Craig is also superb, you can totally believe in May falling for his character, handsome, care free, but all is not as it seems.

Brilliant, and a reminder of how good the quality of film making is from The BBC, I ask though, why has this style of show vanished from our screens?

Quality viewing, 9/10

Of all the films I have seen this year (2004), none has affected me as deeply and personally as "The Mother", and on so many levels.

For one thing, watching May deal with the grief and loss and sudden disorientation of widowhood, I could not help wondering how my own mother will cope when the time comes, as it surely must, for her and indeed for all of us.

But, as May's story unfolded, it was my own sense of grief and loss and disorientation that I experienced anew. May and I share something in common: not widowhood, but age, or rather the loss of youth, and the invisibility and untouchability that come with age.

I could relate to May's need for passion, her need to be loved, her need, not so much for sex, but simply to be touched. But as we grow older, we are ironically shut out and shunted aside and denied the very thing our souls cry out for. (Note: There are some disturbing and shocking images of sexuality in "The Mother", but don't let them put you off and blind you to the real message of the film.)

May, at least, rediscovers another passion within -- to create art -- and so is able to live again. Not all of us are so fortunate. In this respect, I identify more with May's daughter Paula who, when love and passion fail and die, feels that her creative expression is no longer valid and worthwhile, and destroys her works in a fit of despair.

May is a woman in her late 60s; I am a gay man in my late 40s. Yet our stories are similar in so many ways. What May experiences in a matter of weeks, I have felt over the past decade. My passion has yet to be rediscovered.

It is no accident that "The Mother" was scripted by Hanif Kureishi, who gave us "My Beautiful Laundrette", a love story about two gay men in the flower of youth. "The Mother" is at the other end of the spectrum, a story about age and the denial of passion. To paraphrase the title of another Kureishi film, "The Mother" might aptly be titled "Sammy and Rosie Get Old".

"The Mother" is a raw unpeeling of relationships between older parents and adult children in a very contemporary take on the British "kitchen sink drama".

Every character is baldly selfish to the point of startling brutality. Each one responds to attempted openings of lines of communication with "But what about me?"

The naturalism is palpably realistic, such that when Hanif Kureish's script crosses a line to go a bit over the top it's upsetting and jarring.

Director Roger Michell is particularly good at capturing the domestic mise en scene of sounds -- from simultaneous conversations to children's chatter -- and sights, such as lingering over meaningful visuals from a pair of old slippers to a casually bare torso.

Anne Reid gives the gutsiest older woman performance since Kathy Bates in "About Schmidt" and Helen Mirren in "Calendar Girls," but those were mostly played for laughs and didn't reveal the painful de-layering of inhibitions. Her character's continued low self-esteem to the point of accepting abuse is difficult to watch.

Except for a very atypical appearance in the first "Lara Croft," Daniel Craig has avoided depending on his magnetic hunkiness on screen. Here, as in "Sylvia," his manliness is a protean catalyst for the plot. In a complex triangle of relationships, his carpenter obliges the other characters' obsessions to project their fantasies and needs on to him.

While the grandmother finds some independence and self-respect, I'm not optimistic about the grandchildren in this dysfunctional family.

I'm usually harsh on British movies as they are generally predictable, over-acted, obvious in dialogue and heavily reliant on cliched emotional set-ups.

Although this could be accused of some of those traits it dealt with a lot of issues very uncomfortably, far more so than if this had been a simple, tidy, loose ends all-tied TV drama. A couple of times I winced at what I was seeing but was fairly quickly drawn back by a follow-up scene which resumed what, overall, was an excellent film.

Emphasis has been given to the older-woman-having-sex aspect but there's far more to this film. If you don't like your family and friends then this might push you to re-evaluate those relationships. Might reaffirm what you have but it's definitely worth seeing although it's not all easy viewing.

The Mother is a harsh, severe film about relationship and families. The characters are not physically abusive. They are mentally. Adult children who simply do not care or are distant from their parents.

The emptiness of the parent-child relationship is there to see from the beginning as we see Peter Vaughan and Anne Reid travelling on the train to London to see their selfish son and equally selfish daughter.

Reid soon becomes a widow and lives with her children for a while and starts an affair with his son's friend and builder (Daniel Craig) who also happens to be married. He is also having an affair himself with Reid's daughter.

Reid who raised her children, had a job and was almost dutiful to her husband. She is emotionally re-awakened by her affair with the youthful and physical Craig. This is depicted by her etchings.

Contrast this when her daughter tries to set her up with an older man for which she has no emotional connection.

The film does not entirely explain why Craig beds Reid, or why the children are so selfish and even bitter.

The ending leaves a visceral punch to the gut. Almost all the characters are unlikable but at least Reid makes a journey of discovery and decides she doesn't want to waste away in her former marital home.

The film is uneven. It is a glorified television film but writer Hanif Kureishi, despite a few sex scenes handles the themes in a more sensitive and subtle manner than his previous works.