The Lord of the G-Strings: The Femaleship of the String

Well where to begin. Diddle Earth is once again threatened by the evil weapon known as the G-String. Smirnoff the wizard enlists three Throbbits from Throbbiton to go up against the forces of evil, namely Soura$$ the wizard and the one that continually searches for his precious, Ballem. Will the three Throbbits, Dildo Saggins, Horny and Spam survive their quest and destroy the G-String in the chasm of Mount Partypooper? Better yet, will we care?

This spoof by the guys at Seduction Cinema is actually pretty entertaining. Stupid funny are all the jokes with ample amounts of female nudity and lesbian sex. It is just your typical softcore guy flick. No socially redeeming qualities. But you already guessed that I think. The film has a few attractive ladies in this one. I know I'm a pig.

Suspiria10 gives it C-

Okay, admittedly, this is a bad movie, but it's so bad it's funny.

The girls are hot, the acting is bad, the breasts are, for the most part, small, but the costumes are nice, the outfits on the girls are worth the price of rental... so if you want to laugh, check it out.

The idea is almost kind of fun. For about 10 minutes, when the thing starts to sag like some of the botoxed bossomy broads passing themselves off as actresses.

The whole thing gets bogged down with so many bad ideas, poor execution and acting so excrutiatingly bad it makes the worst of soap operas look and sound like Shakespeare.

This would be better off as full fledged porn rather than a feeble attempt at aiming towards "B" moviedom. As it is it seriously stinks.

All in all I'd say this flick is about as much fun as a barrel of dead monkeys. Nah, it ain't that much fun.

Lord of the G-Strings (2003)

* 1/2 (out of 4)

This being Seduction Cinema and featuring Misty Mundae you know you're in for some soft-core sex. This here is a spoof of the LORD OF THE RINGS trilogy with Misty playing the Throbbit Dildo Saggins who is given the magical G-string from a drunken wizard. Dildo must then travel to a lesbian island to destroy the bad guys while along the way licking as many women as possible. I guess it's fair to say that the "story" really shouldn't matter in a film like this but while watching it I still couldn't help but have a flashback to my teenage years where my buddies and I would stay up late on Friday nights just to check out the latest soft-core flick on Cinemax. You know, looking back on those movies they actually look pretty good and especially when you compare them to the latest trend, which is low-budget movies shot quickly and with a mostly unknown cast. Mundae has become a cult favorite due in large part to her very much looking like the girl next door. In the day and age where every "porn" star has breast implants, tans and more fake parts than a Frankenstein monster, many people enjoy the natural looking Mundae. I must admit that she's quite cute and when she wants to she can also deliver a fine performance. The performance aspect is pretty much gone here but she does manage to have a couple good sex scenes including a sequence towards the end where the threesome eventually turns into a sevensome as more and more ladies join the fun. I will admit that most of the sex scenes get rather boring as the soft-core elements just aren't as strong as many other films out there and even for such a soft flick the scenes just seem too timid for their own good. The supporting cast features some familiar faces to those familiar with Seduction Cinema. As you'd expect, on a technical level everything is pretty bland here with some incredibly bad acting, silly costumes and some computer effects that appear to be left over from the era of the original Duck Hunt. Fans of THE LORD OF THE RINGS probably won't be impressed with any of the "jokes" here as they are pretty lame. So, with that in mind, the film's really just for Misty fans who must see everything she's done.

OK first its soft-core porn, if you don't like a lot of soft lesbian scenes you may as well go elsewhere. As far as porn rip offs of well known films go this isn't bad. The characters are easy enough to laugh at, Erin Brown (Aka Misty Mundae) is hysterical as the main character and her wizard mentor Smirnof will have you in stitches. The plot is of course a very simplified version of the Tolkien books with as many sex based jokes as they could cram into one script. The effects are cheap and so are the costumes but you won't care. The actors know they are making a cheap parody and they run with it playing it for laughs all the way. There are several times they break the fourth wall but if it worked for Groucho it can work for this film. Grab a beer or 6 and some pretzels, but try not to drink to fast or you may end up doing spit takes while watching this.