Final Examination

This god-awful turkey is one of those flaccid b-movies which is half b-thriller and half soft-core pornography. Fans of neither will be satisfied. The thriller material seems like filler quickly thrown together to pad out the time between the skin scenes and those scenes seem like filler put in fill time in between the thriller movie scenes. The porn bits I can't imagine would be particularly satisfying to even the most undiscerning watcher of soft-core material. Basically, lots of plastic bimbos and dudes grinding away in a mechanical and decidedly un-erotic fashion at irregular intervals. Actually, pretty much the entire film seems like filler material in terms of execution and development.

The fact lead actress Kari Wuhrer is in the position of the actress considered respectable enough to not have at least one gratuitous boob shot is indicative of the quality of the film given her oeuvre and work ethic. Pretty much everything about this movie is bad and every scene incompetently staged in terms of script, direction, acting and editing. It would take more time than it's worth to list and describe every inadequacy present in Final Examination. Obviously this isn't a subgenre that sets high standards, really only existing to provide a few cheap thrills and some T&A but this movie, and most others like it are just painful to watch, failing to provide any real entertainment on any level, even in providing those simple elements. The only bits that work on a so bad it's almost entertaining level are the car chases, which are quite obviously mostly footage from another far higher budget movie clumsily spliced with shots of characters from the movie we're watching. What makes these particular scenes even dumber is how little they have to do with the rest of the movie- both chases are possibly even more gratuitous than the numerous sex scenes. The tone and amount of in jokiness is indicative that the movie is not meant to be taken seriously and only meant to be a bit of fun but the problem is that it isn't. The inclusion of character called 'Hugh Janus' and the way the movie clumsily brings attention to this lame and rather childish joke is indicative of the level of script there is here. Avoid this movie.

This is definitely no masterpiece, but it is halfway decent. Considering the fact that it looks like something you'd see on Showtime late at night, it is fairly well done. And the car chases are good for a film of its budget. The acting, on the other hand, is atrocious. The very pretty Kari Wuhrer is a good actress, but the rest of the cast seem to be delivering their lines in their sleep. Brent Huff, who plays the lead, is especially horrible. He's so stonefaced that he makes Vin Diesel look like a Shakesperean actor. Other than Kari, the women aren't terribly attractive, but they have nice bodies. It's basically softcore porn. Not all these types of actresses are beauty queens. As long as their bra sizes are at least C-cups, they qualify. But unlike most of these softcore movies, there is a storyline and it is semi-interesting. And that's what makes this film adequate entertainment. Plus, as a side note, there is a Jim Wynorski in-joke that should amuse B-movie fans.

My score: 5 (out of 10)

A hard-nosed cop gets punished by being sent to a Hawaii police department. While there, a group of sorority sisters start being killed one by one, with the killer leaving what looks to be a term paper marked "Failed Examination" with the victim's name on it near the body. This seemed like a cool concept at first, until they dropped it after the second death. In a way, it reminded me of Identity where they were all being left the room keys in order of their death, which made it unique, but I guess the writers on this one couldn't find an interesting way to go with this, which is a shame.

Overall, not too bad a movie. Seemed like it borrowed from Scream a little bit. The T & A was nice, mostly quality, which many people look for in a film of this caliber. Amy Lindsay and Debbie Rochon were my favorite actresses in this movie. I give it a 6 of 10.

This movie was terrible. My friend works at a video store and decided on a whim to pick this up. He didn't know anything about the movie but he assured me that it was a horror/thriller. Well he was wrong and I will never let him live it down. I can't even talk about the plot because we stopped watching it 40 minutes in. It took about a half an hour for both of us to realize that this movie was soft core porn. I think the minute long shower scene in which the girl doesn't even use soap or shampoo gave it away. I can't really say anything more because I didn't watch the entire movie. 2/10

I don't know the last time I even thought about Skinemax films. Oh right, when I was a teenager. No acting ability, no plot, and female nudity showcased in the lamest most exploitive way. Don't even bother.