xXx 2: The Next Level

Notice how cool it has become to say "I want those two hours of my life back!!" after having seen a really bad movie? Well, only stupid people use that line. You know what you're going into, folks! If you really wanted those two hours (not to mention your money) back, might you not have shown a bit of critical sense before deciding to watch something you *knew* probably would have no redeeming values? Sigh. Well, your life, your problem.

xXx2 was not a great movie, nor even a good one, but I went into it with the expectations of something really terrible, and it wasn't that bad at all. It was pretty much as good as I could have dared hope for. A lot of people knock the original movie, but I think it's a cult classic, worthy of an 8 rating. I had no illusions that the sequel would touch that level, and indeed it did not. For one thing, Ice Cube is nowhere near as cool as Vin Diesel.

But the whole anti-authority thing saves it. I don't know about you, but I think it's a hoot to see a bunch of street-wise Black hustlers hijack a tank and blow the lid off the white house to save a President who's probably far more liberal than any president the U.S. has ever had. This is what art and entertainment is for, people. Progressive messages, to show us that a better way is possible. This movie had heart. And it had the only true kind of patriotism: the anti-fanatic kind.

And the action and SFX, while frequently silly, did what they were supposed to: entertain.

5 out of 10.

Unnecessary sequel about ex-Navy SEAL-turned-imprisoned convict Darius Stone (Cube)—court-martialed years earlier for attempting to overthrow a four-star general (Dafoe) during a black bag operation—who's recruited by NSA agent Jackson to become the new XXX and thwart that same general—now the Secretary of Defense with his own agenda. Obvious and by the numbers the film manages to throw out enough loud action scenes and cheesy one-liners to be some fun, but it's awfully derivative and fails to distinguish itself from the standard action genre. Works fine if you're just looking for a rush, and can accept a hackneyed plot with a cardboard Cube in the lead. **

Someone is targeting the old unit that Agent Augustus Gibbons used to belong to under the command of George Deckert, now Secretary for Defence. Half the unit are dead, Triple X agent Cage is dead and Gibbons' underground base has been infiltrated by a highly trained team from which he barely escaped. With his gadgets expert in tow, Gibbons turns to a new Triple X agent to help him fight this threat – former comrade and now life prisoner, Darius Stone. Busting Stone out of prison, Gibbons arms him and helps him start his new mission by uncovering hidden information; as the danger increases, so does the pace and all clues lead to something very sinister indeed.

The production company credits right at the start of the film proclaim this as an "Original Films Production", a claim that I thought highly ironic since it then plunges into a pre-credit sequence that is as genre-specific as they come, a title sequence that is a clear Bond rip off and a film that delivers nothing more than the genre basics. Taking the lead from the first film, the script kills off Xander Cage with barely a mention and moves on to the new agent. Discussion of the plot is pointless cause the whole affair is nonsense with logic holes so large that you could drive a souped up car through it. Those looking to this for a story that they can get into will be sorely disappointed as the film throws its energy into noise, explosions and typically OTT action scenes. To me and many viewers this will be just annoying hollow spectacle but to the target audience this is all they require and xXx2 does do it noisily enough to satisfy them.

The action is as stupid and illogical as the plot itself but it is noisy, stupid, big and bold and is enjoyable on that level; it is a shame that it lacks any actual tension or excitement but the noise will be enough for the target audience. At times it all gets a bit much and just looks plain silly but it never really stops moving that long so the next boom or bang is only ever minutes away, preventing you turning your brain on. The attempts at character and story are the worst – the moments with the girls really slows things down without adding even titillation value, while the potentially brave political stance made by the drawing of the president is just lost and wasted. Ice Cube picks up the mantle and delivers a one-note performance where he basically sneers his way across the screen; he lacks any sort of charisma here and could have been any old actor (something I think those hoping to make a franchise hope will be the case). Jackson is just collecting the cash so his bad performance can be ignored but Dafoe is a terrible bad guy considering he has done it well in other films. Xzibit doesn't do much but will draw humour from the MTV teenage audience thanks to his "Pimp my Ride" personae being called on. Mabrey and Gayle are basically just eye candy, with breasts squeezed and lifted in every scene – they can't act and don't have any chemistry with the basic Cube. The support cast do lots of running around with guns or diving away form bangs but nobody gets close to a performance.

Overall this is a noisy genre flick, nothing more and nothing less. Those claiming how awful it is forget that there are people who don't want art films, emotional films or engaging dramas, they just want to whoop and holler as things get blowing up in fancy-looking ways. For them, and them alone, this film will do the job as it provides effects, stunts and noise. However those looking for even the most basic characters, plot, tension, excitement or development will find themselves yawning through this noisy cross between a hip-hop video and a video game.

Not really good indeed, but if you let go (and the movie allows you to do this), you can have fun! Ice Cube took over from Vin Diesel (who decided not to participate here). The producers said, that "xxx" could be a series, where in every movie they'd make, someone else will be the lead! There were also rumours that if a third installment would be made, than a woman would play the main role. But unfortunately (or for some fortunately) the sequel didn't make enough money to justify another movie!

But back to this movie: I did rate this higher than the previous movie, because the action here is much better staged (imho). And that's all to it. It's not actually a better story (there is none as there was none in the first movie), it's just a ... no brainer! (and for some even a little bit of a guilty pleasure ... ;o)

"xXx2: The Next Level" (Revolution Studios and Columbia Pictures changed the subtitle from "State of the Union" for international territories, for obvious reasons) comes from the director of "Die Another Day," which was terrible; producer Neal H. Moritz, whose last credited project was the dire (and thankfully now-cancelled) "Point Pleasant"; is a sequel to the dreadful "xXx"; and comes equipped with Samuel L. Jackson's stated dislike of making movies with rappers. On this showing, you can't blame him.

Trading in Vin Diesel (his character is written out by someone saying that he got killed in Bora Bora) for Ice Cube is no improvement; not only is he not the most expressive actor, but he's not that convincing in action (when he's being chased by Scott Speedman you just KNOW that Speedman would catch him like that (snaps fingers) in real life). In fairness to Mr. Cube, he's far from the only thing wrong with this; Simon Kinberg's screenplay seems not only to have been aimed at emotionally and intellectually stunted 13-year-olds but written by them as well, with the plot starting idiotically and continuing from there - the villainous Secretary of Defence played by Willem Dafoe is so pantomime villainous that when he makes a speech to Jackson you're surprised he doesn't laugh maniacally.

Suspending disbelief is one thing, but when you have a movie that expects people to believe that tanks can be handled like motorbikes... and which works in such daft plot turns as characters having their deaths faked just so they can be around for the climax (why not just kill them there?)... and that has a finale which depends on a car and a Presidential bullet train being able to fit on the same track despite the car being a compact if speedy sports car... in this case it's just impossible. Admittedly it doesn't help that said scenes are incompetently executed thanks to shockingly bad special effects and shoddy direction; some of the miniatures are glaringly obvious, and I particularly hope that lead effects house Industrial Light and Magic didn't do the CGI bullet train shots. And as for the way some of the shots go from film to what looks like video and back again...

The cast isn't much good either, although it's fun to see Peter Strauss as the President (in spite or because of his not sounding like he believes a word of this); Xzibit not only helps parts of this seem like "Pimp My Ride: The Movie" but he can't act, Dafoe is Special Guest Villain level, and Jackson phones it in. As for the female characters, Nona Gaye and Sunny Mabrey are pretty much defined by their cleavage and by the fact that one's good and the other (the one who looks like a cross between Nicolette Sheridan and Rachel Bilson) isn't. (The movie can't even be laddish properly; for some reason the sexiest woman in the movie (Masuimi Max, who plays Xzibit's girlfriend and who helps out with the robbery of the artillery-carrying cheese truck) isn't listed in the credits.) And the tiresome, crowbarred-in rap numbers don't help, certainly not compared to Marco Beltrami's score. (Ironically, at one point on hearing the female string quartet Bond our hero complains about the music; they are not to blame for the aural wrongs.)

"xXx2: Whatever" is so unexciting and so absurd that despite its stabs at relevance (our hero claims Dafoe is hatching "World War IV"), the only way to get through it is as a laugher; the sight of Ice Cube in a suit and tie (with umbrella!) is funnier than his intentional attempt at comedy later in the same scene. To make it worse, the last scene leaves the door wide open for a third movie... if it does happen, why not cast Scarlett Johansson or Charlotte Church as the new Triple X? It's not like realism is a key factor here.