Ryan's Babe

The actors are forgettable, but oh my, the cars!

It seems they plumbed the depths of the Sascatchewan used car lots to find cars for Ryan. We have K-cars, J-cars, and worse. Usually movies outfit the leads with Lambos and Maseratis, but this movie goes with the unwashed Corsica with the crached-windshield motif. Is the writer trying to say that the characters are as broken and dull as the cars? Why doesn't the hottie get a better car than the rest? Does the director drive a Yugo? This movie raises more questions than it answers.

I tried watching this after reading some of the comments (my favourite: "I thought this picture was better than Casablanca, Citizen Kane, and Gone With The Wind all put together, to the power of seven billion").

Sorry. Much as I'd love to cheer on a movie from Saskatchewan, "Ryan's Babe" is utterly unwatchable. The performances, script, and inept direction would be enough to sink it. However, I must single out "composer" Ross Nykiforuk for special mention. His bizarre and relentless score ( and I mean relentless -- the awful music never lets up for a second) had me shaking my head in disbelief.

Oh, and what's with the credit "Directed by Ray Ramayya, PhD"? We're pleased that you successfully defended your thesis, Dr. Ray. Now put it to better use.

As you can tell from some of the other, obviously tongue in cheek reviews, people watch 'Ryan's Babe' as a kind of so-bad-it's-good, unintentional comedy. The film holds your interest, and on that level it is entirely enjoyable.

There's only one problem: we can't tell whether director Ray Ramayya is an idiot or a genius.

'Ryan's Babe' is a portrait of Ryan (Bill LeVasseur), who is handsome and attractive to women but otherwise a zero. 'Ryan's Babe' is a road film- but Ryan isn't going anywhere, and Ryan never does anything. Instead, things happen to him. His character and motives are nonexistent. When Ryan isn't kidnapped (which happens three times), he is captive to his utter lack of judgment. Ryan is neither to be liked nor disliked- he is totally null and void.

'Ryan's Babe' is the cinematic equivalent of a picaresque novel, a genre that follows the life of a low level criminal. These novels follow the character through a series of loosely connected episodes, but lack a conventional plot. In the world of film, 'Ryan's Babe' is in the same territory as Stanley Kubricks 'Barry Lyndon' and Rainer Werner Fassbinder's 'Querelle'.

So far so good. But intentionally or not, Ramayya filmed a movie about a man whose life is totally out of control in a style which is totally out of control. It's difficult to make a film about a bore which isn't boring, yet this film is enjoyable and the style genuinely innovative.

Ramayya juxtaposes action, dialog, sound, and expression in a way we have never seen before. Dialog is a series of non sequiturs, and the automated dialogue replacement is strangely dissonant. Foreshadowing leads nowhere, and there is a near total disconnect between events. Flashbacks within flashbacks recall 'Pulp fiction's' non-sequential editing.

Ryan's adventures are violent and entirely ludicrous, which only adds to the film. More than making any statement, Ramayya seems intent on creating his own reality (something John Waters did successfully in 'Dangerous living').

'Ryan's Babe' is a paradox. We can't tell if it's more in keeping with 'An Andalusian dog' or 'The room'- surrealism often verges on the ridiculous. Either way, David Lynch should take note.

It left my brain feeling like it had been drained of oxygen. I was bewildered, frustrated, and in pain. I highly recommend it if you hate yourself

I'd never heard of this film but stumbled upon references to it as "worst Canadian film ever made" (worse than "Things"?!?), comparing it to "The Room," etc., so I became curious. And indeed it is comparable to "The Room," in that it is one of those movies where you think "Did whoever who made this lack familiarity with...er, how human beings talk and think and act?" It has a similar sort of bizarre disconnectedness from reality that does not appear intentional, though at times there are indications the film isn't taking itself entirely seriously.

Rather than "The Room's" unknowingly strange take on soap-operatic domestic drama, this is more of a kind of exquisite-corpse narrative, with the college-student protagonist endlessly tumbling through one inexplicable left-field adventure after another, usually involving him getting abducted by strangers. Then he escapes, and unlike any normal person who'd go "Well I guess I should return to my normal life/home now," he shrugs "This place seems OK" and gets a job in an unfamiliar town...until he's abducted again, and escapes again somewhere else. These episodes often encompass a woman who becomes obsessed with him, but whom he must flee after a while. It makes zero sense that at the end he seems to have decided he's ready now to happily accept the love of the lying, obsessed childhood-acquaintance woman who started this chain of nonsensical events in the first place.

All this may sound like some kind of interestingly surreal, dream-like narrative. But for the most part the movie seems to have no idea what it's portraying is at all unrealistic. Some of the performers obviously realize they it is, as they occasionally appear embarrassed or flummoxed at how to play un-playable scenes in which characters go from zero to hysteria within seconds for no reason at all. Often "Ryan's Babe's" story seems propelled by little more than locations that were available, or that the director wanted to visit. (I think the geographical progress here goes from Saskatoon to the Grand Canyon.) There are entirely arbitrary bits like a strip-club sequence--you can imagine someone telling the filmmaker, "Hey, I know a guy who can dance while doing karate moves!," and his saying "That should be in my movie!," because why not.

Oddball as it is, "Ryan's Babe" isn't as entertaining as it sounds--unless you add some sort of drinking game, which would no doubt make it a riot--because the filmmaking has a sort of flavorless TV-level competence in technical terms. And also because it lacks a Tommy Wiseau--it's like "The Room" if Greg Sestero were the lead. This guy is also a perfectly decent, typically handsome actor trying to maintain his dignity in slightly abashed, faintly bemused fashion through a ridiculous script. If "Babe" had a personality at the center as singularly off-key as its writing, it would be a one-of-a-kind trainwreck like...well, you-know-what. But instead it's a very eccentric personal project whose weirdness is muffled just enough by the reasonably-professional presentation to be more fun in theory than it actually is to watch.