The Return of Dolemite

I've spent the past few months acquainting myself with the films of Rudy Ray Moore after I saw a clip from THE HUMAN TORNADO in a web article and found myself hooked. He's obviously very passionate about his work and he has a blast doing what he does, which makes it that much harder for me to say this about this movie: it was absolutely horrible. I mean, just terrible. THE DOLEMITE EXPLOSION, a return to his iconic character after almost 30 years, must have been a passion project for Moore. It was obviously done on a bare bones budget with friends filling in all the roles. It was shot on the cheapest video available and I'm pretty sure nearly all of the dialogue was redubbed in post-production, probably due to a lack of proper sound equipment during the shoot. I'm not trying to be mean; plenty of quality projects have been accomplished with minimal funding and a ragtag crew of filmmakers. THE DOLEMITE EXPLOSION just isn't one of them. The movie opens with Dolemite in Africa with his two sons…or so we're led to believe. We never actually see Africa. We're told he's in Africa and we see him answer a phone in an office loaded with tribal décor. Boom! Africa! He is contacted by his sister Jaz, who begs him to return to the U.S. Their town has become overrun with crime and the only man who can help return peace to the streets is the bad, bad Dolemite.

Right from the start, the first thing I noticed (aside from the cheap video) is the horrible sound dubbing and abundance of absurd sound effects. It's as if someone raided the Looney Tunes sound library and used it to fill in for the sound of punching when Dolemite fights. The movie is so amateur and poorly done that it's almost impossible to watch. After all his years in the industry and with all the friends he's made, Moore had to have known enough people to get a real movie done right. For example, there's a scene in the beginning of the movie that is supposed to help establish how out of control the crime scene has become: a shooting in a nightclub. Unfortunately, the nightclub looks like an empty warehouse with some minor set dressing and there are all of about 10-15 people "dancing". The performances in the movie are at their absolute worst. I know Moore's movies have never been known for their award-worthy performances, but the people in this movie aren't even trying. There is a scene where a drive-by shooting occurs at a basketball court and the kids playing can't be bothered to panic. When the bullets fly, they each calmly lie down on the ground. You want a powerful performance? Fast-forward to Dolemite's chauffeur Angela begging Lieutenant Blakely for help when Dolemite's kidnapped. Either she's having trouble reading a cue card or she's too stoned to remember her two measly lines of dialogue.

Then there's the fact that so little of this movie makes any real sense. Dolemite returns from his time in Africa with superpowers that he gains from something called Voodoo Juice. It gives him the power to shoot lightning, stop time, and pretty much anything else the plot calls for. And then there's Lieutenant Blakely (Jerry Jones, reprising his role). When we first see him, he's dressed as a homeless man and wandering through an alley. He finds another group of apparently homeless men, steals their radio, and opens fire on them when they attempt to get it back, killing one of them. Also, for the record, Blakely is a horrible shot. He goes throw more than a dozen rounds when he retaliates against these music-loving hobos and only hits someone once (though it is a kill-shot). While I'm on the subject, Moore, Jones, and Jimmy Lynch are too old for action at this point…both the violent and "gettin' freaky" varieties. There are points when THE DOLEMITE EXPLOSION feels like an amateur porn without the porn, whether it be when Dolemite cartoonishly humps two random women through their pants on the side of the road (giving us a wide view of his 70-year-old butt) or when he's rocking the world of a masseuse with terrifying implant scars. These men are just too old to be bad. And they know it too, with obvious stunt doubles taking over in every fight scene when they're required to do more than throw a gut punch.

If there's one thing Moore and his crew have learned after 30 years of making films, it sure wasn't story structure. THE DOLEMITE EXPLOSION is just as discombobulated as any of his previous films. The movie's villain, Almo Green (Lynch) could have easily ended the movie in the first 30 minutes and spared us a lot of pain if he had just killed Dolemite when he was presented with 100 chances to do just that. Instead the movie plows on and we arrive at the big confrontation 50 minutes in: a big street fight overseen by an MC who doesn't appear to be talking to anyone in particular via a microphone that doesn't appear to be plugged into anything. You'd think that would be the big finale, but no. There's still 20 more minutes of nonsense to go. And there is no closure whatsoever…the movie builds up to some weird battle in the park where Moore busts out with his trademark "martial arts" against some man named Black Chin Ho before cutting to the credits mid-scream. Maybe Moore should've kept this movie as a personal item to share amongst friends rather than share it with the public because now the Dolemite saga ends with a shoddy, amateur home movie. As much as I'm sure it doesn't sound like it, I mean it with the utmost respect to Moore's legacy. Regardless of THE DOLEMITE EXPLOSION, Rudy Ray Moore was a legend. R.I.P. Dolemite.

Dolemite and Human Tornado are two movies that I truly love. Both were comedies and, even though they had minuscule budgets and were often poorly acted, you could tell that they were true labors of love.

I can't say the same for Dolemite Explosion. Moore and John Jerry were just too old for these roles as quasi action stars after 27 years away from the game. They just looked perpetually out of place and not up to the task. RRM's earlier Dolemite films were often a bit baffling, but I enjoyed going on for the ride. Here, the stale writing very little of Dolemite's signature rhyming) and just zero development of story and characters just left me sad and going off to watch the original to cleanse my palette.

The Return of Dolemite had a regular, held-over theatrical run in New Orleans in May of 2002. Definitely not a straight to video title, but could have been as this film appealed to only the most ardent Rudy Ray Moore fans. Ultralow budget production finds Dolemite returning to save a decaying neighborhood. Moore's humor, sometimes self-deprecating here, is in good form. An oddity... not particularly good, but fans should appreciate the effort.

The Dolemite Explosion (2002)

** (out of 4)

Thugs are taking over the streets and good innocent black people are having their lives ruined by them. Dolemite (Rudy Ray Moore) decides to head home from Africa and he's going to take down these thugs and their leader. What these bad guys don't know is that they're also messing with a Dolemite who has special powers.

DOLEMITE and THE HUMAN TORNADO were two landmark blaxploitation movies because they pretty much did whatever it took to make their presence known. If you've seen the films then you know Rudy Ray Moore was unlike any other actor out there at the time and his power certainly made those films what they were. THE DOLEMITE EXPLOSION came twenty-six years after the last film and there's no question that it's hampered with an extremely low-budget but at the same time it's fun for what it is.

Again, one needs to be prepared that this is a very low-budget movie. With that said, what made the first two films so much fun was their crazy nature and that's certainly on display here. This Dolemite has a special power that allows him to shoot out lightening at people as well as other special powers. These scenes are certainly weird but hey, it's Dolemite! There are also some rather campy moments including one scene where we see Moore's old ass pounding two different women in a van. Of course, the women are full clothed and this here is just downright hilarious in its own way.

As far as the story goes, obviously there's a message being displayed here and it's a pretty good one. The film's low-budget prevents it from being able to do more and there are some really silly shoot-outs that are poorly staged and executed. There are other issues in the film but at the end of the day it's fun seeing Moore back in action even if he's too old. Still, there's some fun that the film has with that including the obvious body doubles but if you enjoy the actor and his character then THE DOLEMITE EXPLOSION is worth checking out.

Needless to say that I had of course never even heard about this 2002 movie titled "The Return of Dolemite", though it was released as "The Dolemite Explosion" on the version I got. Regardless, since it was a movie that I had never seen, nor heard about, of course I opted to watch it and give it a fair chance.

But talk about a crash and burn of a movie. This was such as massive swing and a miss from writers Jerry Jones and Rudy Ray Moore. It utterly and completely failed to entertain me. And when I reached the scene where some guy was standing and wiggling his behind, well that was just the drop that made the glass spill over, and I had to turn off the movie. It was pure and utter rubbish from the very beginning.

Of course I was not familiar with a single actor or actress on the cast list. While I didn't care one bit about the characters, I will say that the acting performances were adequate, though nothing outstanding.

This movie is not one that I will ever return to attempt finish watching.

My rating of director Frank Pinnock's 2002 movie "The Return of Dolemite" lands on a generous one out of ten stars.