Project Viper

An outspoken security agent(Patrick Muldoon)is forced to team with a sexy NASA scientist(Theresa Russell)to capture a murderous creature on the loose. The snail-like creature was created from a fusion of human DNA and computer chips and seems to have a hunger for human flesh. This sci fi pictures orignal also stars Tim Thomerson, Billy Kean and Curtis Armstrong. I expected stronger and more interesting F/X. Pace of the story line is sustained by suspense. Recommended viewing. Catch it on the Sci-Fi Network.

I don't remember much of this movie, since I was watching it on vacation in Greece at like 3:00 in the morning. The fact that I couldn't bring myself to finish it even though it was the only English-language program on should tell you a lot right there. I do remember a lot of shockingly bad camera-work, editing, and acting... camera-work especially. It honestly looks like they gave the camera to a 6 year old and told him to follow the adults around. I remember in particular a chase scene through a hallway where the camera-work is so bad the characters aren't even in the frame half the time (this same chase scene, incidentally, is a good example of the awfulness of the plot, since it's started when a lady walks right up in plain view of a guy she's trying to spy on, then defends herself by saying she was "going for a walk." Hmm, yeah, I spend a lot of time going for walks in my living room too).

If the choreography isn't bad enough for you, there's also the lighting coming from bizarre angles in places where there shouldn't be any light, the cartoon CGI tentacles that pass for a monster, etc. As a movie, it's really boring, but it's a great example of not NOT to direct. If you are an aspiring director and want to improve, my advice is watch this movie. You could sit there for hours and take notes of what the director is doing wrong.

You could use the same technique to brush up on your acting skills. The actors here are vomit-inducingly awful. All of them just seem bored (understandably), even when something bad is supposedly happening to them, like tentacles going into their mouths and coming out their stomachs (by the way, user Billy Lovelady's comment about "tentacle hentai" is one of the funniest things I've ever read. Thank you, sir). Some of them are also plain weird, like the crazy hick neighbor and the sheriff who looks like Freddie Mercury at age 70.

Unless you're using this for study as I've suggested, avoid it at all costs. It's mindless and boring. There are millions of better things to do than watch this movie, such as looking out the window, which is what I did for the next hour after I turned it off. It was a hell of a lot more productive than waiting to see who killed the Viper.

Viper is a man-made monster bred by some evil government agency, which is engaged in sinister covert operations etc., etc., you know the drill. Needless to say, the creature gets loose and starts feeding on people, starting with the ones who have few or no speaking lines, later going after credited cast members.

Patrick Muldoon as a government cop who beats up a lot of dudes, is one of the most annoying actors I've ever seen. I was rooting for Viper to hunt him down and shut him up. A scientist, played by pretty Teresa Russel, tries to help the obnoxious cop catch the thing before it eats everybody. She at least tries to act, but her lines are scatterbrained and more like a teen in a zombie flick, rather than a scientist.

The plot is deranged. The actions of the creature follow no consistent pattern; it does what is needed in any given situation. Sometimes it oozes on to its victim, killing slowly and discreetly, other times it smashes things down to get to its prey. Sometimes it chases people, other times it magically appears out of the ground and seizes them. Sometimes it's looking for water to survive, other times it's trying to sniff out radiation for its sustenance. Sometimes bullets hurt it, some time they don't. Some times it feels like a nut, sometimes it don't.

Corny and ridiculous from end to end, but possessing a so-bad-it's-good personality. It actually is an OK watch, just for the non-stop goofiness and action.

A DoD special agent is sent to investigate the failure of a space-shuttle just above earth. What seems to have killed the astronauts is a creature specially designed on Earth to perform terra-forming on Mars. Of course, as you already suspects, the creature doesn't just create vegetation in order to produce oxygen, it also has some nasty homicidal tendencies. Actually, it feeds on humans. So our special agent goes to meet the scientists who've created the monster to figure out a way to kill it. Again we don't have a full-on military strike, just one law-enforcement agent and a couple of scientists hunting what seems more dangerous than the T-Rex. Yeah, right. The creature settles in a small town in Illinois, where everyone is dropping dead from cancer, which is caused by their uranium-contaminated water purification system (the main water pump is in an old uranium mine, and nobody suspects anything in this town, although they had 38 deaths in 7 years, and over two thirds of the population suffering some form of cancer... another priceless thing in this movie). We also have a "traitor" in the team (it's an inside job, as they say). And yada yada, so on and so on. It's boring as hell, and you could really live better without watching this.

What makes this movie worth watching is Theresa Russell. She does her acting job as usual. But this time, she looks really sexy. I'm telling you, it doesn't matter that she's old. She is a real MILF. And she will certainly lead you through the movie, without switching it off.

This is the same old story about an alien being taking over the earth.

I see this type of stuff each week on the X-Files done much better. Without telling any details for those who want to see it, there is nothing original about this. The CGI work to create the monster was the worst that I have ever seen. Patrick Muldoon who was the male star was possibly the worst actor that I have ever seen. I watched it because of the reputation of Theresa Russell but she looked lost in a very stupid movie. I watched it on the Sci-Fi Channel which had more commericials ever and lots of bleeps. This movie might have been passible as a late night movie on tape or dvd but not with edits, cuts and commercials.