The Long Island Cannibal Massacre

The second flick by no-budget horror gorehound Nathan Schiff. Shot on a super 8 and oftentimes you can hear the camera rolling through the scenes. The acting is below subpar, the plot is ridiculously bad, and the camera-work sloppy. But the gore is what you watch when you decide to sit down to a Nathan Schiff film. What he lacks in terms of money and casting, he majors in giving you the violent gore you so deserve.

And really that's about the only reason you'd ever sit down to watch this. B/c you're a sick depraved bastard who can't get enough of animal intestines being ripped out of a young girl's body and chainsaws ripping through deranged psychos' chests. Yum.

In the late 70's, Nathan Schiff brought us an unbelievably bad, unintentional parody of z-grade garbage, Weasels Rip My Flesh. Some years later, this guy brought us a film I hope I never see, They Don't Cut The Grass Anymore. Somewhere between the Weasel movie, and the one about the cutting of the grass, Schiff, with his lack of everything, unleashed this embarrassment of a homage, yet another unintentional parody, this time, of the gore genre. Fake-looking now has a whole new meaning, thank's to Long Island Cannibal Massacre! Another Schiff home movie, appearing to be after a grade, as opposed of a profit, which only tells me this garbage doesn't even count... I don't know, I guess there's a story, record-breakingly unrealistic killings performed by a couple dudes, one of which wears a pillowcase on his head, who have some kind of a deal going with Mr. Mustache, from the Weasel movie. Anyway, the cops don't know what to do, and incoherent conversation after dismal gore effect after painfully pointless scene. Everyone has their limits, and I draw the line with Schiff. I don't know what it is, there's just something about the "work" of Nathan Schiff that gets under my skin, I mean, other than the fact that it's boring, and gives low-budget cinema a bad name. It's certainly not the fact that it was shot on video, I'm down with the super-8... I think it's that mustache guy, I don't like that guy! Don't get me wrong, I probably couldn't have done any better than this, but then again, I've never tried, and I would imagine it wouldn't require film school to do so. If you dig the Z-grade, do yourself a favor and check out something by Tim Ritter, or even Ray Dennis Steckler. So, just turn around, walk away, and forget about Long Island. The gore is much nicer in Florida. 1/10

Nathan Schiff, along with his friends, made 4 no-budget underground gore films ranging from the late 70's to the early 90's...this being his second film. Shot on Super 8 with virtually no budget, even the music is borrowed from other films(through out the movie you'll hear music from the original Night of the Living Dead).

I find it amusing that people watch movies with titles like Long Island Cannibal Massacre, Weasels Rip My Flesh, They Don't Cut The Grass Anymore and then complain about the acting and plot(or lack there of) Seriously, why are you watching these kind of movies if that's what you're looking for? Nathan Schiff himself said that if he had had more money and better actors he wouldn't be making these kind of movies. I knew going into this that it was extremely low budget, and the point was to show gore...so I wasn't disappointed.

Cannibal Massacre is probably Schiff's best example of gore..some of the scenes are actually impressive...for instance there is a scene where a woman is disemboweled....all these scenes are shot at extreme close ups, and they linger there...and when the killer is pulling out her intestines(all the intestines used in Cannibal Massacre were real animal intestines acquired from butchers)it is quite effective and believable...another great example of well done gore effects is the chainsaw scene....(like another commenter said) the chainsaw scene was real and was very close to the actor's face...on the DVD Schiff said the only things separating the chainsaw blade and the actor was animal meat, and a kevlar vest.

The DVD release contains some interesting contents- interviews with Nathan Schiff, and two of his long time friends who have acted in his movies...also a full running commentary that I found entertaining because Schiff sounds like Jon Lovitz...I kept waiting for him to say- "That's the ticket"

If you're a fan HG Lewis, Frank Hennenlotter, Tim Ritter, Troma films then you should give Schiff a try...

I don't even know how to comment on this one. LONG ISLAND CANNIBAL MASSACRE is supposed to be awful since it's low budget horror. But the acting in this film is worst than anything I have ever seen. As a result, most of the scenes are unbearable and it is not a very fun movie to watch - even if it is a horror. Nonetheless, if you are able to make it to the end of this film without fast-forwarding, you are in for quite a treat. I'm not to going to give away any spoilers but the conclusion of LICM makes it worth the viewing. I also suggest you check on the special features on your DVD. Director Nathan Schiff clearly thinks he's Jean Luc Godard.

Either way, as a filmmaker myself, I have a huge amount of respect for Schiff and his feature film. As a high schooler, he managed to make what some might consider a cult classic. Good for him. But, make sure you're ready.

After seeing Nathan Schiff's "They Don't Cut The Grass Anymore" I was looking forward to seeing this, but alas, it has none of the energy or gore of that film. The only bit I really enjoyed was at the end, when there is a chainsaw fight and then a group of girls start munching on some intestines. I actually had to watch Long Island Cannibal Massacre over the space of two nights because it was rather boring for the most part. Still, I do respect Nathan Schiff because this is so obviously a no-budget film and was never intended to be released properly.

In comparison, They Don't Cut The Grass Anymore is hilariously entertaining and has tons more gore than Long Island Cannibal Massacre. I would recommend watching that over this any day.