Evil Alien Conquerors

If you're not into movies that are so stupid, they're funny... don't watch this movie. It's strictly for those, who enjoy a good no brainer film once in a while. OR die hard fans of this sort of comedy. Now, when I say stupid, I mean this with the utmost respect. The more I watch this movie, the more I like it and I REALLY liked it the first time. Helps that I'm a big huge fan of Diedrich Bader.

I'm not going to go into detail about the movie, simply because it needs to be seen to be appreciated. Remember, don't expect Oscar winning performances from anyone, just enjoy it for what it is. A good, stupid movie. Otherwise, you will die in agony. You will die begging for mercy and they will gladly provide it. Evil Alien Conquerors, THEY RULE!

Du-ug and My-ik come to earth with their swords to cut off the heads of every person on earth... in less than three days.

My-ik: Not a problem!

In attempting to do their job, they have to deal with cows, alcohol, unibrows and other problems they didn't expect.

My-ik: Not a problem!

I found this movie surprisingly funny. I hesitated to watch it at first, but as it featured Diedrich Bader, I gave it a chance and I'm glad I did.

The writer/director, Chris Matheson, wrote both Bill & Ted movies and he again managed to take what seemed like a weak premise and managed to make movies that still would be funny after repeated viewings. Matheson wisely let the actors and story speak for themselves rather than pad the movie with exploitive nudity or needless profanity.

The cast ranged from serviceable to good. I was particularly impressed with the actor who played Croker, who had to deliver all his lines at the top of his lungs. I would have liked to seen more of Michael McShane, Rabirr, who was so funny on his stint on the British version of "Who's Line Is It Anyway?"

I recently saw this film at a Northwest Film Center presentation, and it was SHEER BRILLIANCE. I admit, I did not enjoy myself the whole way through (some jokes were a bit overdone) but I must admit, a good portion of the movie was goddamn hilarious just from the simplicity of it all. My personal favorite was the constant agonizing over nudies (they had... NUDIES!) or the crazed devotion to Smirnoff Ice.

If you're in the dark as to the plot, the basic storyline is that two alien warriors (Evil Alien Conquerors, in fact) are sent to Earth to behead the entire human race. They can blend in easily because their race is completely identical to the humans (some would say that this is a low budget technique to save money on costumes) and the beheading won't be that hard because the two conquerors have giant swords. But when they get to Earth they figure out that they only have two and a half days to behead all of humanity, and their swords have become tiny. Oh, and we can't forget that if every human isn't beheaded within two and a half days a giant will be sent to eat the failed conquerors, and then behead mankind himself.

This movie feels like a sketch turned into a feature film, and compared to the various times that has been actually been done (ie: every SNL movie) it compares favorably. It does not quite have enough to sustain a film, and every joke gets hammered into the ground, but most of them hold up better than one would expect. For all its repetition it is anything but formulaic, and many things that should not work work through sheer earnestness, originality, and a skill for clever variations. It is one of the few films I have ever seen where the gimmick of it being ultra-low budget was fairly consistently charming rather than just a matter of necessity. In terms of laughs per-dollar spent it is actually pretty damned effective.

It's really stupid, but everyone involved commits so hard to the stupidity that it occasionally becomes weirdly inspired. Objectively I'd put it somewhere in the four or five star range as a work of film, but it gets a couple extra stars for being memorable, original, unique, and generally endearing.

...but I can't. It's hilarious. It's stupid. It's disgusting. It's a guilty pleasure. I have seen many stupid movies, but wow, this was stupid. But I loved it, even if I try to hide it. It takes place when 2 aliens are sent to Earth to behead every human beings. The ways they try to behead all humans are hysterical, and the aliens IQ is not very good... And the fact that their swords shrunk to the size of an ant. They try to fulfill their mission before the mighty Croker comes to Earth to kill them, and all that stuff. Croker yelling all this stupid stuff is great, Kenny is hilarious, and My-ik and Du-ug's addiction to Smirnoff Ice is great. Could of gone without the women with hairy feet and unibrows, but it all adds up to be a pretty hysterical film. Croker is really the comic relief of the film. Throw in some irrogent cows, some nudies, some roommates who like to have sex, and a strange exercise machine, you got yourself one fun ride that is so funny you'd hate to admit you love it. But admit it, it is the first step of realizing you have a racism movie problem. NUDIES!