Deep Freeze

Really bad... Like a High School production. I have to leave a longer note, or it won't record my comment, but I really don't want to think about this movie any longer.

Well, granted my expectations for the 2002 movie "Deep Freeze" weren't particularly high when I happened to find the movie in 2020. I had never heard of the movie, nor of the people on the cast list.

But still, if I haven't seen a movie and I am given the chance, and the movie seems like it might have potential, then I will sit down to watch it. So I did with "Deep Freeze" from director John Carl Buechler.

Turns out that this was an action horror movie that felt like something left over from the late 1990s - it had that particular feel to it, for better or worse.

"Deep Freeze" wasn't a particularly impressive movie. Sure, it was watchable, but it was by no means an outstanding or overly entertaining movie. It was generic and predictable, and the creature design was dubious and questionable at best.

The acting in the movie was as to be expected for a movie such as this.

My rating of "Deep Freeze" is a mere four out of ten stars. Hardly a movie that you should rush out to watch, nor a movie that you should put at the top of your to-watch-pile of movies.

I thought this would be a low budget but perhaps passable 1h20 mins. How wrong I was. So much talking about nothing to fill time and a few shots of a big woodlouse. I kid you not. I like bad movies but this was awful x 100. Watch The Thing. Either the original or the prequel.. Don't be fooled by the movie synopsis or cover art. This is baaaaaad. And cheap. And I so wanted just to see a bad movie tonight not a horrificly awful one.

German actors were being forced on Hollywood B productions end of 90s and early 2000s, German language is used in this for no reason cause Germans have some great desire to share their language with the world the so called actors look like total amateurs, don't have the looks, have zero talent, but everyone acts horribly here, the tall german actor everytime he opens his neanderthal mouth sounds so scripted and fake it's most heinous, totally unwatchable. There is zero effort by all actors involved but the german crew filming this didn't see any issues while filming. Tjis is proof Europeans should be forced to leave movie making be alltogether! Yuck.

Early on, one of the regular crewmen of the drilling facility comments on how surprisingly young the recently-arrived workers are.

One replies that the worker isn't that young himself. As opposed to being "that old" himself which would make sense in the context of the previous sentence. Great coherency there.

Later, after disregarding the possibility of killer trilobites on the station, that same girl suggests some DNA sample was from "a pre- millipede or a trilobite or something". Perhaps there was no script, at least not a script containing actual dialogue, and the actors ad-libbed but couldn't hear each other clearly.

The lead man meanwhile has history in oil drilling. This trait is so poorly established it seems he's getting into the spirit of oil drilling (his work colleagues consist of older men)and nothing more.

Everything that happens gives the feel the story happens over a few days minimum, yet supposedly happened within hours. The main characters, newly arrived on a long flight, at no point even appear tired. Yeah, "Deep Freeze" shouldn't be watched by those who value coherency...

Not much gore either because when attacked, victims' lives apparently flash before their eyes although no new footage was shot meaning it consists of flashes of previous scenes.

The scariest part? Most horror films focusing on oil workers are actually worse!