Xuxa

Is 'Barney' Too Challenging? Are you confused by the 'Teletubbies?' Is following the plot to 'Barney' too challenging? Then you'll love 'Xuxa.' This has to go down as one of the most FUBAR shows ever, which is why it works. It embraces the nuttiness of having a dumb blonde bombshell who can't even say her lines host a kids show, and runs with it.

Xuxa was a big hit down south in Brazil. She was such a big hit that they brought her show all the way to America to compete for the audience of 'Barney.' Not joking! After the 'Barney' phenomenon Xuxa was called up north as a fierce competitor.

As we all know ANY show, movie, music, or any form of recorded media, south of the boarder just doesn't translate well up here. We don't get their type of entertainment and we don't like it.

Well a hot blonde prancing around stage is very sexy costumes translates anywhere.

I remember the controversy and jokes about Xuxa coming to America in English in 1993 and just had to see for myself.

The show's premise really is silly. It's the first kids show I've seen devoid of any shred of educational or moral value.

The 30 minutes is spent with a crowd kids singing and dancing. They play messy 'Double Dare' style games so simple they're devoid of any challenge or imagination.

There are some guests, mostly singers and gymnasts, who just like Xuxa can't speak English to save their lives. The show closes with Xuxa putting on lipstick to give one lucky kid a kiss.

The most pathetic and amusing aspect is Xuxa's lack of English. She tries and tries but it always comes out wrong. Although this adds to her sexiness. She's a dumb blonde who can't speak English. The girl of all our dreams! Somehow I suspect that Xuxa's high ratings were due to the fact that her real fans were all over the age of 13.

Some might even remember Xuxa was parodied on 'Married With Children' when after Kelly Bundy takes over as hostess of a kids show, 'Kelly's Castle,' its ratings go through the roof with adult males.

I only have one thing to say about Xuxa posing for 'Playboy.' WHERE CAN I FIND THOSE PICTURES?!!!

Xuxa was a Latin children's show host who had a successful show in Brazil, so they decided to try to make an American version. The show would start out with kids chanting her name and holding flags from around the world. There would be an explosion and a globe will open from which she would emerge. She would then go into her signature song (all of the songs she sang sounded like they were just translated from their original form, rather than making up new ones). There would also be games that kids would play for prizes. Xuxa also made it educational with her Ask Xuxa segment. Special guests would pop up as well. There were many problems that plagued this show: Xuxa looked annoyed by some of the kids, her English wasn't too hot, and she had posed nude in the past (That was the ultimate double whammy that ended her career in the States). The show only lasted one season, and reruns were shown on the Family Channel. They even marketed Xuxa stuff to kids like dolls, shoes and games. She never caught on (rumor has it MGM wants her to try again). I thought she was okay and the show had some kind of cheese quality. Where else could you find a sexy woman wearing hotpants, men dressed up as scary looking pandas, and demonic toy solders LOL?

I was working on something late one night and left the TV going for a little distraction. The night eventually gave way to the dawn and as the sun was just appearing over the hills, so too did a li'l show appear on my 13 inch TV screen. A program I had never heard of starring a tall, bleached blonde south American girl who called herself simply, "Xuxa". Boy, am I lucky I didn't have a remote to turn that channel because the more I watched this unbelievable show, the more hilarious it got.

The twenty-something Xuxa had hosted a similar version of this kid show for Brazillian TV and some wizard in syndication (Mary Tyler Moore's company was the program's unlikely distributor) bought it for broadcast in north America. The first thing that jumps out at any casual reader of her bio is the fact that Xuxa once posed for Playboy magazine. Certainly a surprising credit to find on the resume of a host of a kiddie show.

Anyways, each episode would begin with a replica of the Earth literally opening up like a cracked egg shell to reveal Xuxa. Some times dressed in hot pants or a miniskirt, Xuxa would walk down a runway to be greeted by throngs of children cheering in celebration of her arrival. Joining Xuxa were four young girls also dressed in hot pants and drum majorette uniforms. These barely legal looking teens would assist Xuxa in organizing games and contests with the kids in the studio. This majorette posse's other purpose was to keep an eye out for kids who didn't seem deliriously happy enough to see Xuxa. Any kid who appeared to be just standing there was instantly engaged by one of the girls who would urge the youngster to cheer more enthusiastically, or more energetically wave their sparkly "XUXA" banner (no doubt provided to them by the show).

The regular cast included two men made up to look like a teddie bear and a jaguar. Jammie the jaguar man, complete with long tail, was especially creepy looking but he sure was good at doing back flips during the opening number.

Every show featured a competition for some of the in-studio assemblage of children. The games usually had to do with making a mess of the place using silly string or eating pies, etc. When the game was over, Xuxa would assure the defeated ones, "it's OK, you get prize, too". One of the funniest things about "Xuxa" was the star's less than commanding grasp of the English language. For example her penchant for referring to the U.S.A. as the united "estates." It was so obvious how much she struggled with it that they often sang a song that included the lyrics "I'm trying my best...to speak in English". The opening theme song was comprised mostly of,

"Hello! Hello! Hello!

Hello! Hello! Hello!

It's Time For Xuxa And her Friends!"

During one particularly memorable number the children had been supplied with bags of confetti and were supposed to throw it in the air while the host sang. Well, you know kids, so as Xuxa walked about singing her song, the little fans were throwing confetti not just into the air, but directly at Xuxa. As I laughed till I just about bled, one closeup revealed Xuxa in this blizzard of paper spitting chunks of wet confetti out of her mouth.

At the end of the show, Xuxa would apply lipstick to her mouth and then choose one child to kiss on the cheek leaving ruby red, non-smearing evidence that the kid had found favour in Xuxa's eyes. Little wonder when she'd announce it was time to give someone her kiss that the boys who were closest to puberty would buzz around her imploring "pick me, Xuxa! Pick me!"

Xuxa would usually go to commercial with the promise, "we'll be back with more things just for you!", but unfortunately after that single, shining season, I never did see Xuxa come back with more things. I guess a show like this was too unintentionally funny to last any longer than it did. I have no idea what kids of the day thought of "Xuxa", but if you were an adult at that time, you were witness to one of the most bizarrely entertaining programs in the history of television.

South American superstar Xuxa tried to get into the US market with this english version of her hit show in Brazil and Argentina. The set was one of the most colorful I've ever seen on a kid tv show and the kids would play games against each other in "Double Dare" type fashion. She recieved a lot of controversy in the US because in her early years she posed for playboy and the tight clothes she would wear. Because of her trouble pronouncing english and low ratings the show lasted only 2 years (75 episodes), but was very entertaining when on tv

OK, a few things. Everybody talks about Playboy and yes, she did pose. So what. Her Playboy pictures are beautiful. SHE'S beautiful, in or out of clothes. Besides, anybody with children of her own has had full-on sex, and we don't ban parents from hosting kids' shows. Yeah, her English could've been better. Then again, some characters marketed to children don't speak at all, or speak in beeps and squawks. You try to learn a language in less than a year and host a TV show. Finally, let's not forget that this woman's show was a hit in multiple countries simultaneously and that she has had a lot of hit songs, Ilarié having charted in six nations and reaching #1 in four. Finally, she is the one person most responsible for bringing universal immunization to the children of Brazil.

Sorry if I come across as defensive, but a lot of the reviews here seem to have no respect for this wonderful human being.