- Sally Weston: Donna, did I ever tell you about a nasty habit that flight attendants pick up on the job?
- Donna Jensen: No.
- Sally Weston: We learn to always keep smiling, even when we're out of Bloody Mary mix.
- Co-Pilot Steve: You're a pro. You're going places.
- Donna Jensen: Ya think?
- Co-Pilot Steve: I'm a pilot. It's my job to know where people are going.
- [Addressing the passengers]
- Sally Weston: Welcome to New York, where the local time is 7:13 a.m. I'd like to personally thank you for flying with us today, and to remind you that the last one off the plane has to clean it.
- Donna Jensen: I just worry if I really fall in love with Ted, what's going to happen to everything I've worked so hard for?
- Randy: OK, fine, don't fall in love with him.
- Donna Jensen: That's kinda where I'm having the problem.
- Randy: It just takes willpower, is all. I mean, you didn't fall in love with me, did you?
- Donna Jensen: You're gay.
- Randy: But, it still took willpower, didn't it?
- Sally Weston: Paris, First Class, International. Donna, say it.
- Donna Jensen: Paris, First Class, International.
- Sally Weston: It's the only road to happiness.
- Donna Jensen: Paris, First Class, International.
- Sally Weston: It's your destiny.
- Christine: Did you hear the bad news?
- Donna Jensen: What?
- Christine: I got fired. Busted for stealing.
- Donna Jensen: Yeah.
- Christine: So I just wanted to come here and say goodbye.
- Christine: Donna. You know, isn't it amazing, how there was a ghost rider on my flight?
- Donna Jensen: Well...
- Christine: And another thing. I just can't help wondering. How does someone go from Royalty Express to lnternational in such a short period of time?
- Donna Jensen: Excuse me, Christine.
- Christine: I had you figured out from day one, Donna.
- Donna Jensen: What did you say?
- Christine: You just couldn't stand the fact that I was prettier than you. That I was more fun than you. That everyone loved me.
- Donna Jensen: All I did was try to help you out. And you stabbed me in the back.
- Christine: I never stabbed you in the back, Donna.
- Donna Jensen: You switched our exams.
- Christine: Well, if you're gonna nitpick.
- Donna Jensen: And you left me rotting in Cleveland while you went and dotted your l's with those tacky, little hearts in New York City. Someone had to put you in your place.
- Christine: Little miss perfect.
- Donna Jensen: You're breaking up with me, in a birthday card? Why?
- Tommy Boulay: Because they don't make breaking-up cards?
- [Donna and Christine are filling out job application forms]
- Donna Jensen: Oh, my God. Do you dot your "i"'s with little hearts? That's so cute.
- Christine: Yeah, well, it's my trademark. That and my hickeys.
- Donna Jensen: [after getting dumped, narrating:] I left my job at Big Lot, and thought about becoming an alcoholic. Just kidding.
- Donna Jensen: Captain, we are...
- [pilot's asleep before takeoff]
- Donna Jensen: Captain? Is he all right?
- Co-Pilot Steve: Don't worry about him.
- [Donna frowns]
- Co-Pilot Steve: He'll be fine. I'll poke him with a stick
- [loud snores from pilot]
- Co-Pilot Steve: and he'll get at it. If not, I'll give him his blanky, and... take matters into my own hands.
- [warm, charming smile]
- Co-Pilot Steve: Steve. Steve Bench.
- [they shake hands]
- Co-Pilot Steve: Call me Co-Pilot Steve.
- Donna Jensen: I'm Donna. I'm a trainee.
- Co-Pilot Steve: [nods] You nervous, Donna?
- Donna Jensen: [as Captain snores] Nah! Well... a little bit.
- Co-Pilot Steve: Well, don't worry. I've had only two near misses, and a couple of minor crashes, but I chalk it up to experience and I'm feeling better about it.
- [nods]
- Co-Pilot Steve: I'm joking.
- Donna Jensen: [from aghast to relieved] Ah, I knew that.
- [smiles]
- Co-Pilot Steve: If there's anything I can do for you, I mean anything, you come up here... Okay?
- [Captain's snoring continues]