The Elite

Incoherent from the very beginning, I felt as if I was watching something computer generated, not unlike the Cox Cable commercials starring the exceptionally hideous "Digital Max." Imagine my surprise when I came to IMDb and saw an actual cast listing.

Needless to say, I didn't get far, but I did see enough to realize that the movie could possibly serve a higher purpose - as a tool for court-ordered evaluations in competency hearings. If a person can sit through this film, a guardian should absolutely be appointed to make all important decisions for the individual in question.

And be forewarned, there have been no scientific studies: it's just possible that someone in full command of his faculties might begin watching, and in the course of the experience, become impaired.

This grade-B flick is actually a cut above your typical made-for-cable fare, notably because there is a semblance of plot to add to the by-the-numbers action sequences. A young "elite squad" of trained anti-terrorists take on Jurgen Prochnow in a by-now expected villain turn, and there's a personal twist to the proceedings as well. All of the cast is awfully pretty (at first it was difficult to distinguish between any of the three blond male leads, two of whom are twins!), and the beautiful Maxine Bahns kicks some terrorist butt as well (not so far-fetched, as I learned from her IMDB bio that she's a triathlete in real life). All in all, a pretty decent way to waste a sleepless night while surfing the cable box. 2 stars (out of 5) on the Corkymeter.

There is an old 1980's era Hong Kong kung fu film, called Secret Message. I can't find it in any data base; but I saw it once on YouTube. It had no plot. It was just fighting; over a "secret message". Secret Message was better than The Elite.

Battleship was at most a Frigate. The Harpoon missile is NOT a surface to air missile, it is a surface to surface missile to hit ships and ground targets. So many errors. Did not even try to have any accuracy. Kind of a Mod Squad do-over? One of those movies to have playing in the background, like when you are cooking dinner, or playing a video game. Acting was not the worst, but not great.

the premise of the film is that they trained together since pre-pubescence. then in the first action scene they all act like they're meeting each other for the first time. I couldn't make it past the first 15 minutes. I don't know why Time Warner rated it a 2.5 out of 4...but it's an awful film.

oh yeah, and even the first scene sucks. the guy comes in and is asked to shoot one of his undercover cohorts. Of course he gives in and tries to shoot the villain instead. And there's a bloody ICBM in an Austrian chapel...Europeans would never do something like that to their heritage. Hell, even Americans plant them out in the middle of nowhere amongst the corn and wheat.