The Erotic Witch Project

The Erotic Witch Project (1999) was one of the many soft-core parodies of the surprise box office hit The Blair Witch Project. I have seen them all and this one is the best of the lot. Unlike the others, this one delivers on what they promised. The tale focuses on three women (Victoria Vega, Dariane Caine and Katie Keane) who are on a trip through the woods of New Jersey looking for the "Erotic Witch". This "movie" has it all, hot women and steamy action. I am a big fan of femme-on-femme films and this one is at the top of my list!

Highest recommendation!

A+++++

I don't care what others say. I think Dariane Caine is pretty hot!

xx

In the midst of the popularity of The Blair Witch Project, it was inevitable that such a pop phenomenon would come to inspire so many parodies. Unsurprisingly, one such spoof took the soft core path, and it's probably the most popular of the bunch.

Take the original plot, make it three young women instead of two guys and a girl, and put them off to the woods in the search of the legendary erotic witch and you've got the (very) basic plot for The Erotic Witch Project. Of course, these three ladies come under the influence of the erotic witch and end up getting into all sorts of lesbian encounters with one another.

Since this is a softcore film, this should be reviewed on an entirely different basis than the average movie. After all, things such as acting, writing, and competent direction don't matter here. All you need to see are three attractive women who display lots of skin and get it on with one another. Even at that, it's hardly perfect, but it'll probably work up a quick fix for those who like this sort of thing (being a guy, I do like this sort of thing).

The three women on hand are Katie Keane (who now seems to go by the name Laurie Wallace), a blonde; Victoria Vega, a brunette; and Darian Caine, who has dark hair. Wallace is easily the most physically attractive of the lot (which is nice considering she spends the entire last half-hour wandering around in a forest without any clothes on) and also displays the most acting ability (or maybe a better way to put it would be more enthusiasm than both Vega and Caine combined). Wallace is, in fact, one of the hottest women I've seen and even her imperfections (admittedly, her posterior has quite a bit of slightly saggy skin covered with stretch marks) actually add to that "girl next door" feel, even though she's easily hotter than anyone living in my neighborhood.

She gets in at least two classic moments, the first is when she and Vega are under the spell of the erotic witch and she complains about being nude on video while Vega strips Wallace's clothes off one-by-one. The second is probably the most famous scene in the entire movie, a three-minute long parody of Heather Donahue's tearful "I'm so sorry" speech, except Keane happens to be fondling her bare breast for the entire segment. Wallace also has another sexy scene where Darian strips her, all the while claiming she's only letting her do it for documentary purposes. Then they proceed to have a very lengthy lesbian session.

Full-bodied brunette Victoria Vega is also quite attractive, not nearly as much as Wallace, but certainly much preferable to Darian Caine.

The Erotic Witch Project most definitely could have done without the guy running around in a gorilla suit who occasionally makes grunting noises during the lesbian scenes. And hey, it probably could have even done without Darian Caine, whose constant griping and raspy voice are more annoying than sexy. Still, this is an amusing, sexy softcore flick that Blair Witch haters will probably find up their alley.

rating as an actual film: D+

rating as a sofctore film: A- (would have been an A with someone more attractive than Darian Caine)

This movie is the funniest spoof I have ever seen. And better than any XXX movie ever. I hope to see the blonde in many, many more movies. I never thought that anyone could make a movie for this cheap that is this good.

Sex spoofs of serious movies are an old tradition. Be they X-rated (Foreskin Gump comes to mind) or simply erotic (David Friedman's The Erotic Adventures of Zorro) they have always been there... and they will.

The Erotic Witch Project is so similar to the original movie that it amazed me. Of course, everything has a twist. We know, just for the name of the flick, that good, funny things (read: naked chicks and sexual situations) are going to happen. And they do.

If you've seen Blair Witch you will guess the ending of the Erotic With with close-to-zero- margin of error, but it does not matter. What matter is this: three beautiful women get lesbo-crazy in front of a camera. Talk about entertainment! The performances are more than you could expect, and the girls are stunning.

Last tip: get the collector's edition VHS with the uncensored, uncut version. It is much better than the regular one, even the included in the DVD.

Despite it comes from a director with no brains. (Erotic Ghost) It'll come as a surprise that it's actually fun to watch. (unless your Melissa Etheridge... women need not apply)

It's actually more fun to watch the making of featurette on the dvd than the actual movie. Seeing people act like they do in real life. Enjoy.

6/10

Quality: 4/10 Entertainment: 6/10 Replayable: 10/10 (what are you kidding me?)