Cheerleader Ninjas

The Hamsters don't let the evil Stephen on to their cheerleading squad. So he recruits the girls from Blessed Virgin Sacrifice to help stop them (from doing what, I'm not sure) and to take over all the Internet. Will cheerleaders team up with geeks to save the Internet and cheerleading?

I saw this film through a bunch of clips on YouTube and just had to go and rent it a few days later (so anyone who says YouTube doesn't make money for people is wrong). I was not disappointed. In fact ,the preview was pretty awful compared to the film.

The film is just one joke after another, with the occasion breast or rear end thrown in (and sometimes more, thanks to guest star Kira Reed). The acting and filming style are very much in the Troma style (and I'm surprised they didn't release this after "Teenage Catgirls in Heat") and the jokes are pretty bad. But so bad they're good, in my opinion.

If there's such a thing as the perfect low budget comedy, this is it. Emphasis on the "low budget". But what did you expect when you picked this up? Bad acting, bad plot and cheerleaders with swords. You'll get exactly what you expect. So don't complain.

I have suffered through "Orgy of the Dead", "Rock n'Roll Nightmare", and the entire "Slumber Party Massacre" Trilogy...but nothing, I mean nothing, can compare to the steaming pile of monkey crap that is "Cheerleader Ninjas."

I finished watching this no more than an hour ago and am still reeling from the horror. Let me say first and foremost, that I love bad movies; I think they are hilarious and cannot get enough of them but this...this made me hurt.

All you have to know is there are good cheerleaders (snobby, bitchy, condescending, all you could ask for) and then there are the bad cheerleaders (snobbier, bitchier, and really quite gross) led by the extremely gay Evil Stephan (you know he is gay because they mention it during the credits at least twice. Seriously). Then there are these nerds decked out in Star Trek apparel that do an awful lot of masturbating (with condiments no less) and more farting than all of the Farrelly brothers movies combined.

Sounds like good, IL' tasteless fun, right? Wrong.

The problem is the movie tries waaaaay too hard to be funny; this type of humor works great in films like "Porky's", hell even "American Pie" but these guys can't get the jokes, or anything else to work. Granted there is some, not much but some gratuitous nudity, including a quick beaver shot but it's hardly worth sitting through all 110 minutes of this crap. That's right, it's almost two hours long. Further proof than the best bad movies are 90 minutes or less.

Rent at your own risk.

An irresistible farce, this movie is really a force!! A good mixture of genres, with some very good jokes, a few of them missing the point, but usually good. The story is real thin, but the acting is better than you may think for such a low budget effort, the girls are nice to look at (there is also a nude cameo of everyone favorite, Kira Reed), a few of the guys are fun; there is a sophomoric atmosphere all over the movie, making it fun to watch if you are in the mood. Thumbs up!

I am one of those people that rent disgustingly bad movies in order to laugh at them and poke fun at them, a la Mystery Science Theater 3000. But with this film, even that level of mockery was unattainable. Sometimes there are humorous plot-holes or intentional nuances that are laughable. It's really okay to make a movie with stupid story-lines on purpose; Troma Films made it an art by producing classics such as "Cannibal: The Musical" and "Redneck Zombies". But sometimes it can fail, even Troma did it with "Tromeo and Juliet". "Cheerleader Ninjas" had a similar fate. It tried so hard that I couldn't even laugh at its attempt to make a movie. If you want a movie with an obvious intent to be bad, rent one of the Austin Powers sequels or a campy Troma Production, don't waste $2.50 on this piece of garbage.

Even though I only watched twenty minutes of it, this movie raped my mind of any innocence it may have possessed. I do not recommend watching this movie unless you're looking for a porn to watch and can't find any actual porn.