Agent Red

I rarely comment on movies in this space, but this one was so bad that I felt it my duty to do so. The plot premise is OK, it was just treated with utter lack of and contempt for realism and accuracy. I'm a big fan of military movies, and I just couldn't get past the constant technical gaffes in this film. F-16s and Mirages flown from a US aircraft carrier? The scenes on the "Ohio Class" submarine look like they were filmed in an oil refinery, complete with concrete floors. Much of the footage was stock footage or footage I recognized from other films. I actually turned it off during the final action scene. If you don't know an F-16 from an F-14 or a hot water heater from a missile tube, you might be OK with this. If you do, forget it!

I am assuming that the 2000 action thriller "Agent Red" (aka "Captured") was a straight to video release. Regardless, while I did know that the movie existed, I actually never had a chance to watch it before here in 2025.

Was I harboring any grand expectations? No, not particularly. Why? Well, this just oozed low budget action movie from Dolph Lundgren, and God knows he has been in more than his share of such movies. But still, I opted to give directors Damian Lee and Jim Wynorski the benefit of the doubt.

The storyline in the movie was straightforward, though a bit on the generic side. Sure, it was a watchable enough movie for the generic action thriller type of entertainment that it was, so I suppose writers Kevin Bernhardt, Steve Latshaw and Damian Lee did a fair enough job with the script.

The acting performances in the movie were fair. The only familiar face on the screen, though, was Dolph Lundgren.

There is a fair amount of action in the movie, which definitely helped to keep the movie afloat; pardon the pun.

Watchable, sure, but hardly a movie that warrants more than a single viewing.

My rating of "Agent Red" lands on a generous four out of ten stars.

How bad is this film? VERY! I don't know where to start... well I do. Expectations were low from the opening credits listing (no not just because Dolph Lundgren was top billing) but a guy with one of the worst names in the business - Randolph Mantooth - was SECOND billing, obviously I wasn't expecting much. The love interest role fell to a woman who looked like she would be more comfortable in a porn film, add to that:

1) Some very bad acting (mostly from big Dolph) 2) A totally rubbish villain 3) Offensive Russian accents 4) straight-to-TV plot 5) Some cheesy sex-related one-liners that are disgusting and offensive

then you have one really, really bad movie. Just when you thought Dolph couldn't stoop any lower he does. In fact Dolph sums it up himself with a line from the film - asked if he knew what Agent Red was he replies "sounds like a bad action movie", boy was he ever right!

Another Cold War Red-movie, so popular in the 1980ies and 1990ies... And a tough guy in a limited space and time trying to prevent a major disaster and succeeding just before the final countdown, leaving behind tens of kicks, bursts and dead bodies - familiar, isn't it? The plot is very predictable and consequently rather horrible, but thanks to Lundgren the slightly more than 1,5 hours do not pass totally wasted or tediously. There are some funny lines and word plays (however, most of dialogs and events are rather artificially constructed), and even the bad guys are there not for money, but more sublime ideas - overshadowed by revenge, though.

The thrill is not there throughout the movie, but if you have nothing against Lundgren, it is watchable in a male company. Much worse movies have been made!

I rented this DVD as "Agent Red" and maybe someone changed the title hoping someone would be fooled into renting it like I did. I fast forwarded looking for the good parts and didn't find any. The plot holes you could float an aircraft carrier through.

Did you know nuke submarines had concrete floors and walls?

Anyway, to illustrate how bad it is the best acting comes from none other than Randolph Mantooth. What more can I say?