- Addie Holden: The man died literally on top of me.
- Piper Grayson: Isn't it what most men want - to die in the saddle?
- Addie Holden: It is not that great for the saddle.
- Kate Westbourne: I know a friend who lipoed her stomach once. A few months later, she looked like Jabba the Hutt.
- Miriam: Who's Jabba the Hutt?
- Addie Holden: It's a sea slug, Mummy, from outer space and it's not a compliment.
- Wesley Westbourne: You and Miss Westbourne had... uyuh... relations with the director.
- Addie Holden: Not at the same time, obviously.
- Wesley Westbourne: Why are we so horrible to each other?
- Kate Westbourne: Well, that's easy. We have an S&M relationship. Son & Mother.
- Beryl Mason: I think of sex as a language and I'm fluent in it. You? Well, for you it's... a second language.
- Piper Grayson: [Addie lights a cigarette] Smoking kills!
- Kate Westbourne: Oh-ho, dear, let her smoke!
- Kate Westbourne: You know, sometimes you don't even act like you're my son, Wesley.
- Wesley Westbourne: Sometimes you don't even act like you're my mother.
- Kate Westbourne: Oh, come on, I've given you everything a child could want. Toys, love, publicity...
- Gavin: That's one good-lookin' lady!
- Wesley Westbourne: Gavin, I may be mistaken, but I think she was very much alive at the start of World War II.
- Bill: I'm an ex-Marine, and in WWII I pulled a man's face off with just these two fingers. I didn't enjoy it... much. But I'd do it again!
- Miriam: That's her Hollywood voice.
- Addie Holden: Can it, mummy dearest! I was educated in England.
- Miriam: If you say so, Countess.
- Kate Westbourne: [sing-song] With makeup as thick as clotted cream, no you're not a clown, you're a drag queen.
- Addie Holden: Well, if I've got the makeup of a drag queen, you've got the shoulders!
- Kate Westbourne: You really should try a thinner cigarette. It lessens the proliferation of the lip lines...
- Addie Holden: At least I have lips!