Merlin: The Return

This movie is a parody, right ??? There is no other way to describe it. It's either a parody or a fiasco. Merlin should be regal like Dumbledore in the Harry Potter movies, not the village idiot. King Arthur is a wimp and please don't start me on Mordred.

Adrian Paul as Lancelot (one of the two main reasons I bothered to watch this movie) looks like someone who doesn't know what the hell he is doing there, but decided that "if I'm stuck here at least lets have some fun". He is having fun and in the few scenes he is in, Mr. Paul can hardly keep straight face. This movie is a must miss movie, especially if you are a "King Arthur and the round table" tales buff.

If, when in the cinema, children are spinning round to stare at you, it means either that the film itself is terminally terrible or you've sprouted a massive boil on your forehead that you hadn't quite noticed. The first answer is, of course, the right one. And as for "Merlin The Return", it's a stinker in a division all of its own. It's almost as if director Paul Matthews had accepted a bet to make the worst possible film. Well, he's succeeded, and his winnings are bound to be more than Merlin will ever make.

Matthews' lumbering style sees the picture heave from one gormless scene to the next, helped on its way by the most awful acting. Rik Mayall (Merlin) trots out his usual sweaty desperation and manic panic, Patrick Bergin (King Arthur) looks like an embarrassing dad (complete with silly wig and glitzy, disco-friendly pullover), while the token American (no doubt included to secure international release - some hope) is a kid who seems to be reading his lines off Merlin's forehead.

Nearly a laugh a minute, and some were probably intentional. The performance of Adrian Paul as Lancelot caused giggles every time he spoke, and a less regal Arthur I cannot imagine. If you give this film any thought it fell apart even more thoroughly than on a total suspension of disbelief. Only Rik Mayall seemed to have got the joke. My 9 year old boy loved it but even he thought that it was totally unbelievable!

Wow. I don't think I have ever been so torn as I have been watching "Merlin The Return". Rik Mayall, Adrian Paul, and so many others put in absolutely wonderful performances.

However, there were 2 MAJOR points that made this utterly disasterous.

1) The American Kid. There are some scenes that's he's good in. Most, he is just... BAD to be kind.

2) The "Modern Day" characters about town. The main ones they focused on (including the kids) seemed too accepting of Merlin and his appearing. Someone could of said "he appeared out of nowhere", and someone else laugh it off. If perhaps it was established better that Merlin was known as "the town nutter" (a little extra dialog could of killed that one) and only one person believed he was really Merlin (say the girl or her mother), then there could be a better believability. Also, everyone seemed to be a bit nonchalant when Merlin uses his magic and then Mordred comes through the gateway the first time.

Yet through the holes, lies a pretty darn good story for the most part, and some solid acting and swordplay. Really a fun movie.

I gave it 5 out of 10, because of the distractions, but it's still a very fun movie, though better for kids than adults (and that could of easily been fixed).

I hadn't ever heard of this movie until I ran across it on cable this evening, and seeing Rik Mayall's name in it, I figured I'd check it out, being a fan of "The Young Ones" from way back. Well obviously he's a young one no longer, but he does a enthusiastic turn as Merlin in this unfortunate mish-mash of I-don't-know-what.

Was this really Patrick Bergin, Tia Carrere, Craig Sheffer (oh what happened to the days of "A River Runs Through It"?)? Throw in a little Stonehenge mythology, Arthurian legend, special effects that look like they flew out of "Ghostbusters" and this could have been a LOT better movie. Bad things happen to good actors, and this movie is proof. Discombobulated plot, confusion abounds, and I kept hoping Elizabeth from "Drop Dead Fred" would pop up and say the magic words and make it all go back in the jack-in-the-box. Craig Sheffer is in no way, shape or form cut out to be this creepy time traveler, he's a great actor and what in the world made him do this movie is beyond me. Patrick Bergin doesn't really have that much enthusiasm either.

Mayall does seem to be the most inclined to try his best, so I'd give this a 5 out of 10.