Rubdown

RUBDOWN is a waning career assignment (and pretty embarrassing) for both Harry Reems and John Holmes, facing off with some of the prettier young porn actresses of the mid-'80s. It's a hold-your-nose special, with some high ratings (plenty of 10s) in IMDb from fans of the distaff talent.

Reems plays a mean boss, who fires secretary Kim Carson when she won't put out for him. His sexual harassment is well-known, and her co-workers Bunny Bleu and Amber Lynn quit on the spot in solidarity with Kim. If you have a strong stomach for tolerating Reems making faces and overacting, keep watching.

The nubile trio decide to make a living by giving outcall massages, which Bleu accurately assesses to be little more than prostitution, given the "extras" involved. Video, poorly directed by Bill Amerson (credited as "Bill Williams") shows them with customers, leading to a stupid finale.

Hottest scene is probably the mere softcore preamble, where Amber oils up Bunny in a demonstration of massage technique. Young Bleu's pre-op breasts are a treat, though her career took off after she pumped up the volume several years later.

Jesse Adams (also late in his career) teams up with Jerry Butler (still in his prime) for a threesome with Bunny, while Amber is stuck in a bubble bath with John Holmes. Holmes doubles as the video's production manager.

Aforementioned finale is utterly ridiculous, as Reems answers a newspaper ad placed by the trio but apparently (sloppy writing and direction, in who cares? fashion), doesn't recognize them as they tie him up in bondage on a bed and cover him with chocolate syrup and whipped cream. His supposedly ironic comeuppance is hardly worth mentioning (or "spoiling"), strictly a yawner.

Famous directors including Patti Rhodes and Scotty Fox had flunky assignments on this production, but it amounts to a generic time-killer.