In this comedic Italian retelling of West Side Story/Romeo and Juliette, the focus predictably shifts from the love story between Romeo (Jerry Calà) & Giulietta (Simona Mariani) to the rivalry between the former and Felice (Diego Abatantuono), Giulietta's older brother. Romeo, who works at a garage, leads a gang of would be tough guys who go out cruising with their giant boom-box every weekend. Felice, who is an apprentice grocer, has a rival 'gang' consisting only of his three brothers, each one sillier than the next. Both Jerry Calà and Diego Abatantuono look a bit too old to be gang members, though Diego, all shoulder pads and wearing the occasional headband, is certainly tough enough. Calà on the other hand is much too goofy and pudgy to be realistic as the leader of the pack, let alone a romantic lead.
After a fight at the only local disco, the two gangs are only allowed in on odds and even weekends. Soon after wards Romeo's eyes fall on Giulietta (unaware that she is Felice's sister) while on the subway. Julieta is no fotomodella, as he first assumes, but works at the Supermercato. For their first big date, Romeo 'borrows' a Ferarri from his favorite client at the garage, lawyer Colombo (Ugo Bologna), with disastrous results for the lawman. It's costume night at the disco on one of the Raging Bull's (Felice and family) weekends, so they dress up as the three musketeers. Romeo manages to sneak in dressed as Zorro to meet up with Giulietta. Naturaly, as all of them were carrying swords, a sword fight breaks out when D'Artagnan notices Zorro flirting with his baby sister. The Fox manages to make his getaway, but the next day a food-fight erupts between the rival gangs courtesy of the Felice's grocery van.
For their next date, Romeo has his pall and co-worker Renato (Mauro Di Francesco),who is trying to learn English, to pose as an American to pick up Giulietta for him. Felice, who is about to go out skating with his own girl, is not fooled for long. When Romeo ends up in jail after a pitiful attempt to rob a pawn broker, Felice takes the opportunity to push a boring friend of his (Renato Cecchetto) in the direction of Giulietta and arrange a shot gun marriage. Soon the entire family is getting together and Felice is confronted with a potential bride of his own who looks like 'the Loch Ness Monster'. At the same time, Romeo's trial is not going well thanks to the disinterest of his lawyer. At the last possible moment, avocado Colombo comes to his rescue. Will Romeo be on time to thwart Giulietta's wedding nuptials 'The Gratuate' style? Won't anyone kick the bucket as per Shakespeare's first draft? Who will end up with Nessie? How long will the customary chase scene at the end last? Will Jery Calà take his clothes off before the end (not a pretty sight)? Find out the answers to these questions and more in "I Fichissimi".
6 out of 10
