Fatevi vivi, la polizia non interverrà

Well now, I found the single most boring and disappointing Poliziotesschi (Italian crime thriller) of the 70s. Little problem, though, I wasn't looking for that at all. Quite the contrary, I had reasonably high hopes that "Kidnap" would be a solid genre entry considering the contemporary relevant plot (namely: the kidnapping of a child of a wealthy family by a gang of thugs) and the involvement of veteran actors like Henry Silva and Philippe Leroy.

Alas... "Kidnap" is infuriatingly dull, with the slowest pacing I ever witnessed in any Italian film, pointless dialogs that seem to last eternally, and an anti-climax that is guaranteed to make your mouth fall open with amazement (of how lame it is, duh!). Despite the enormous potential, the script is completely devoid of action and suspense. Bloody shootouts, exhilarating car chases, brutal executions, relentless violence against vulnerable women and/or children, grisly torturing or extortion techniques... All the aforementioned are almost mandatory trademarks of the Poliziotesschi, however, "Kidnaps" features none of these.

It's particularly impossible to fathom how Henry Silva ended up in this inept and thoroughly inferior product. This awesome man starred in some of the genre's greatest outings, for crying out loud, like "La Mala Ordina" and "Milano odia: la polizia non può sparare". I, for one, can only assume that Silva must have gotten lost on the Italian roads in between two film studios, and ended up in a wrong one. That might have sounded something like this:

Henry Silva: Hi, I'm here to shoot another violent cop thriller.

Director: What? Err, I mean, welcome Mr. Silva! My name is Giovanni Fago and I'm the director.

Henry Silva: Are you sure? I don't know you, and I usually work with the best in the genre, like Umberto Lenzi and Fernando Di Leo.

Director: Yes, well, I'm an upcoming talent. Here's the script.

Henry Silva: What is this? There isn't any action in this film.

Director: Oh, we'll add action later, this is a first draft.

Ha! They sure fooled you, Mr. Silva! (dramatization! Did not happen)

I expected much more with Henry Silva in the cast. This crime movie made in the seventies lacks of action and sharpness, but it's not a piece of crap, I assure you folks. If you can get it, go on. Philippe Leroy as the villain character is real convincing. I watched a perfect quality copy and that enhanced the comfort for this tepid story. If Fernando Di Leo had made it, it certainly would have been different. to be clear, not the best Italian crime movie ever, far from that. The director was a lousy one. Everything is predictable and I still wonder what the hell Henry Silva did in that film. Probably to pay his electricity bills. I could have played his character...

That's that then. I've finally found the most boring poliziotesschi film imaginable. Imagine Cry of A Prostitute if Henry Silva turned up in Sicily, exchanged some harsh words with the Mafia bosses, and then sat out the end of the film with a nice book for company.

These Euro-Crime films are known for their extreme violence, exciting car chases, fast pace and downbeat endings, so Kidnap contains endless scenes of dialogue, people talking, people meeting in cafes, meetings held in conference rooms, people discussing horses, Henry Silva discussing his career, kidnappers discussing stuff, people waiting for phone calls, people discussing phone calls, etc etc etc. About an hour in you realise that nothing of interest is going to happen. The story is that the daughter of a prominent businessman is kidnapped and the kidnappers are demanding 500 million lire as a ransom. Cop Henry Silva is on the case but instead uses it to lean on and disrupt the business of a Mafia Don whom he has been after for years. This prompts the Mafia Don to start investigating the kidnapping before his drug empire is destroyed.

This results in Henry vaguely threatening the Mafia boss over and over again while the family discuss paying the ransom and the kidnappers discuss what country is best to exchange the money in. It's like the film painted itself into a corner after about five minutes and kind of crams in a wee bit of action at the end. Utterly pointless when there's dozens of these films kicking about.

Henry Silva of all people doesn't even manage to work up much of a rage and spends the finale in his office, miles away from the action. What were they thinking here? Philipe Leroy gets more space to move around and the only real drama comes from the kidnappers, where loyalty changes place and treachery is afoot.

Nice soundtrack though. Take it from me though - skip it.

With Henry Silva in the role of a tough cop on the trail of a gang of kidnappers who've taken a little girl off the streets, you'd think this Italian crime flick would be decent. Think again! It's a slow-as-molasses tale which wastes nearly all the time on talk and yet more talk. Silva uses the opportunity to turn the screws on a mafia boss and the tension is almost nil. A few interesting moments here and there, but you itch for a director of Lenzi's calibre to bring some life into it.