The Cuckoo Patrol

This must surely be a candidate for the worst film ever : certainly the worst British film, the worst sixties film, and the most unfunny 'comedy'. Freddie and the Dreamers were never big enough stars to carry a film and in any case were by 1967 when the film appeared, already past their use by date. There isn't a single decent 'gag' in the whole sorry mess, the 'acting' is uniformly dire and the likes of John le Mesurier must surely have been embarrassed to be associated with it. If I say that Kenneth Connor (of 'Carry On' fame) was taking a step DOWN in terms of quality and subtlety to appear in this appalling drivel, it might convey how truly awful it is. It's a mystery how it even got made, let alone released. Excruciatingly poor.

In answer to another comment from someone who wondered whether this film had been released, I can assure him/her that it was. I remember seeing the photographs outside a London cinema around 1967 or 1968. If I remember correctly, Freddie Garity was dressed as a boy scout. As a boy scout myself at the time I can tell you that each troop is divided into patrols, and that each patrol is named after an animal or a bird.

By that time, Freddie and the Dreamers were past their sell-by date. I did not want to see an overgrown Freddie playing a boy scout, so it did not take much willpower to resist the urge to enter the cinema.

With hindsight, I can see that Freddie and Co were unique in rock music, and were a better band than people give them credit for. But, at the time, pop stars were put in films that were usually absolute crap. The only film of this kind that I have found impressive is Adam Faith in Mix Me a Person.

I don't really remember a great deal about this film as i was only about six years old at the time. My father, Harry Bennett aka Crafty Casey Pye played the part of one of the wrestlers called the black gorillas, alongside his tag partner Dominic Pye. Dominic is listed on the cast list but the other black gorilla is listed as a Bill Turney, I know this isn't correct but don't know who Bill Turney is/was and why . My mum says there was a mix up at the time, she seems to remember.

I would be interested in obtaining a copy of this film, can anyone help, i have sent a message to stephen-50 who has previously made a comment about this film.

Thank you for your help Michelle

I actually felt a bit sorry for the "Freddie and the Dreamers" guys here as they play a troop of aged boy-scouts who find themselves embroiled with some petty crooks. Along the way, they have some "carry-on" style escapades that allow some surprising names - who should have known better - to pop up: John le Mesurier, Victor Maddern and Basil Dignam to name but three. I suppose the only one who emerges with anything akin to credibility is the sparsely used Kenneth Connor who is very much in character as their hapless scout leader. It's got plenty of the usual slapstick antics, and comes across much like a cheap and cheerful Norman Wisdom film, only with songs. That's the nadir just there - the title song and the few others that pepper the film are truly terrible (especially when sung in pyjamas). A fun ambush at the end raises the tempo ever so slightly, but sadly this is just a poorly conceived and executed flop of a film that can't ever have looked good - even on the storyboard/beer mat.

A star vehicle for Freddie Garrity - of FREDDIE AND THE DREAMERS fame - THE CUCKOO PATROL is an entirely dated and lacklustre comedy centred around a Scout troop and the misadventures they get themselves into. This really is poverty row stuff, with awfully lame jokes and the sight of Garrity mugging and gurning towards the camera all the while. You wonder how on earth a production like this got made or who they were aiming at given the star's five minutes of fame had long since passed.

Still, for fans of cult and/or forgotten films, THE CUCKOO PATROL holds some fun. Kenneth Connor and John Le Mesurier contribute a nice little double act as the thoroughly exasperated scouting superiors and some of the sub-plots are quite fun, like when the Scouts unwittingly aid a criminal gang with their attempt at safecracking. But let's be fair, the quality of the writing is very poor here, and the film as a whole feels like something that came out of the 1930s rather than the late '60s. Victor Maddern gives the best performance as the gang boss.