3 Dev Adam

It's your unfriendly neighbourhood Spiderman! But he's green! And he's in Turkey! And he's ripped a hole in his mask so you can see his bushy eyebrows! And he can't shoot webs anymore! Or climb up walls! Peter Parker must have been bitten by ANOTHER radioactive spider or something, presumably while on holiday in Turkey, because suddenly he's EVIL and likes nothing better than chopping people up with a knife, skewering them in the shower, and, especially, doing lame ass kung-fu on them.

You know this film is going to be amazing when - BEFORE THE OPENING CREDITS - Spidey buries a girl up to her neck on the beach, then gets two blokes in a boat to reverse the outboard motor blades into her face. Seems the cops were right all along to be suspicious of that ol' web-slinger. Then those opening credits -- photographs (like actual paper photographs) taken on the set have been stuck on a wall next to fridge-magnet letters spelling out the title, and the camera zooms away from them very quickly...this passes for special effects in 70s Turkish cinema. The theme tune has exactly the same melody as "Diamonds Are Forever". There is no Turkish word for "copyright violation" - as if the psycho slasher Spiderman wasn't proof of that already.

As if that wasn't enough, wait -- Evil Spidey is terrorizing Istanbul, so who's the best person to call to deal with the problem? Captain America of course! (well it makes more sense than trusting in the hapless raincoated detective who gets sliced up by Spiderman - who then looks into the camera and says "ho ho ho ho ho. Adios!") Oh, and also Santo, the masked Mexican wrestler. Santo is a trifle fatter than his Mexican version, but at least his blank face mask can be replicated easily - Captain America is a tougher task for the costume designer (who, looking at the costumes, is almost certainly the director's mum). He has the "A" on his head, but he has no shield -- then again, Spidey has no webs, so that evens things out.

You have to see this movie. If necessary, go to Turkey to see it. Even better than the notorious Turkish remake of "Star Wars", and a 500% improvement on the recent Hollywood Spiderman. Did Spidey gruesomely murder a lovemaking couple in that movie? Well exactly.

So here's an odd movie. Spider Man is a bad guy. And his mask is radically different. And he has these massive eyebrows--or maybe they were antenna? Anyhow, this has nothing to do with everybody's favorite webslinger. Technically, he is called Spider Man and kinda dresses like him, but instead uses the awesome powers of a switchblade to kill people and steal statues. Oh, and I think he can clone himself whenever he dies. Maybe. Didn't make much sense at the time.

Come to combat this villain are the awesome duo of Captain America and El Santo. For those of you not up on your lucha libre, El Santo is the most famous Mexican wrestler of all time, having starred in approximately 100 movies in his forty-year career. The silver-masked man revealed his identity only a month before he died and was laid to rest in his cloak and cowl. Anyhow, they're fighting Spider Man. At least Captain America (not an American by any means) is, since El Santo isn't in this too much. After a few rumbles, good is triumphant.

Worth a see? Definitely, if you like your cheese thick and incomprehensible (as detailed previously, there are no English dubbed or subtitled prints). It's no classic, but it is fun if you've got a wad of meat in each shoe (I never did understand that saying). Don't look too hard, but if you're in the back of a small, locally owned video store and this falls off a shelf onto your head, rent it.

Priceless statues are being stolen all over Istanbuhl(?). Looks like the work of that infamous, murdering Spiderman. The police call in special outside help in Captain America from the United States and the legendary Mexican wrestler Santo.

It's anyone's guess why Spidey's turned to a life of crime, what the significance of all the stolen art is, or if those are his bangs or his eyebrows sticking out of the holes in his mask. He's also traded-in his web-shooters for a slick little switch-blade,and can quickly clone himself if he's killed (that part gets real tiresome after a while). Captain America is missing his trusty shield and Santo's wrestling skills resemble Flintstone judo.

In fact, nothing seems to make sense at all in this live-action cartoon that makes Tim Burton's 'Batman' look as tame as the 60's TV series. Dozens of people are killed needlessly, sudden jump-cuts take you to sleazy strip clubs, and there's a love scene that's interrupted by the Mr. Rogers' puppets. Even worse, it's all in Turkish. No version in English or English subtitles is available. I'm not painting a pretty pictures here, I know. But I can say it is, without a doubt , one of the BIGGEST film oddities the world over.

What a movie! The turks in the 1970's would put any bit of any country's pop culture and whir it in a blender and shoot it. This film has a homicidally insane Spiderman in a costume that looks like the director's elderly mother made with a rusty sewing machine and poor eyesight. Another great scene - the guy who is Capn America stops and talks on the side of a busy road WHILE CHANGING INTO HIS CAPTAIN AMERICA SUIT!!!(so much for secret identity) There is awful fight scenes - truly so bad that you laugh your head off. The clothes and hairstyles are stunningly ugly. Amazing. For true cheese lovers. Recommended!

It's got Spider-Man as a crime lord choking women in bathtubs, Captain America karate kicking guys to kingdom come, not to mention the James Bond theme, what more could you ask for?