Caress of the Vampire 2

...And I wish I never did, It came with film number 1, as a bonus movie. This an even worse movie, it's so bad, it's not even good. It's for these kind of movies they invented the fast-forward button on the remote. I couldn't get any story out of this, only the worst actors ever to do a movie, running around in bad costumes, and the girls taking them off, the first film had actually production value of a high-cost Hollywood movie compared to this, just some teens with a home-video camera. It's soft-porn, almost without bare-skin. -10 out of 10

One of the funniest movies ever to be put on a cheap DVD. Billy the Vampire is terrifying (but not as much as Lyme disease, apparently), and Ruby the Ghoul is adorable. The film is well-done for a budget, and has some truly hilarious moments (including the best intermission EVER). Not for someone who takes their vampire movies, their porn, or their feet seriously (but who wants to watch movies with THEM?), but indispensable if you're looking for a laugh. Nearly no nudity, for a so-called porn movie, but that's definitely not the point (there are lots of extended foot scenes which are fairly boring to the non-fetishist unless you like the cheesy rock-pop in the background, which I did). I got this movie on a DVD with "Caress of the Vampire 1", which is not funny, not titillating, and not worth watching. The DVD is worth getting for "Caress 2" alone.

The first Caress of the Vampire was pretty poor. It was nothing but a bunch of lesbian erotica strung together with something resembling plot. But, frankly, you can string even bad lesbian erotica together and I'll watch.

This thing seems to share nothing with the first movie, apart from its dreadful video and sound quality, which I think is actually worse. When anything erotic begins to happen, it's interrupted for... the plot, I guess, which they think is funny, but is mostly just nothing. I don't know why this movie exists. It's neither arousing nor funny. If the first movie was at least trying to be a movie, this one is trying to be a bunch of students making their first film for their own entertainment. And it's not even that good.

1 out of 10 is generous, but IMDB doesn't allow ratings in negative figures.