Animals

One of the worst 'movies' known to man. Use this movie as a threat to punish your kids - perhaps as a tortuous test for entrance into your fraternity - better yet, don't bother - why would you want to acknowledge the "film maker" Bob Cook, that any one in the world actually wants to watch this garbage. I'm sorry i watched it, but was hoping it might have some resolve, some meaning, other than a nice pair of breasts on the chick tied to a tree (the frat boys will like that). If you are punished to watch this - please fast foward the raping of Leanna Quigly - even the frat boys will not be amused.

The plot: Two escaped cons team up with one's idiot son and a token sadistic slut girlfriend and go on a crime/murder spree. They shoot a gas station attendant, then kidnap a fake blonde, making her strip, dance and model before killing her. When a vacationing family in an RV pull into the rest stop, they're hijacked by the thugs, who proceed to humiliate, beat, rape and murder them. It borrows from LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT, THE HITCHER, HOUSE ON THE EDGE OF THE PARK and many others.

ANIMALS has terrible photography, sound and lighting, even as far as shot-on-video horror films go. The acting is awful, there are frequent, annoying color to black and white changes (I guess to represent an "animal's" point of view), stock footage incorporated with all the technical mastery of your average Ed Wood, Jr. movie and a fat hairy slob named Beast who grunts "Me Beast!" and rapes Linnea Quigley doggy-style. If you must watch, see if you can endure the excrutiatingly overlong intro starring director Bob Cook as a newscaster.

Rating: 0 Stars out of 10.