Starcrypt

Don't see this movie. I mean it. DON'T SEE THIS MOVIE, not even to see how bad it is. You'll regret it if you do. Trust me. I've seen hundreds of crappy Hong Kong B-movies and MST3K-worthy hack films and none of them even come close to this one in pure lousiness. It's one of the only two movies I've ever slept through (the other being one of those introduction videos they show you when you visit big manufacturing companies). How the makers of this film managed to make an Alien ripoff so incredibly boring just frazzles my comprehension. Apparently shot with a home video camera in someone's garage (which has been flooded with crates and smoke machines in an effort to make it look like a deserted alien spaceship), this piece of crap features an incredibly monotonous soundtrack, worse acting than my fifth grade school play, opening credits that take almost ten minutes, a laughably ridiculous Vin Diesel wannabe, and a dancing scene so long and dull that the characters involved fall asleep. BAD.