Giochi erotici nella terza galassia

I saw this film when I was quite young, my folks had no idea what they were renting for me. Seeing as it was slightly saucy, my memories of this flick are fond ones! ;-)

I remember the F/X being dodgy, and the film being dubbed I think. Infact, the only thing I can remember vividly (apart from a sex scene) was the stuff about the Aliens (I say aliens... they just looked like pretty people in loin cloths!) not knowing what water was!

Although i'm sure if I watched it now... i'd probably laugh all the way to the Eject button!

Star Wars certainly has a lot to answer for. Its massive success perhaps unsurprisingly led to the Italians producing their own sci-fi adventures. Except, of course, they made them very cheaply and the results look absolutely ridiculous now and I daresay they didn't appear all that impressive back in the day either. Escape from Galaxy 3 is a pretty good example of this type of thing. It's a committedly ridiculous film from start to finish. It tells the story of a couple of aliens on the run from an evil tyrant who wind up landing on Earth and learning about love and sex in the process.

This one starts out with great potential, with a first half hour ram-packed with sci-fi idiocy of the most promising kind. We have a kindly space ruler who sports a crown and his evil nemesis who wears an elaborate costume and has a glittery beard; there are a couple of male/female heroes who have laser rings and supersonic powers, the male of which sports a bubble perm; we have space battles and intergalactic chases; and all of this is scored to an insistent disco soundtrack. All of this bodes well and it still seems like it's going in a good direction when our heroes land on Earth of the future, where the population has evolved into what looks like extras from the Buck Rogers TV show. But unfortunately, all the good work is soon to be undone when events here pan out in a most tedious of fashions. For what seems like an eternity, we witness our alien beings learn about love. This entails all manner of tiresome scenes and an alarming abundance of abysmal humour. It also ensures that there is nudity in what otherwise would be a movie for children. Towards the end the evil tyrant returns and things do pick up a bit but the damage has really been done unfortunately and the over-riding feeling is of a missed opportunity at an entertaining cheese-fest.

It's kind of a Sci-Fi that bogs down and never really recovers. Sherry Buchanan as Belle Star the Princess looks like she is ready to line up for the 800 meters in the Olympics. She is beautiful and in great shape while her leading man boyfriend Lithan played by Fausto Di Bella looks like a reserve forward on a "B" league soccer team. Fausto is not leading man material in any universe. The evil Oraclon, played with zeal by Don Powell, first blows up Bells Father the King, which has no effect on Belle strangely, and sets out to run Belle and Fausto down in his fast spaceship . He finally catches up to them on earth where they have passed the time by watching stupid dance routines and learning how to "get it on" from the brain dead earthlings. The movie continues to just keeps getting worse from there. Watching skinny Fausto play soccer would have been better then this movie, and I hate soccer.

OK the aliens themselves didn't disco but their outfits looked as if they belonged in a sci-fi disco-tech and some of the earthlings wearing peplum outfits danced a tribal disco complete with disco music! Yes this film is laughable, awful, yet entertaining in very weird way. OH and how can you not like Lord Glitterbeard! That was too funny.

Basically, Lord Glitterbeard (or what's his name) is out to get the 2 aliens. The 2 aliens land on earth to hide from him but learn love from some peplum wearing earthlings who's leader claims that they are the last of their kind. The two aliens end up falling in-love and they don't care that they will no longer be immortal because they will know the joys of life and love plus they can catch virus, disease and such - they feel that love is worth the risk.

Terrible movie but kinda fun to watch in an odd way.

4/10

OK so this movie isn't the greatest, but it's still far from uninteresting. The only real connection it has to Luigi Cozzi's superior STAR CRASH is the use of certain special effects shots. They appear to use some of the same models & spacecraft, which would of course be cheaper than building new ones for this film, or better yet just recycle the same footage. Nobody will notice.

Most movies are about two or three things. First there is the story or plot -- this time out two mis-matched intergalactic lovers land on a planet populated by castoffs from "Buck Rogers In The 25th Century" and discover sex. This includes an eye-opening scene where the film's heroine/lead actress goes for a naked swim in some sort of erotic oasis. I say "eye opening" not just because she is a delightful little morsel, but because the content of the scene is so at odds with the form that the movie takes: It looks to have been made for kids, but has tits. Huh.

And that is the second thing that this movie is about: Mixing low octane erotics with Star Wars inspired (or maybe FLASH GORDON would be more likely considering Don Powell's Parliament/Funkadelic Space Tyrant costume: wow!!) juvenalia. It's an exploitation film taking on the appearance of a science fiction adventure to lure in the kids, plus some bared flesh -- kept to a minimum, just a tad beyond the tease level -- to keep their parents occupied. The film is also equal opportunity in parading about a little space strumpet for the guys to ogle as well as an astronomical Adonis for the ladies to swoon over. Or vice versa: you never can tell about some people these days.

The third thing this movie appears to be about is how the European cult genre film craze -- dating back to the Gladiator movies that much of the film resembles -- had pretty much worn itself out by 1981. The Italians always were the most imitative of the Euro filmmakers and by the time STAR CRASH 2 was made they were imitating their own forms. Like FLASH GORDON and YOR, HUNTER FROM THE FUTURE this is essentially an updated Peplum saga with laser guns instead of javelins, and illustrates how by 1981 Italian B cinema was finally forced to find it's own voice after stuff like this stopped working at the box office.

The Italians went from Peplums to Gothic horror to spy thrillers to Spaghetti Westerns to war movies to Gothic horror to crime thrillers to car racing movies to Star Wars ripoffs and then back to the horror genre again for the 3rd wave of Fulci, Argento, Lamberto Bava and Joe D'amato. STAR CRASH 2 was directed by the occasionally brilliant Bitto Albertini, who participated in all of those prior genres and was on the tail-end of his career, and while this certainly isn't his best film his name is the big draw here: Bert Albertino movies are rather hard to come by, but unlike his ZAMBO or THREE SUPERMEN films there isn't much to recommend this one, aside from the kitschy 80's sci fi production design and the sex.

I happen to like kitschy 80's sci fi production design and sex so I got a kick out of this one. You certainly won't find the likes of it made today, and for fans of the Alfonso Brescia Star Wars ripoff school of film-making this movie will be a welcomed addition. Anyone else be forewarned though: There be Italians in disco robes dancing in this movie, and unless you are used to stuff like that you will probably find it to be somewhat silly, and maybe even a little on the erotic side. Welcome to Italian cult genre film-making, we hope you enjoy your flight.

5/10