The Warm, Warm Bed

THE WARM, WARM BED is an extremely cheap and lousy sexploitation effort from director Barry Mahon. At just an hour in length it never outstays its welcome, but the cheapness of the production is apparent in the black and white film stock used and the fact that nearly all of the action takes place in just a couple of rooms.

The film attempts to tie together a number of sub-plots in an interesting way and occasionally acts as a piece of farce, but generally it's not entertaining. The theme is ostensibly adultery and wife swapping, but there's an oddly tame aspect to the proceedings despite the near-constant nude scenes and the occasional sexual interlude.

The film begins with a bickering couple whose venomous antics will have you reaching for the fast-forward button. The guy playing the husband is supposedly a pilot but his arms are slathered in tattoos which sits oddly with his profession. Later a peeper husband tries to get into his own house but has some slapstick accidents. The running time is endlessly padded out with long shower scenes, scenes of women getting dressed and undressed, and dull dialogue. It's a real chore to watch.

As a prolific pornographer Barry Mahon churned out considerable chaff, with an occasional bright moment like HOT SKIN AND COLD CASH, but THE WARM, WARM BED is strictly routine.

Part of the problem is casting -with so many talented and beautiful actresses working in the late '60s it was a mistake to employ a set of unknowns. Acting is adequate, but with this weak a script the project needed some personality injected.

It starts off like an episode of The Bickersons -a couple arguing interminably. Heroine Margie takes a sexy shower, even revealing a fleeting shot of bush, visible through the distorting glass shower door.

Unfortunately what follows is talky filler, trying and failing to be funny. The haphazard casting is most evident in Margie's airline pilot husband Sam covered with tattoos, completely inappropriate for the character. Repetitive elements of bedroom farce are clumsily staged. Not exactly Noises Off quality.

Later reels segue into the then-trendy theme of suburban wife swapping, but not as interesting as the many better known movies on the subject made by Sarno, H.G. Lewis or Rotsler. In fact, the nondescript cast makes A.C. Stephen's ensembles from this period look like A-listers in comparison.

Just in case the viewer is really sympathetic to Mahon's cause and going with the film's flow, a sudden "go away" ending seals the film's fate as a clunker, and relies on an annoying "comical" cuckoo clock gimmick.

The Warm, Warm Bed (1968)

** 1/2 (out of 4)

Marge and her pilot husband are in the middle of a brutal fight as it is clear the two of them just don't have the heat anyone to make their marriage work. The husband leaves the house and this is when Marge gets involved with several strangers who comes to the house.

Barry Mahon's THE WARM, WARM BED isn't a masterpiece and it wasn't overlooked at Oscar time. It is, however, a rather entertaining sexploitation picture. The budget of this thing was obviously extremely low just like most of the director's films. What makes the film entertaining, at least for me, is the lead actress and her beauty.

I looked at several different sources and it seems no one knows who the lead actress was. She was certainly a very beautiful woman so being able to see her naked throughout the running time wasn't a bad thing. A lot of times I find these sexploitation pictures don't have the cutest of women but that's certainly not the case for Mahon's films as it seems he always got the best.

The actress alone made this film for me but another bonus is that it clocked in at just over a hour so the film doesn't get bogged down with any boring dialogue or situations.