Squali all'attacco

....as my DVD player stopped playing it after about an hour. I am in no doubt however it was doing me a favour, saving me before my brain had totally rotted. Luckily I did get to see the car chase, which contains quite possibly the worst editing I have ever seen in my life (the police are driving and old Alfa Romeo 33, which suddenly changes to a mark 1 Ford Sierra, then back to an Alfa, then crashes as a Sierra! Do these people even watch the film when they've finished making it? The cars don't even look remotely similar!)

But I digress. As you've probably worked out by now I hate this film. Even if it has got Ernie Hudson in it (who will always be a God in my eyes for appearing in Ghostbusters.) Most of the movie has nothing to do with sharks, just corrupt cops. I guess they'd run out of money by this point so you get the good old 'z-list actor throwing themselves around in the water whilst someone lets off red food dye' trick. Unless your life depends on it, do not watch this film. And even then only do if you've got a lot to live for.....

Ok I have seen alot of bad rip offs about the great movie jaws but this is just stupid!!!!!!!!half the time it is not even about sharks. Most of the time it is about this guy and his brother(SPOIL)who gets killed at the end(END SPOIL)and how he hates him and he works for this evil fat guy (SPOIL) who gets killed by his own creations(END SPOIL)so to put it in plain turms THIS MOVIE REALLY REALLY SUCKED so do yourself a favor AND DO NOT WATCH IT.

Scientist Cordell McQueen is killed in South Africa in an attack by a shark, the very thing he's gone there to investigate. A cryptic message left on his colleague Casper Van Dien's answering machine sends Van Dien and McQueen's sister Jenny McShane are off to South Africa to investigate.

What they find when they reach the coastal village where the attack occurred is a town ready to die. The resort that Ernie Hudson operates has no tourists and the fisherman don't go out at all because they're afraid of the water. Over the past few years there's been an unaccounted for spike in the number of shark attacks. The only thing operating is a scientific research institute where another colleague Bentley C. Mitchum is conducting research into a cancer cure.

Of course all this ties together with Mitchum conducting some really ghoulish experiments and Hudson playing everyone for suckers. Mitchum maybe thinking of a Nobel Prize for Medicine, but Hudson's got a far more practical motive for his actions.

Shark Attack is your average action adventure film with the cast all fitting nicely into their roles. One thing I would have done was cut Mitchum's death scene, just have him die with no last words. That particular piece of dialog was truly atrocious. Someone should have sicced one of those spiked up sharks on the writers.

The worst shark movie ever made. Yeah even better than those two god-awful Jaws sequels: Jaws 3D & Jaws The Revenge. Check this out: Some people trying to catch a huge white shark at a small lake. That's odd, they usually appear in the ocean. If anyone have seen a shark in a river or lake before, please tell me.

If you thought the shark looks fake in Jaws. This shark looks so fake, your eyes will pop out. Did I already mention you about the bad acting? Pretty lousy, you ask me. Don't watch it. It's not worth your time. I am really sorry that I've wasted my time on this stupid movie.

No Stars

Casper Van Dien breaks a new record in looking shabby in this movie, although he is supposed to be a marine biologist. If you can buy that, you will probably be able to handle the rest of the movie as well. "Shark Attack" tells the story of Van Dien going to South Africa (where just about everyone seem to be a hustler), to look for his missing friend. He finds out that his friend became shark food, and tries to find out why the sharks have started to behave so aggressively in this particular area. He gets help by another expert, Corinne, who loves to run around in her bikini while trying to solve the case.

If you are looking for really bad acting, check out "Shark Attack". You won´t believe your eyes. The effects are awfully lousy, unless you find rubber sharks convincing. The script contained so many old cliches that I lost count of them, and that is not too good. Right from the start it is quite obvious who is good and who is evil.

These kind of films can be so bad that they become entertaining, but "Shark Attack" is not fun at all. Man, I´d rather watch an episode of "Baywatch" than this kind of crap. Why somebody felt it was necessary to make a sequel to "Shark Attack" I have no idea.

* out of * * * * *