Ninja butai gekkô

"Margo! You shouldn't have shot him. A gun is a last resort. Always remember, we're Phantom Agents!" So began every episode of this extremely popular (in Australia) Japanese TV series. Appearing on our screens a month or two after the equally popular "The Samurai" this show seemed like a Japanese version of The Man From U.N.C.L.E. but with spooky and sometimes mystical special effects.

Phantom Agents battled the evil Black Flags of Snig Z and the even more evil international criminal conspiracy, the Ghost Group. Cheesy special effects such as the transistor radio that turned into a rifle were available as toys in Australian shops but we didn't care.

Always remember, we're Phantom Agents!

They may have lost the war but the Japanese won the peace and won the hearts of kids like me in the early to mid 1960's.

The Samurai was easily the best and most successful live action Japanese show on Australian TV and whilst The Phantom Agents was nowhere near the production quality, the target audience was primed and ready to accept this cross between the aforementioned Samurai and The Man from U.N.C.L.E.

I've rated it a 9 more for the affect it had on me than for it's artistic merits. Samurai swords - check! Star Knives - check! Ninja skills including leaping backwards 100's of meters - check! Really cool uniforms - check and the voice of William Ross as narrator (the voice of Shintaro) for the nostalgia factor - check!

Joe Mizuki was capable enough as Fantar. The theme music was very secret agentish, and the gadgets were up there.

There are a couple of episodes on YouTube but they aren't the greatest examples of the show. I have not seen collections available so it's very much a matter of "you had to be there." I'm sure there'd be many of my contemporaries who would give The Phantom Agents a giant thumbs up maybe just for the sheer fun of it.

Even as kids, we thought this Japanese TV series was a laugh. Just so cheap and hokey. We changed the opening sequence to, "You shouldn't have shot him. Always remember, bullets cost two yen a piece". And their Leader, Phantom Agent Fantar, became Phantom Leader Fat Arse. 'Nuff said. Almost.

What do I remember? The crew of Phantom Agents, complete with the token female and apprentice child agent, (the latter being taught the gentle art of garroting, shooting, knifing etc.), their cheesy commando uniforms making them look like drop outs from the Israeli Army, motoring around Japan in their huge, lurching open top Yank Tank convertible. Lots of scenes shot in cold, flat, gravelly wilderness areas that looked like Tokyo garbage dumps. Clumsy in and out camera shots. (Maybe caused by frozen photographers' hands.)Interior shots (usually cheap,easy-to-find warehouses)where you can see the frost on the hapless actors' breath. Obviously heating was not in the budget. Nor a real studio. I wonder how many actors and extras had to be treated for hypothermia and frostbite.

If you want to see what a big budget home movie looks like, watch Phantom Agents. But unlike Peter Jackson's funny but ridiculously shoestring budget "In Bad Taste", this one actually tries to be taken seriously.

And the hokey theme tune that sounded like it was plagiarised from Paul Anka's theme for "The Longest Day". La la la, la la la la......

And who came up with the organization of evil called "Snig Zee", and its minions, the "Black Flags".

"The Samurai" TV series on Channel 9 attained cult status with us Aussie baby boomer kids, and it inspired a whole generation of us to fashion star knives from bottle tops, and fantasize about being ninjas. Eger ninjas, that is, not the evil Koga ninjas. But Phantom Agents? It came later when Channel 7 tried to cash in on "The Samurai"'s success, but even kids have standards.