Pam & Tommy Lee: Stolen Honeymoon

Your garden-variety professional porn flick consists of a variety of sex acts performed by attractive--to varying degrees--people. Your garden- variety "amateur" porn flick consists of a variety of sex acts performed by not particularly attractive--to varying degrees--people. This "film" is neither a professional porn flick nor is it really an "amateur" one. Pamela Anderson is, it is generally agreed, extremely attractive and extremely sexy. Her husband, musician Tommy Lee, is neither, but since he's the one using the camera, most of the focus of the film is on him, and it's' not a pretty sight. I can't think of too many people who are eager to gaze at his skinny, spindly, tattooed body--although he seems to be enamored of it, considering how much time he spends showing it--but the most revealing part of this tape isn't the sexual content of it. As many other posters have noted, the sex scenes are so poorly shot as to be barely visible at times, but Pam and Tommy Lee prove once and for all that pretty much every derogatory remark ever made about them is true--she's an inflated, room-temperature-IQ airhead (although she seems to have a bit more on the ball than he does, which should give you an idea of just how much of a wackjob he is) and he's a conceited, arrogant, obnoxious, bullying jackass. It's fairly evident from the start that Pam really didn't want to have sex on camera, but Tommy's constant badgering and whining finally made her give in. It's also evident--and pretty much confirmed near the end of this mess--that Tommy saw this more as a showcase for his sexual "prowess" than anything else, and it's also obvious that he really didn't give a rat's ass if Pam liked it or not. She doesn't really seem to be into it in the least. She reminds you of nothing more then a typical bored porn queen, just lying back and reciting, "Oh yeah, baby, do me, you're great baby," blah, blah, blah. It's only at the end that you realize who was manipulating who: Tommy's preening, his smug, self-satisfied smirking, his "Yeah, I'm the man!" attitude contrasts with Pam's bemused "OK, now that that's over, I can get back to doing something I actually enjoy" expression.

Don't get me wrong--even if Pam & Tommy Lee had a professional cinematographer shoot this it would still be worthless, because what you're seeing isn't a sex film as much as it is Tommy Lee's tribute to himself (and a pathetically undeserved one at that; his "performance" would get him laughed off the set of an actual porn film). Don't waste your time or your money on this loser.

The sexy side of this video caught my attention, but upon closer examination I noticed how revealing this home video sequence was and how normal these "Pop Icons" are. There is explicit sex and nudity but it is brief or barely distinguishable. The jittery hand held camera work or blurred lens will drive you nuts. It took the couple a few days before they realized the camera lens was filthy. Behind the scenes Pam seems more like a sweet modest girl than the sex pot her image portrays. They live in luxury and freedom and this gives you a peak at "how the other half lives". I reviewed the version with "numerous scenes restored". But this may well have translated into many long, and boring sequences like their "Alien Wedding" where the bride and groom and various guests wear tin foil and spacesuits. The video reveals some wild and drunken behavior but also reveals two people that seem like fairly typical young adults that are in love. They certainly never intended for this to be seen by the public, and their private craziness may not be too far from the lives of others of their age. I would certainly pass on this one unless you are really thrilled by the voyeuristic aspects of it all. The technical quality of the video is the lowest I've seen.

There are 2 reasons why I watched this movie. The first being that it is a

istic insight into the lives of people with more money than sense and the second being that it was recommended to me from my friends.

I was very disappointed because all it really is is Pam and Tommy hanging around on a boat . Nothing really to get worked up about. The scenes (all 3 of them) are very unspectacular too. There is a couple of straight and one oral. All are nothing special and there is definitely better stuff out there. The only reason this has gained notoriety is that Pam denied the existence.

There is much better official out there that is way more entertaining. Try real porn with Ashley Blue or Kitty. Give this a miss but if you're really bored and your friend has loaned you a copy...watching it will only make you more bored.

A cinematic triumph. Pamela and Tommy Lee's Sex Video, supposedly stolen from the newlyweds' house, is nothing but buoyant fun. Pamela Anderson Lee, the internationally lusted-after Baywatch star, is positively unsinkable as she frolics in the buff off the Lees' Jacuzzi-equipped pleasure cruiser.

Speaking of pleasure cruisers, Tommy's is cinema's real Titanic, although in this case it never founders. (Tommy Lee first made his name -- for what it's worth -- in the brainless 80s teen-rock band Motley Cru. You can certainly see where he got his self-confidence.)

Even Pamela's famously plasticized accessories don't ring a false note. Who's to say what's real; they show up on videotape, right? Besides, there's no faking dialogue like:

Pamela: "Where's my cocktail?"

Tommy: "It's right here, baby." (he pans downward)

It's too bad the happy couple's dissolute pleasures are marred by excessive expressions of love and devotion.

"You're the best f---ing husband in the world!" Pamela squeals.

Other than that bit of sentimentality, this is forty-five minutes worth of premium Americana -- show-biz success enjoyed the way God intended it: in a four-wheel-drive truck, rocking its shocks to pieces in the breakdown lane of the I-5.

(Note: If IMDb doesn't want certain words included in reviews, even when those words are actual quotations from the film, then perhaps IMDb should not include films that contain such nasty words in its database.)

"Baby, I gotta be preggos 'cause you were so, far, inside me, that I was like inside out." "Baby, that is one weenis." "Oh, lover, you are so beautiful." All the screenwriters Andy Warhol ever worked with couldn't have come up with the dialogue of this "inadvertent" hardcore travelogue of the Pam and Tommy honeymoon, which is white-trash cretinism boiled down to a post-bakeage minimalism that is genuinely mind-blowing. These may be the two stupidest people ever committed to celluloid. If you ever wondered what a doobie-baked stripper says to her heroin-riddled tattooed deadbeat boyfriend before he passes out on her floor, this will provide some much-needed answers.