Meteoriti! - Paura dal cielo

Bland, unexciting sci-fi thriller that spawned from my beloved uncle's wardrobe of horrible movies he got for free from work. A small American city is threatened by a huge storm of meteorites. Less people die from the actual meteor shower than from their own severe incompetence and ability to screw everything up.

Obviously the movie's budget was too low to film any scenes of asteroid carnage, so instead the film trails off from the main subject of mass destruction and focuses on the lives and times of our ugly main characters, a couple of thieves, and the upcoming redneck festival...(wtf?) What we're left with is one final scene where all the good guys hide in a cave while the space rocks rain down outside. With no casualties at all. That's how bland this movie is.

The funniest scene occurs during the end. Panic has broken out in the streets and we find our hero, the typical American Dad, trapped in his own hospital with electrified water covering the floor. American Dad's screw-up assistant #1 tries to jump from a table to the window despite screw-up assistant #2's cries in protest, which results in a major electrocution which somehow transforms screw-up assistant #1 into a pair of smoking shoes.

Worth a couple of laughs but much too stupid and uninteresting for its own good. Watch only if you have too much time on your hands (like, if you're trapped in a cave for six hours). Otherwise, avoid at all costs.(r#13)

This film has just been shown on TV on a Bank Holiday morning in the UK, and I think for that sort of occasion, it was just about right! Rather bland, nothing to frighten the children - an undemanding way to pass 90 minutes or so. I actually enjoyed it, though of course I was aware of the complete absurdity of the premise that the stream of meteorites constantly targeted this one small town in the back of beyond! I retain quite a fondness for Tom Wopat from watching Dukes of Hazzard all those years ago (I still like John Schneider too!). I loved Pato Hoffman as the native-American sheriff - what a gorgeous man, and his rapid healing must make him a very useful guy to have around - crushed leg one minute, barely limping the next! The teenagers were all much too pretty but no worse than your average disaster movie teens. All the 'scientific' bits were extremely low-tech, but then we've all been spoilt by the high-budget disaster films of recent years. Fairly dire script, but they did their best with it. Reasonably explosive SFX. Some very silly bits - loved the tabloid journalist getting his comeuppance!! All-in-all, quite watchable and really not as bad as some of these comments make it out to be! It didn't make any claims to be more than it was, and not every film made can win prizes, you know.

In the small town of Leroy Arizona nothing much ever happens. That is except for the big, annual UFO festival. Alas, this year will be different. This year, a storm of meteors is heading toward the Earth, and on a collision course with Leroy.

METEORITES! Is a made-for-TV disaster movie that's every bit as preposterous as the title implies. Tom Wopat and Roxanne Hart star as Tom and Cath Johnson, the only people in town with functioning brains. The rest include: The insufferable Mayor, the cynical reporter, the wimpy Sheriff, two snotty crooks, and a host of imbecilic extras wandering around in various UFO-themed costumes.

When the titular space rocks finally hit en masse, it's a blessing for the viewer!

BEST SCENE: When the pinheaded reporter is struck by a meteorite, leaving only smoldering boots behind!

A rib-tickling, ridiculous riot...

I guarantee you, just one hour of Meteorites! (they had to put an exclaimation mark in the title, didn't they) and you will fall asleep from boredom. I strongly believe that this mediocre meteor movie was filmed right here in Australia, as I can spot little Aussie things, like the packaging of chip cups and the fact that it is produced by Village Roadshow. Also, it stars Amiel Daemion, who is well known here for singing the hit song, "Addicted To Bass". In this film, she is flat and her acting range is limited. As for the plot, can you say "rip-off"? The special effects aren't that bad, but the film is so boring that you'll fall asleep before anything happens. And somebody call the props department, the Indian guy is supposed to have his leg trapped, but the block holding it down shakes around a little and lifts up when he moves. Please let this be the last TV produced disaster movie, before I saw this I thought "Volcano: Fire on The Mountain" was bad.

AUSTRALIAN CLASSIFICATION:

PG Medium Level Violence, Sexual References

Some diaster violence where you don't really see any impact occurs, as does some teenage sexual antics.

Meteorites is a classical USA movie that plays off of the alien reputation of Roswell, New Mexico and countless other commonly used B movie themes. In the movie, the town of Leroy is constantly bombarded by meteorites even though the chances of such an occurrence would almost be greater than the chances of finding a good movie in today's theatres! I believe that the same woman who played the mother in another USA movie, My Mother's Murder, is the central female figure in the movie.

Meteorites also has traces of Backdraft, Tremors, and many other "end of the world" movies. The most unbelievable aspect to this movie, like all other made for TV "destruction of earth" movies is that the person who discovers what is really going on is a housewife from the boonies. It is almost invariably never NASA or a highly respected objectivist scientist.

There are several humorous scenes in the movie, some which are totally laughable and inwardly funny. Meteorites is probably one of the more entertaining and watchable of the meteor/comet TV movies. Beware of celestial bodies coming