Edward Hitler: Right, so your philosophy is... bollocks?
Richard Richard: Yes!
Edward Hitler: Well that's a great view on life isn't it?
Richard Richard: Oh who cares about views on life, I thought we were talking philosophy?
Edward Hitler: But your philosophy is bollocks
Richard Richard: So let's talk bollocks!
Edward Hitler: BUT THAT'S ALL WE EVER DO!
Richard Richard: So let's do what we always do!
Edward Hitler: Oh god, and so it goes on, day after day, year in year out, slime in this ear, slime in that ear, don't you ever yearn for change?
[huge applause from the audience]
Edward Hitler: Alan Rickman eat your heart out!
[to Richie]
Edward Hitler: And cue
Richard Richard: [Looks at the audience who seems to have taken Eddie's side] Right. Wanna give me the feedline again in front of all your friends?
Edward Hitler: [Laughs to himself] Yea, sorry. I... I forgot to mention I was actually born in Southampton! It's my only home!
[another huge applause]
Richard Richard: Oh Eddie Eddie Eddie you were born in Southampton? Wow! Why did you ever leave?
Edward Hitler: That was a bit below the belt
[thinks of a comeback]
Edward Hitler: Because... I found the railway station!
[another HUGE applause]
Richard Richard: [to the audience] Stop fucking clapping!
[imitates them]
Richard Richard: Bastards!
[to someone in the audience]
Richard Richard: Especially you! You oughtta fucking jump!
Edward Hitler: That's no way to speak to my mother
[to the audeince]
Edward Hitler: Sorry mum
