Repligator

I have challenged my masochistic urge to sit through the worst of moviedom's offerings. What does not kill you makes you stronger, right? Wrong. I'm now convinced it makes you stupider for having gone through it in the first place. I love movies. I love b-movies. I even love bad movies and making my friends sit very uncomfortably through them. But after watching 'Repligator' I've come to the unpleasant conclusion that apparently I don't love myself at all. 'Repligator' is beyond terrible and there is no thesaurus big enough to list the many ways in which 'Repligator' is awful, terrible, bad ...

Filmed with extreme cheapness (was this project a tax write-off? was it some kind of scam to con government film-funding and other private investors?) and a level of professionalism well-suited to semi-evolved chimpanzees, 'Repligator' fails in every possible category of film. Name one and it fails. The music is distractingly awful and completely out of place. The writing is awful. The acting is beyond cheesy. Or maybe it is just so ... minimalist in its approach that IT DOESN'T EXIST. Direction, editing, camera work, special effects -- nothing works in this film and the whole thing seems like an exercise in how to make stupid people (me for watching) pay for their stupidity (me for watching) with the most pain (me by watching). Even if you're a fan of gratuitous nudity (and there is plenty) it isn't worth it.

There are no redeeming qualities, save for one: 'Repligator' is clear proof that no matter how low-budget, no matter how bad your film can be, there IS a sucker born every minute. Many of those suckers have money. Find them, milk them for everything you can, and you too can make a movie.

Though it's always nice to see the likes of Gunnar Hansen and Brinke Stevens in movies, this godawfully unfunny sci-fi / sex "comedy" is nowhere near being endurable!

Granted, the idea of male-to-female-to-reptile transformation is intriguing. Alas, this movie makes it into a misery!

No, it's not the dollar store "special" effects, robotic "acting", or disastrous attempts at "humor" that make REPLIGATOR so reprehensible. All of these elements, handled correctly, could have resulted in a schlock masterwork.

Nope, it's the pluck-my-brain-out-with-ice tongs boredom factor that sinks this project! Not even the abundant nudity will keep the viewer's drooping eyelids from slamming shut!

Back away slowly...

I am watching this as I write. I am a great fan of B-grade sci-fi movies. If you are not like me, avoid this like the plague.

The acting is not quite as bad as your average porno, and the nudity is gratuitous.

The question of having a load of military men transformed into nymphomaniac women that lust after their formerly co-gendered colleagues caused a bit of mental squeamishness.

And then there's that "From Dusk To Dawn"-esque plot twist at the halfway point: "She experienced a prehistoric orgasm that stretched her genetic code. Now we have Gator-Babe".

Pure genius.

This film is a great farce, professionally done and worth seeing.

I mean, look at the cover. You know what you're getting into. It's trash and it's aware of being trash. The acting is horrible, the script is basically non-existent and almost the entire movie was shot in a few days in a dingy studio. But it's still worth watching if you're into really bad movies.

There's one hilariously out of place establishing shot in the first third of the movie. It's CGI, to be precise: It's mid 90s CGI on a very tight budget. It's utterly mind bending, especially when a pixelated car which consists of at least 20 polygons drives through the shot.

I almost died laughing watching this scene for the first time, because it feels both alien and stupid. Then the "plot" continues and the rest of the movie alternates between bad dialogue, terrible action sequences and excessive nudity. Just what you'd expect from a movie with a cover like this.

Still, there's something admirable about this film. I enjoyed it, but also felt violated by the sheer stupidity of this project. I mean, it's about repligators.