Stargames

Well, right about that time them Clark boys daddy said, "Time to be actors". Pappy Clark had just bought one of them Video Toasters and a Pentium with 8 Meg of Ram. So, it goes downhill from there.

Graydon plays the father to one of his sons. Earthboy, seen at the very end of Uninvited clutching a cat that looked nothing like the mutant cat. Bennett plays the father to his other son that honestly looks more handsome than the kid from Home Improvement, Jonathan Taylor Thomas. Spaceboy.

Earthboy gets lost on a family vacation. Earthboy meets Spaceboy who is running from a evil space dictator, who looks like a colander had sex with a pile of isht. And Happy.... WTF. That is the only reason to watch this movie and watch a horrible actor, do Robin Williams impressions horribly, dressed in full clown makeup.

Watch if you like movie masochism/narcissism.

There must be something good to say about a family-effort film project....in this case, it apparently involves the Clark clan and some marginally-talented homies....so, we can only hope it was meant for audiences under the age of seven. Anyone older will immediately pick up on the amazingly cheesy effects, performances---sadly including Tony Curtis', who must have owed somebody a big favor---and atrociously bad scripting and dialogue. (Count how many times the parents yell, "BRIAN!", even when he's right in front of them.) However, all this makes for a fabulous riff session, and you won't even need RiffTrax. You'll have plenty of your own material, especially when "Happy" shows up---it's this flick's only Clowning achievement.

That's really all you should need to know. The Rifftrax version is pretty funny, though.

This is actual "dialog" from this garbage.

"Hey HEY watch out there is a bear up THERE. HEY look OUT, THERE IS A BEAR about to COME over that hill. COME ON COMERE, COMERE COME ON COMERE COME ON run. COME ON, THERE's a BEAR RUN. COME ON get back" I can't believe they got paid for "work" of such low quality that a 5 year old could have done better without trying.

Everyone acts in a very weird manner in this film from the way they talk, walk, gestures, are all either fake or self conscious. Some thins are just explainable in terms of how someone could act in that fashion and think it is ok. I think anyone off the street could act better. The sad thing is the best actor was Tony Curtis and he was very strange in real life. I cannot imagine anyone over the age of 6 or that might enjoy this movie. Even then it might be difficult. This puts it out of the whole family category.