It Was Him or Us

My wife enjoys watching the lifetime network and I end up watching a lot of stuff I wouldn't end up watching otherwise. This movie is notable for the simple fact that I laughed throughout because of the predictability and fact most of the acting was awful.

This is a typical abuse movie, but it is also the kind you catch your self watching it every time it comes on. I wish it would come out on DVD. It is the type of Lifetime movie that makes me want to watch Lifetime movies. No it is not Oscar worthy acting but who cares!I always like the Richard Grieco movies on Lifetime. You know he never plays good guys. But you still can't help falling for him for at least a portion of the movie. Ann Jillian was good in this movie. I could not imagine being a former abuse victim and having to watch my own daughter showing the signs of abuse. Then have trouble getting through to my daughter would also kill me. I don't know why but these kind of Lifetime movies are my favorite.

even though there are many films like this, and it somehow seems "this could happen to anyone".

There is psychology involved, persecution, masochism. A not insignificant fact is that this was based on a true story, and the mother was involved with an abuser in this case.

Richard Grieco is believable, although a bit over the top. He makes a great chicken salad though!.

Ultimately, if you take this as a cautionary tale, it works. It is not a masterpiece, but may be instructive for young girls early teens, who think a guy seems "cool" only to learn the true facts. Violence isn't cool. Alcoholism and jail isn't cool. Not a bad Lifetime addition.

Made for TV movie detailing the darker side of obsessive relationships. Brings together a bunch of formerly famous television drama characters -- you'll have flashbacks to 21 jump street, life goes on, star trek the next generation, and get to see some of the earlier work of a cast member of 7th heaven.

Either Him or Us, a 1995 t.v. movie, is most effective in shedding light on the victim mentality, specifically, how easy it is for women to fall prey to seemingly well meaning men who are nothing more than wife beaters. Ann Jillian plays a woman, herself a victim of wife abuse, who battles the obsessive, violent boyfriend of her granddaughter, played by Monique Lanier. The film works in showing Lanier's belief that her boyfriend's passion for her is what is also responsible for his violent ways, and director Iscove succeeds in creating this conflict.

All performances are strong, especially Richard Grieco's, who is terrific in portraying the subtlety of his character's obsession.

Unfortunately, his character, and performance, go over the top in the last third of the film, as he gets even more deranged and the film lapses into too familiar territory. Thus, much interest and psychology are lost to a more derivative format typical of many movies about obsessive love.

Worth seeing, nonetheless, for the performances.