Kiss & Tell

I really only was interesting in seeing this film because of the stars in it (Rose McGowan, Heather Graham, David Arquette). However the movie was fairly boring but had a lot of funny moments. I suggest you see/rent this movie if you like Rose, Heather, David or any other actors in the movie.

...All in all, it was a good movie.

Imaginative but poorly written film noir style farce about Los Angeles detectives attempting to solve murders with multiple references to small mammals in the family "Leporidae" of the order "Lagomorpha" (insert "rabbits" here). It's not "Brewster McCloud" or the Coen Brothers, but it would loosely fit into their genre or at least it appears to have been so intended. Unfortunately the farce qualities fall victim to the flat cheapness of its "Legend of Billie Jean" (1985) production style.

The editing is perhaps the worst you will ever find although that could simply be a reflection of the limitations of the footage the editor had to assemble.

My guess is that the Arquette family talked someone into giving them $300,000 in exchange for being allowed close access to an assortment of hot actresses during the filming. The actresses appear to have been sedated for this purpose, drifting between the producer's trailer and the filming like a bunch of freshman girls who have been sampling the roofie-laced punch at their first fraternity party. I doubt if the cast was paid as nobody takes off their top.

A young Rose McGowan looks great in tight red leather pants (see poster) but appears on the verge of falling asleep at any moment. Heather Graham is equally sleepy but dully costumed. Pamela Gidley has a great time playing a character named Beta Carotene; she appears to be the only one fully awake, perhaps high on Vitamin A. The Arquettes listlessly interact with these three name actresses along with an assortment of aspiring actresses whose careers were obviously not advanced by this production.

Then again, what do I know? I'm only a child.

Quite possibly the worst movie I have ever endured. It felt and looked like a film studies class project, except for the number of recognizable actors. A wasted group of talent. I can't say anything other than that is an hour-and-a-half of my life that I will never get back.

I'm sure this is a movie. I think it's more like a loose collection of scenes with no plot, no script and bad lighting.

The direction is horrible, the acting is wooden and the editing seems to have been done by someone with ADD. The plot, such as it is, consists of the LAPD hunting down a serial killer who murders their victims by jamming a carrot up their rear-ends.

Don't waste your time with this horrible, horrible film, unless you have a fetish for watching horrible, horrible films.

Here's a list of things I would rather have been doing instead of watching this film:

Hanging myself from the rafters with a shoelace. Having my eyes gouged out with a spoon. Watching "Battlefield Earth."

Oh my God, is this film awful.

You may get a good laugh from watching "Kiss and Tell," but it won't be from stale, typical jokes. The humor in this indie flick is of a different breed than most comedies. The film was made on a less-than-shoestring budget, but it doesn't need special effects or an expensive soundstage set to work. Teresa Hill and Pamela Gidley give standout performances. I highly recommend this DVD. Treat yourself to something different.