Centrespread

There's precious little to like in this dumb flick. The female lead is a centrefold model who shows no evidence of having been to acting school and thankfully hasn't been heard of since. The male leads plays his camp character as dislikable, pretentious and effete.

There is a vague sci-fi plot supported by some truly ridiculous futuristic camera gear.

As an exploitation flick it doesn't get off the ground because the heroine can't project any erotic heat and simpering innocence won't carry the day. And contrary to expectations she doesn't disrobe much. As a sci-fi yarn it sinks without trace because of the low budget sets and props.

It was made at a time when tax breaks were the main motive for much film financing in Australia. The quality of the product was secondary, as in second rate. Just like here.

Its title sci fi faux softcore ozplotation. This 6 out of 10 star review is the only one needed to read (6 stars might be generous) this reveiw alone makes the movie worth watching and i dont even know what that means .. but solid writing

If this review were rating Centrespread on softcore nudity alone, it would be a 10/10 all the way. We have many gorgeous Australian girl shedding their togs for the camera, and besides a bit of unwelcome male flesh much later on, it's a barbecue of babes all the way! Yee-ha!

Alas, in terms of being an actually watchable motion picture, it's shortcomings are much more apparent, Whilst watching models rub their breasts whilst covered in body paint or engaging in faux-lesbian scenes together might be diverting for a while, the surrounding story... something about a photographer trying to find the 'next big discovery' or risk losing his job is so tedious, it would be better if it didn't exist at all.

Eventually, even the T&A becomes repetitive regardless of how many different setting and backdrops they decide to throw at us, and the end result is a pretty worthless thing who's only redeeming features you can find freely on the Internet today anyway.

P.S What exactly was the point in setting it in the future? Who knows? Who cares. 2/10

...is his best, which doesn't say all that much. It's a mixture of futuristic science fiction woven into a corny love story that probably would have worked, but for the script, which contained so much constant nudity and sex that mainstream actors would have been highly unlikely to accept the roles. Add to that budget constraints - Groom, as producer of this one, would not have had access to the funds he has now (although the Australian Film Corporation gets a plug here) - and what we're left with is an Australian foray into very soft porn that has trouble finding a mainstream audience because of the acting quality. Just who the hell are Kylie Foster and Paul Trahair? A quick search on IMDb tells us that Trahair's only other role was as a young detective in SQUIZZY TAYLOR. Foster is much more travelled: she had character roles in the TV series PRISONER and SKYWAYS, and then found parts in KITTY AND THE BAGMAN, MELVIN and QUIGLEY DOWN UNDER - though how is a mystery, noting her acting "talent" in CENTRESPREAD. Indeed, while CENTRESPREAD could have become an Australian cinematic landmark akin to MAD MAX, the best parts remain the opening and closing themes, the former of which could easily have become a mainstream pop classic. Rating: 5/10

Agreed, the acting in this film is truly awful. But there's enough nudity and some lovely images (I particularly enjoyed the early scene where there is paint smeared over naked bodies during a weird photo shoot) to hold the interest. And, as a former resident of Adelaide, I was pleased to see a film which used the famous Maslin Beach (first legal nude beach in Aus) as a location.

The tone is surreal throughout, and the awful acting and weak story seem only to add to that effect. Worth a look, especially if you can lay your hands on the video version which includes a "the making of" special, which includes some extra nude scenes.