Wacky Races

When I was five years old I never missed Wacky Races. Even though I'm now a grown man I still occasionally tape it. I think Dick Dastardly must be credited with introducing the phrase "drat and double drat" into the English language. My mother used to use old Dick as a piece of moral instruction telling me that he showed that people who cheat never win. They keep on doing remakes of cartoons with real actors these days so how about one of Wacky Races with say Rowan Atkinson as Dick Dastardly.

One of the more influential of the mid-60s Hanna-Barbara cartoons, this fondly remembered pure piece of action showed a dozen racers using tricked up racers that would make James Bond's Q drool - and if you ever want to start a discussion among middle aged cartoon freaks, ask them to name the racers and their vehicles. Number one was the Bouldermobile, driven by Rock and Gravel. It was a rock on wheels, sort of like what Fred Flintstone drove, only a little less sophisticated. As were Rock and Gravel. Number two was the Creepy Coupe, a haunted house on wheels (haunted mobile home?) The Gruesome Twosome drove, but the various supernatural inhabitants of the car did all the work, from additional speed to the occasional dirty trick. Number three was the Convertacar, driven by Professor Pat Pending. A transformer that makes Optimus Prime look like a wannabe, this rolling Swiss army knife could do just about anything but win consistently. Number four was the Crimson Haybailer, driven by the prerequisite Prussian, WWI ace The Red Max. Couldn't have a show based on The Great Race without a German, after all. His vehicle had one of the better names, but one of the poorer vehicles, lacking most of the comic accessories of the others. Number five was the Compact Pussycat, driven by Penelope Pitstop, southern belle and token female. More an automated beauty salon on wheels than a racer, it did not make the jump to the sequel show, The Perils of Penelope Pitstop. Number six was The Army Surplus Special, driven by Sargeant Blast and Private Meekly. It may not have been the fastest, but it carried the most firepower. Number seven is the vehicle which is sure to cause the most geeky argument. The Ant Hill Mob drives a vehicle called "their Bulletproof Bomb" in the opening credits - but which is referred to during one of the episodes as The Roaring Plenty. Whatever the name, it had no special features except for the hole in the floor which allowed the Mob to put their collective feet to good use. This team also would find a second chance at stardom in The Perils of Penelope Pitstop. Number eight, The Arkansas Chugabug, was the pride and joy of hillbilly Luke and his cowardly bear, Blubber. Hard to say what needed the most explanation - how a plank on wheels with a potbellied stove could go 0-60 in 5 seconds, or how Luke managed to steer it. Number nine was the Turbo Terrific, driven by Peter Perfect. Another great name for a car with no real ability except to go to pieces on a regular basis. Number ten was The Buzzwagon, driven by Rufus Ruffcut and his beaver co-pilot, Sawtooth. The car I have always thought of as the Canadian entry, this log cabin with saw-blade wheels must have been hard on the backside, but I imagine the superhumanly strong Rufus could handle it. Certainly he had no problems with traction. Finally, car 00 was The Mean Machine, driven by Dick Dastardly and Muttley. As versatile as the Convertacar and as well armed as the Surplus Special, it also went to pieces far too often, due to its villainous driver's evil plans. Dick and Muttley would get their own show together, but it would be Muttley with his distinctive snicker who would go on to appear again and again in other cartoons.

The Hanna-Barbera series "The Wacky Races" emerged as a slapstick antidote to the violent superhero shows which had saturated the overall landscape of Saturday Morning cartoons during the 1967-1968 season,and when it premiered as part of the brilliant CBS-TV line-up of Saturday Morning shows at the height of the 1968-1969 season,it set off some sort of precedent when a season after its debut,but spun off not one but two other cartoons while continuing its run on the network. The series ran on CBS-TV from the premiere episode of the series on September 14,1968 through the final installment of the series on September 5,1970 with repeated episodes from the first season produced by Hanna-Barbera productions. This was however one of the original Hanna-Barbera potpourri of shows that basically recycled the same formula which assembled a huge cast of characters and involved them in some kind of repetitious activity. The main antagonists in the never ending worldwide car race were the racers themselves and their situations,and to put it bluntly was repeated three times in various carbon copy format during the entire decade of the 1970's(which in turned several animation studios used the same formula for various shows...Filmation and DePatie-Freleng took the same story lines and characters to put in their own shows).

Basically,if you seen one episode of "Wacky Races",you've seen them all,since they rigidly in just about every episode follows the same plot each time:and this was a bunch of animated "theme" automobiles raced across various parts of the country and the world amid manic antics. As far as the characters were concerned they consisted of the following. There was the log-car driven by a beaver and a lumberjack; a spooky-mansion car driven by monsters;an Appalachian backporch car driven by a bunch of hillbillies and a bear;a car with a big engine driven by a handsome young stud;a dainty pink car driven by a female counterpart(Penelope Pitstop);a roadster driven a Ant Hill Mob,a gang of dwarfes in 1920's style clothing. Each episodes follows the same recipe as with one car ahead,and then the others that would used special tricks to catch up. But the straw that stirred the drink and what made the show interesting to watch was the duo of Dick Dastardly and his assistant snickering dog Muttley in their Mean Machine always trying to find ways to cheat,but at the end of each episode he would always failed miserably. The following year,Hanna-Barbera made a spin-off series of "Wacky Races" titled "Dastardly and Muttley" which featured these two characters as part of a squad of villainous World War I flying aces who flew a single four-seater plane(The other two pilots had weird speech impediments as their character shtick.). The pilots were given the job of stopping a heroic carrier pigeon and just like in about every episode was repeated with Dastardly trying any scheme he can to stop the pigeon only with mixed results. The was definitely the version of The Road Runner and the Coyote but not nearly as clever visually. This was part of the CBS-TV schedule for the 1969-1970 season. The other "Wacky Races" spin-off that came around for the 1970-1971 season,"The Perils of Penelope Pitstop",was totally different from the rest of the pack,with one exception. In fact,it was one of the weirdest shows to ever appear on Saturday Mornings. This show was a combination of Snow White,and the combination of the 1930's serial The Perils of Pauline with just about every clinche every added for grand measure. They took two of the characters of Wacky Races;Penelope Pitstop and made the Ant Hill Mob her guardian protectors. In just about every episode she was also stalked,pursued,and sometimes captured by her evil guardian The Hooded Claw(voiced to perfection by Paul Lynde). The Ant Hill Mob was always riding in just a nick of time to her rescue. There was a strange undercurrent to the show too: since Penelope spent large proportions of each episode either tied up or otherwise in bondage. Not to mention some of the kinkiest S&M ever devised for a children's show. The series remained in repeated episodes until mid-1971,where CBS finally got rid of Wacky Races once and for all.

A Hanna-Barbera classic, i would probably rate this in the top 5 H-B cartoons of all time. Its a half hour show, with about 8 wild looking cars duelling out to the end. Dick Dastardly was H-B's Wile E. Coyote, using many contraptions to try and stop his opponents. Only difference was that Dick's partner, the snikering Muttley, is there to openly laugh at Dick's foul ups. Cartoon stands the test of time, being funny today as much as it was when it first aired. My personal favorite was the Ant Hill Mob.

You had the Flintstones, which was essentially an animated version of the Honeymooners, and you had the Jetsons, which was essentially a futuristic version of the Flintstones. You had Bugs and Daffy, Tom and Jerry, Woody Woodpecker and Popeye and Bluto, but nothing comes close to the Wacky Races for originality.

For the uinitiated, each week there is a "wacky race" to determine the "world's wackiest racer." A dozen cars participate, each with a unique characteristic. There's Dick Dastardly, and his sidekick, Muttley; Penelope Pitstop and her compact-on-wheels; Peter Perfect and his turbo-charged (and "symbolic") long-nosed racing car, and a host of other "Wackos" who became like an extended family of crazy uncles to a generation of youngsters.