Wild Wild West

Back in the 60s, The Wild, Wild West, staring Robert Conrad and Russ Martin was one of the best shows of it's time, a interesting mixture of Science Fiction, Fantasy, Gadget Spy films, and light hearted satire. A favorite of mine, I've long enjoyed the show. So naturally, I was looking forward to the big screen adaption, even though it did star Will Smith (Sorry, Will, but you're no Robert Conrad.)

The movie had all the ingredients needed to make a good film: An excellent cast (Kevin Klein, Ken Branaugh, Selma Hayek, even Smith,) an excellent, proven director in Barry Sonnefeld, and a proven genre... Rather, it had all the ingredients that it needed except one... It had the worst script possible.

I've always been wary of any project that was written by committee, and this film is one project that proves why. The excellent cast, crew, and effects of this film were wasted on one of the worst screenplays I've ever seen. The clever (if pulp inspired) stories of the original series are replaced by tepid attempts at comedy which even Smith, who normally is very funny, can't pull off. Kenneth Branaugh succeeds at nothing other than managing to eat the scenery, unable to do anything else, since his lines are so bad. Klein is saddled with the role of Smith's straight man, something that he's just too damn funny to be. As for the effects, like I said, they were spectacular, but the problem is that they seem to be the 'be all and end all' of the movie, instead of working for the story (such as there was in this case.) The simple fact is that they overpower the film.

I guess, if you are a die hard Will Smith fan who has never seen the original series, you might like this one. But for fans of the old series, avoid it, and watch reruns, or else one of the two other shows in the genre, 'Legend' or 'The Adventures of Brisco County Junior.'

If you don't take it too seriously, Its a fun and entertaining film. I don't understand why people hate it so much!

The fun old TV series becomes a tired series of special-effects scenes. Will Smith tries, but is miscast and utterly unbelievable. (And I'm sorry, but having an African-American as a "top government agent" four years after the end of the Civil War simply cannot be made believable, despite valiant attempts to try.) Kevin Kline, a fine actor, does what he can as Artemus Gordon, but seems to be recapitulating his "In and Out" persona (Ross Martin was never that prissy.) Kenneth Branagh, as the villain, plays it so far over the top you can't even see the top from where he his. Salma Hayek is undeniably lovely, but is wasted (she's basically an afterthought). Special effects are good, plot is stupid, script is awful. As a fan of the old series, I was very disappointed.

The opening credits of this film were highly entertaining, and the closing credits featuring Will's WWW rap was fun as well. Everything in between was a pure, unadulterated, steaming pile of crud! I sat and marveled at the drek that was being spewed out on the screen from this supposedly Summer Blockbuster movie and was totally stupefied. I've seen bad movies before, and I've certainly seen my share of big-budget, special-effects money machines - but none was as poorly conceived as this. What makes it even more amazing is that we had actors with at least a proven track record of success. We had a director (Barry Sonnenfeld) who has managed to put together his share of successful movies. And if this weren't enough, there was a pant load of big explosions and digital effects! So what went wrong?

The script, the script, the script. It boggles my mind that this screenplay actually made it to production. The dialogue was atrocious. The attempts at humor were pathetic. The characters had about as much depth as the screen they were being projected on. Hayek's character was completely pointless, and had less than no reason to be there. The repeated exchange of racial/disabled insults between the black Jim West and the legless Dr. Loveless was shameful. It seemed that about every twenty minutes Kline's character launched into a diatribe reiterating the plot, and articulating what they were doing and why. I can only assume this was intended for the audience members who had just woken up and needed to get caught up with the "action."

My biggest regret in seeing this film is that wish I could have warned you earlier not to see it. I'm sure there are several movie fans out there right now who unwittingly fell victim to this movie, and are at this moment still lying in bed with the covers pulled over their heads, swearing they'll never go to the theater again as long as they live. Don't go see this movie, don't let your kids see this movie, don't even recommend it to people you truly despise. If, on the other hand, you have a morbid fascination with the continuing devolution of Hollywood and aren't afraid to face definitive evidence that our culture is moments away from claiming creative bankruptcy, this one is a must see.

It's that time of year. The time when Hollywood trots out it's worst of the summer. You know the drill. There's a "Godzilla" every year, somebody has to be it. "Wild Wild West" clenches the title hands down this summer, and we still have eight weeks to go!

The Will Smith phenomenon has now entered it's third phase: overwhelming ego project. Teaming with his "Men In Black" director Barry Sonnenfeld, Smith has finally teetered over the edge and released an outright mess. A film that will hang in the halls of all time bad event flicks. Should we blame Smith? I think so. "Men In Black" and "Independence Day" were gigantic hits, they even call the 4th of July "Big Willie Weekend" due to these successes. I submit that these films were hits due to the films themselves, the writing, acting, directing, and not just because of Smith. "West" is finally the film that rests on Smith's comedic shoulders alone. The truth shines through clearly. Not everything Will Smith does is funny.

Based in the television show running from 1965-1970, the simple plot tells the tale of a Civil War era federal marshal James West (Smith), who must team up with a weapons expert (Kevin Kline, at his most painfully unfunny) to thwart the evil plans of the villain, and legless, Arliss Loveless (Kenneth Branagh). Along for the ride is a giant mechanical tarantula, President Grant, and the stunning, gorgeous, lovely, and just plain old hot Salma Hayek. The plot is just a simple excuse to push the characters through endless scenes that give birth to no laughs at all. Scenes that make the audience gringe with fear, as if something wrong is with them. Fear not my good people, these are professionals up on screen, and they blew it.

The screenplay, credited to FOUR writers, has the damnedest time to make any of the jokes funny. You would not believe just how far the cast goes to make this limp material work. It's embarrassing to watch, and even more embarrassing for the actors. There is not one funny moment in the film, not even a courtesy laugh for the attempt. Dead silence. I also disapprove of the attempt to squeeze racial jokes into the mix. Yes, Will Smith is African-American, but do we need to call attention to it every five minutes? The movie would've been better served had it left the race issue alone and just played up the potential fun of the concept.

Will Smith is simply miscast as the hero. He's an amiable actor who's proven himself with stronger material. This film clearly shows just how paper thin the Smith charm can be. While Kevin Kline tries but fails as well, it's really Hayek's role that's a mystery. She's barely in the film, and when her character is explained, you come to realize that she's not apart of the story at all. Hayek has always been a fun performer with winning personality. All this movie asks of her is to be the butt (literally) of a few jokes and keep the cleavage coming. A shameful waste of talent.

Director Sonnenfeld has also been at the helm of better pictures ("Get Shorty"), but for some reason I have yet to see a truly great film directed by him. There always seems to be a spark missing from the action, like a better, funnier film was in there somewhere but he can't find it. Relying in great amounts on special effects and the considerable use of easy-to-spot green screen shots, the typical Sonnenfeld camera work is either buried under all the mayhem or just not inventive when the attempt is actually made. This is a very top-heavy production with little chance to breathe. But Sonnenfeld made this choice, he must be held accountable for it.

The movie has been through many edits, and this shows with wildly out of tune continuity and many unexplained plot twists. Also grating on the brain is Elmer Bernstein's annoying and featherweight musical score. While we have Warner Brothers shamefully trotting out it's "We pray it's as big as the 'Men In Black'" Will Smith rap tune, Bernstein provides a flat score that serves no purpose to enliven the film. The cinematography is also without color, and the catering probably sucked too.

"Wild Wild West" is the product of zero imagination. A lifeless summer film that seems to stick out even more in this unusually good movie season. I am always wary of comic westerns, and this film seals that envelope. If this is what 160 million buys you? I'll take the 3 million "South Park" any day.------------ 0