- Nick Falzone: [finds Connie crying in the living room] What is it?
- Connie Falzone: Sit down, Nick. I've been explaining to the kids what it means that daddy... won't be around anymore.
- Nick Falzone: [drops bouquet] Hey... hey, hey Connie. Wait a minute, Connie... Connie, do you even want to hear my side of this?
- Connie Falzone: What's your side of my father dying...?
- Know-It-All Schoolboy: [In response to his teacher's request that the class say "metaphor"] That wasn't a metaphor. That was a simile. "Laying pipe" is a metaphor.
- Nick Falzone: [to Russell Bell] I'm personally going to see to it that you go down in flames!
- Airplane Pilot: What?
- Nick Falzone: Negative, United. That was not to you. Not to you!
- [Jet flies low over Ed's house]
- Ed Clabes: Dammit! I left a *note*, to use alternate climbouts today. Who's on departure?
- Tina Leary: Uh, I dunno it's probably Harrison?
- Ed Clabes: Harrison, that asshole! I'll make sure every seven forty-seven leaving New York tomorrow night blows shingles off his roof!
- Tina Leary: Well, at least it drowns out Falzone.
- Russell Bell: Thought is the enemy.
- Nick Falzone: I know. I've been thinking too much. I had that thought actually.
- Mary Bell: Are there people who find you charming?
- Nick Falzone: Well they pretend, 'cause I try real hard.
- Nick Falzone: [to Russell Bell] I called your house and Mary said you'd be out here.
- Nick Falzone: She sounds good
- Nick Falzone: Oh, she wanted I give you this message, "See, I told you Colorado wasn't far enough".
- Nick Falzone: [Nick finds Mary crying in the supermarket] Anything I can do?
- Mary Bell: No, fine.
- Supermarket Clerk: [to Mary] Is this man bothering you?
- Supermarket Clerk: [to Nick] What did you say to her?
- Nick Falzone: Hey! Hey, go away. Go battle evil on aisle twelve!
- Mary Bell: [after she has gone to bed with Nick] I'm so sorry...
- Nick Falzone: Why?
- Mary Bell: I wasn't talking to you.
- Nick Falzone: Who were you talking to?
- Mary Bell: God, I guess!
- Ed Clabes: [When the girls sit down at the table with the controllers at the diner] I'm married.
- Nick Falzone: [the controllers all laugh] And you were just about to throw yourself at him, weren't you?
- Leo Morton: Ed, can you take that Delta?
- Ed Clabes: No, I can't take the Delta, my airspace is finite.
- Barry Plotkin: Uh-oh, Ed's going down the drain.
- Ed Clabes: I am NOT going down the drain.
- Barry Plotkin: Oh yes you are. It happens every time you use the term "finite."
- Jethro (Sparta Pilot): Sparta 753 for Newark approach.
- Nick Falzone: Hey Sparta 753, is that Jethro?
- Jethro (Sparta Pilot): Yeehaw!
- Nick Falzone: How's my favorite redneck?
- Jethro (Sparta Pilot): Falzone, are you mocking me, son?
- Nick Falzone: Yes, before you run out of cornpone or whatever you use for fuel.
- Jethro (Sparta Pilot): Shoot, we wouldn't waste good moonshine to fly one of these shit-boxes. Now are you going to give me a vector or am I going to have to find New York by the smell?
- Nick Falzone: Oh, all right. Sparta 753 turn left heading zero-zeven-zero, maintain two-thousand till localizer. Cleared ILS runway four.
- Jethro (Sparta Pilot): ILS runway four. Hey let's have dinner some time control. I want to see if you are as ugly as you sound.
- Nick Falzone: OK, as long as I can find a place where we don't need shoes. Now will your pig be dinning with you or will you be sleeping alone?
- Dynajet Flight Attendant: Sir, will you please sit down! The Captain is in control of the plane!
- Nick Falzone: Oh, you think the Captain is in control? Now THAT would really scare me!
- Ron Hewitt: hey Russell... we hear this story... they say you stood on a runway in New Mexico and let a 747 part your hair with wake turbulence. That Happen?
- Russell Bell: No.
- Ron Hewitt: That's what we thought.
- Russell Bell: No, that was in arizona.
- Barry Plotkin: you really did that?
- Russell Bell: Yeah!
- Barry Plotkin: Why?
- Russell Bell: Well, I guess my life was a lil short on excitement. Of course, all that's changed tonight.