A Gun, a Car, a Blonde

Everyone involved with this shyster of a movie must probably now be wanting to pay to have it burned. What a description defying disappointment. I don't think anyone comes out of this unscathed - what were they thinking...Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid? The lighting and Camera personnel try but everything else leaves them high and dry. Billy Bob Thornton doesn't pick his roles all that well, in fact, just seems to want the money - can't any longer see him as a recommendation to see a movie. This one also looks like it was a back yard production shot on VHS and doesn't even have enough pacing to be a good, bad movie! Only for the easily pleased.

The talents of Billy Bob Thornton, Kay Lenz, John Ritter and Andrea Thompson aren't enough to salvage this crass and unimaginative drivel about Richard (Jim Metzler), a man with spinal cancer who discovers he can escape the pain for awhile through the use of `Objectification therapy.' By submerging himself into what is essentially a deep daydream, he is able to transport himself into an imaginary, black-and-white film noir world in which he is a Private Eye named Rick Stone. Apparently, director Stefani Ames had a limited shooting schedule on this film; too many scenes play like they were done in a single take with no rehearsal, as if the actors came away from the table after the initial cold reading with the cameras already rolling. Though obviously attempting to evoke the B-movies of the forties, the dialogue is laughably bad, especially in the black-and-white segments. Metzler's character, a cancer victim no less, is inexplicably unsympathetic, and Kay Lenz will not be getting a career boost from her turn as Richard's shrewish sister, `Peep.' Billy Bob Thornton and John Ritter will always have `Sling Blade,' and at least Andrea Thompson was lucky enough to escape this sort of fare for a spot on TV's `NYPD Blue.' The unfortunates rounding out the supporting cast include Victor Love, Norma Maldonado and Paula Marshall. The best thing that can be said about this film is that it makes one appreciate a really good movie. Where's Bogart or Mitchum when you need them? I rate this one 1/10.

A recently paralyzed young man, Richard, is forced to face the indignity of having his greedy sister, Peep, and her sleazy boyfriend, Syd, try to take over his life and fortune. As a film noir fan, he escapes from the pain in his body and the indignities of his sister by creating a film noir world in his mind. In that world, he is detective Rick Stone out to save his beautiful blonde client from a murder plot conceived by her sister. All of the people in Richard's life play parts in his mind's movie. This is a delightful, tongue-in-cheek send up of all the hard-boiled detective movies you've ever seen. Great fun!

i gave this movie an 8 out of 10 rating, but now that i think about it, it deserves at least a nine. it is one of those movies that, once it's over, you're not quite sure what you think about it. and then, about 10 minutes later, you realize it's really, really good.

aside from thornton and ritter, the cast is fairly low-profile, but there's no lack of talent here. as for the script, the film is a well-written homage to poorly-written film noir private dick movies from the 30s & 40s, but at the same time does not detract from its (the movie's) main plot.

and, in the tradition of poorly-written film noir private dick movies, it has some lines that are so bad they're good, like

"How can I hold anything against you when you hold me against you?"

basically, if you want to feel good without that cheesy disney aftertaste, rent this movie.

Found this DVD for five dollars ($5.00) in a discount store and was very entertained by the great musical sounds and Andrea Thompson, (The Blonde/Jade Norflect), "NYPDBlue 2000", who decided to become Eve in the Garden of Eden and appeared stark naked from head to toe. This story revolves around Jim Metzler, (Richard/Rick Stone) "Under the Influence",'02, who has a spinal problem which requires he stays in a a wheel chair; however, Richard is very well off and has plenty of help. Richard meets up with John Ritter, (Duncan/Bartender), who gives Richard a few ideas about leaving his body in a mystical manner and plays the role of another person. This suggestion pays off and Richard is able to play a sort of Sam Spade type of detective who has a blonde gal as a client or so called playmate. This film greatly surprised me and for some reason, never realized it was released on the silver screen.