Barney's Great Adventure

Barney the Dinosaur on television is tolerable. At least it has some educational value. This film, however, smokes the proverbial pole like few other children's films ever have. It is almost as if the producers wanted to see what an entire movie made of first takes would look like. The children are insipid, the adult actors were probably hired from casting calls at community theaters or special needs living facilities and the Dino-characters are more annoying than the squeakiest Pokemon you could imagine. This is a perfect example of an opportunity to make a good film out of an already successful television character squandered by lazy production and lack of funding. You would likely get more use from 5 dollars by eating it than spending it on this DVD.

I know it's cool to hate Barney, but this really is a bad movie. The TV show, as dumb as it is, at least entertains kids. This movie actually frightened my four year old daughter. She didn't enjoy the movie and only watched it to make sure everything was okay by the end. She was sad and anxious most of the movie.

The "plot" is nothing but a serious of perilous events, one after another, with the occasional (and out of place) Barney song interlude.

Adults will hate everything about this movie. The movie is also very dark and hard to see much of the time.

I would not recommend this movie to anyone, even Barney fans.

Barney was a big part of my childhood. Well, anti-Barney humor was a big part of my childhood. Yes, I was around when it first aired. I am so proud to say that it wasn't the first show I ever watched, as that would go to something like "Sesame Street" or "Mister Roger's Neighborhood". I don't know if this is even technically the first Barney movie. There may have been a few TV movies out there that came first. I don't care and don't want to watch them. I actually heard that even people who are Barney fans (yes, they exist) don't like this movie! A lot of things don't hold up as an adult and this is certainly one of them.

Is this worth all the hate it gets? Yeah, pretty much. I guess I don't hate it as much as most people and everyone will go nuts that I didn't give this a 1/10. You could use the argument that it's just something for kids, but that's not an excuse. The shows I just mentioned were for kids and they still hold up today. The late 90's really was a dark time for movies. It's a pity no one on Channel Awesome has reviewed this yet. I think this actually isn't quite made fun of as much as "Twilight" or "The Phantom Menace". To be fair to those, this really is worse than them.

The story just makes no sense. Baby Bop and BJ barely appear at all. Yeah, I'm not defending them. I'm just saying that the film could have had more variety if it had more than just Barney. They make a big deal about how the grandparents are going to see him. Everyone in the whole town saw him in public! Half of this movie is just spent looking for a lost egg. That's literally all that happens. Yeah, Barney does work in his trademark song at the end. There's much better stuff out there for your kids, but hey, this is still better than Carrot Top. *1/2

I will remember this movie as the first I ever saw in theaters. I don't remember how old I was, but I was enraptured by the plot, kids, and, of course, Barney. Now that I'm older, I'm sure I wouldn't enjoy the movie as much as I did at 5 years old, but back then it was heaven on earth to watch Barney and his friends race against time. The songs were cute and I loved singing along. It's not a spectacular piece of cinema, but then again, it's Barney. What do you expect, Oscars? I would rent this for children and I know they would enjoy it. For those of you who worry about the quality of the actors, I don't think any small children will care how talented they are. I sure didn't and I actually remember the actors as being decent. Final verdict: Great for kids from ages 4-6 or 7, depending on which shows they watch.

One of the beautiful things about childhood is that cynicism has not yet crept into our view of the world. Children have no frame of reference for new experiences, and so they appreciate those experiences as wonderful and react to them with delight.

The preceding paragraph explains why your children love Barney, and why you hate it. There is no need to belabor the point. The important question is, what makes this Barney movie different from a typical Barney television episode?

Difference number one: The replacement of children who can't act with children who can. Granted, they don't have much of a script to work with, but work with it they do, giving a modicum of life to characters that are essentially, like all characters in Barney stories, cardboard.

Difference number two: An injection of...get ready...production values! Have you watched Barney on television lately? Or ever? Did you notice the missed cues, poor timing, blown lines, and incessant hamming? Did you ever wonder if the director was familiar with the term "retake"? Fear not, because Barney's Great Adventure gives you an edited script, rudimentary choreography, and even one or two in-jokes for the benefit of Mom and Dad (something Sesame Street and Bear in the Big Blue House always seem to get right instinctively).

But the important question is, does it matter? And the answer is a resounding "no." My three-year-old sat enraptured throughout the movie, as your three-year-old will, hardly taking time to breathe or blink. When it was over, she wanted to watch it again. She cried when I said three times in two days was enough. Just like she has done with every other Barney video we have ever rented or owned.

Is Barney's Great Adventure a good movie? No. Is it passable? I guess so. Should you rent it for your child? Of course. Just pop it in the VCR and go cook a nice dinner for your family. I guarantee you won't be interrupted.